Fallen Crown
by Sunken Ship Sails
Summary: Cha Eun Sang thought she'd lead a peaceful, quiet life at Jeguk High after putting an end to her romance with Kim Tan. The resident bad boy, Choi Young Do, however, has plans to tangle her up in his thorny life. As she discovers more about Young Do's past, she'll sink deeper into a conspiracy that will turn her world upside down.
1. There Are Worse People

Eun Sang stood in front of Young Do's suite for what could have been the hundredth time. At this point, she had lost count. It was never easy to bring herself to summon him. Walking past the threshold of his door symbolized submission; it reminded her that he was in control of the situation. She hated that. Eun Sang hated that she couldn't afford to ignore him. She did not want to live her life miserably for the remainder of what was left of it. She wanted a better future, not just for herself, but also for her mother. Seeing how hard she had to work as a maid in Tan's home, how often she had to throw away her pride for their security, made Eun Sang aware that she couldn't disregard her mother's sacrifice. If her mother could bear the burden of their situation, the least Eun Sang could do was bear the weight of her own troubles with equal resilience.

Taking a deep breath, she rung the bell. Perhaps Young Do wouldn't be there. It wasn't like it hadn't happened before. Young Do's father, Choi Dong Wook, was a very demanding man. A man who arranged Young Do's schedule to his convenience. There had been times when Young Do had left mid meal to answer to Dong Wook. He never verbally admitted how much it bothered him to have to yield to his father's capricious whims. In his eyes, however, Eun Sang could clearly see just how much resentment Young Do harbored for him.

_Just as I resent the Chairman…_

She closed her eyes, hoping that tonight it would be one of those times in which Young Do was not there. She was too exhausted to humor him.

Young Do opened the door. He smiled in his usual cocky way. He was a boy who knew that he had the bull by the horns and he loved to make sure she was privy to his satisfaction. Young Do could convey his feelings on his expressive face to the point where Eun Sang didn't need to hear him to know what he wanted. This time he made an exaggerated bow toward the interior of his suite, which showed his impatience at her hesitance.

She went inside rolling her eyes.

Dinner was already served, as usual. Young Do had managed to figure out what she liked, possibly by observing her eating habits at school, and arranged for those dishes to be prepared for her in an enticing arrangement. The first few times that she had come to him, Eun Sang would not eat. She found it impossible to share a meal with someone as detestable as him. Young Do was gracious enough to not force the food down her throat, or throw it at her – as he so often did with other kids he liked to play with. Eventually she poked the food and ate because hunger overpowered her pride.

He pulled out the chair for her with typical mockery. Everything he did was like a joke – it was a provocation. To get a rise out of her, or make her blush, or to get her to respond to him in _some_ way. This seemed to please him. He liked when she paid attention to him. Young Do seemed hell bent on having her acknowledge him.

Eun Sang sat and picked up her chopsticks without delay. She dove right into the food without waiting for him. If he was blackmailing her for being "welfare" then she would show him how lacking in manners her social class could be.

Young Do chuckled. His amusement made her angry.

_I don't want to make you laugh._

He took a seat across from her and watched her for a long while. Young Do loved to watch her. He never even tried to dissimulate his interest whenever she caught him staring.

"Aren't you hungry?"

He leaned back into the chair and crossed his arms. He bit his lip and smiled, as if she'd said something incredibly funny. "I think it's the first time you've worried for me."

Eun Sang raised a brow at him. "That's not why I asked."

Young Do's smile widened. "You can't let me fantasize even this much?"

In the months that had passed since she had started coming to him, Eun Sang learned that his sense of humor was wicked. She had found him excessive, even annoying. He always said he was interested in her, that he wanted her to become his flower – those were words which had always bothered her. They implied that his expectations were of a nature which Eun Sang was unwilling to fulfill.

And he always smiled when he teased her.

_Even so… right now…_

Something had changed. He still angered her. He still made her uneasy. Eun Sang just wasn't sure that the reasons why he stirred her so profoundly were the same as before. She was too scared to dig and find a response she wouldn't like.

"What?" He scoffed. "Are you running out of things to say? You've always been good at arguing."

"I don't want to argue."

This seemed to surprise him. "So should we have a serious conversation tonight then?"

"If it's about Tan—"

The humor drained from his face. "I told you not to talk about him."

"I thought Rachel might have told you—"

"She did tell me."

He leaned forward. When he looked at her so invasively it reminded Eun Sang why she had once been scared of sitting near him. Of why she should never be comfortable around him. He could be a terrifyingly intimidating boy if he proposed himself to be.

"I can trust you by now, can't I?" His voice was derisive. "You don't want me to tell the kids about your mother, or circumstance. You don't want to be caught up in a scandal with me, do you?"

She clenched her teeth. "I'm here aren't I?"

"Will there ever be a day when you come to me without needing an incentive?"

"Then do you think there will ever be a day when you won't need to give _incentives _to have people come to you?"

Young Do smiled. He snapped his fingers and pointed at her, looking very pleased. "That's my Cha Eun Sang. Always quick to argue back."

_I'm **not **yours._

The sound of the doorbell startled her. Young Do rolled his eyes and glanced toward the door. By the frown on his face it seemed that he knew who was standing on the other side. He didn't make a move to answer.

Eun Sang set her chopsticks down. "Am I supposed to get that?"

"If I open the door I will be showing you something you'll regret seeing."

Eun Sang doubted anything could make her regret more than she already did. With a sigh, she replied. "I think I've seen the worst."

"Should I take that as a challenge?" He glared at her. "Do you really want to see a monster?"

He didn't let her respond. Young Do stood and went to the door. Eun Sang took a deep breath, thankful for the interruption. She just hoped it wasn't Rachel. The last thing Eun Sang needed was to be further humiliated by another insolent heir.

She heard someone shouting – a man, older, by the sound of it. He was demanding an excuse of Young Do for not going to a dinner party. Young Do retorted that he was busy. There was a scuffle and then a shorter, middle aged man stormed into the suite. His eyes swept over her as though she were an insect that required extermination.

"Get out," he hissed.

Eun Sang started.

"Didn't you hear me?" His voice was like acid. "Get out now!"

Eun Sang scrambled to get her book bag when Young Do held her arm. He pulled her to his side. "I told you I was busy, _father_."

Eun Sang's eyes widened. She hadn't seen Choi Dong Wook in person or even in photos. He never went to Jeguk when Young Do got in trouble; he always sent his secretary. Eun Sang had heard bad things about him from Chan Young.

_So this is the man who treats his son like nothing more than an employee on a strict, binding schedule. _ _A man you don't want to cross._

She tried to snatch her arm from Young Do but he only squeezed harder. He looked absolutely determined to defy his father. She whispered to him, "Don't do this."

"You punk!

Young Do shoved Eun Sang aside just in time before Dong Wook broke a punch square on his son's jaw.

"Do you want me to embarrass you in front of others?"

Dong Wook grabbed Young Do by the collar of his shirt and delivered a blow that sent him stumbling backward. Another punch. Eun Sang watched in horror, gasping into her hands, as Dong Wook slammed Young Do against the wall with such force that the frames shook.

Young Do licked his bleeding lip, his smile maniacal. "You're the one embarrassing yourself right now."

"Why you!"

His father yanked the buckle of his belt free and pulled it off his waist. Eun Sang watched as he whipped it at Young Do, slashing across his cheek. Young Do lifted an arm over his head, shielding his face, eyes finding Eun Sang's. When the belt came down again it slapped Young Do's back. He winced but never once cried out even though his father beat him with increasing vigor. Eun Sang felt the sting of tears when she finally recognized where the rage in Young Do's eyes came from.

Why did he take it? Was it out of respect? Or did it go worse if he defended himself?

Eun Sang knew she should have gone, that she should have run away, but she couldn't. Curling her fingers into fists, she shouted, "Please stop!"

Dong Wook was deaf to her words.

She ran toward the pair and got in the middle trying to catch the hand which held the belt. It was too late. The tip of it slashed across her chin, splitting her lip open. She swallowed back the cry. It stung so badly. Young Do lifted her face, eyes wide and wild. He growled at his father and moved to pounce but Eun Sang clung to his arm.

"He didn't mean to hit me," she whispered. "I was the one who stood in the way."

The man slid the belt back on, anger coloring his face. "Clean up quickly and meet me downstairs if you know what's best for you. I'm not letting this pass."

"You can sue him, you know," Young Do said with a feral smile. "I'll even testify."

"I'd like to see you try that." He angrily pointed at him. "You have five minutes. Don't make me come up here a second time."

Dong Wook walked away as though nothing had happened. Without even a single word of apology to her or even concern that she could indeed sue him, the man slammed the door shut leaving them in uncomfortable silence.

_He doesn't think I can sue him. He doesn't think anyone can bring him down. This is the world of these heirs – this is the power their crowns grant them._

Eun Sang felt Young Do trembling against her. Slowly, she lifted her head to look at him. He was glaring ahead. He was angry. Her eyes went to the gash at his cheek. Her eyes slid down to his torso. Beneath his sweater he had probably begun bruising. How many times had he gone to school with marks beneath his clothes? How many of the scuffs she'd seen on his face had been caused by his father? How much longer would he have beat Young Do if she hadn't been there to stop him?

His voice was hoarse. "Don't you dare look at me like that."

"Like how?"

"With pity."

"I don't pity you," she lied.

"I can hear the pity in your voice." He pushed her away. "I didn't let you see this to have your pity."

"Then why?"

He looked at her. "So you could see there are worse people you can be forced to eat with."

Eun Sang stared at him.

"Get out."

"Where's your first aid kit?"

"I said get out!" He shouted. "I can't stand you looking at me like that."

She didn't know why she reached out to touch his face. He flinched away from her, slapping her hand aside. Who had bandaged him before? Who had nursed his wounds in the past? The pain in his eyes told her that this hadn't been a rare incident.

_Who has protected you?_

He didn't have a mother to care for him, as Eun Sang had hers when she had been hurt. Did Young Do even have friends who knew how harshly he was treated?

"You're not getting out?"

"If you really wanted me to go you would have thrown me out."

He turned to her. "Should I do that then?"

Eun Sang couldn't look away. This was a boy who showed no consideration for other people's tragedies just like no one showed any for his. He was someone who had never received love, so how could he give it? She was surprised that he was even capable of showing the bits of compassion she had seen in him.

Eun Sang moved toward his bathroom. She'd seen a first aid kit beneath the sink the last time she had been looking for toilet paper.

Young Do held her wrist.

She glanced at him.

He gently swiped the blood away from her quivering lips. His jaw clenched.

"Stupid. Didn't you learn anything from your time at Jeguk? You don't ever stand in front of the bully."

"I couldn't let you continue to get hurt."

"Are we even friends?"

"I would have done the same for an enemy."

"You're a terrible liar."

"If you know the answer then why do you ask?"

He bit his lower lip, staring intently into her eyes. "Is that why you came to me the first time? To protect a friend?"

"Isn't that the reason why you used Moon Joon Young? Because you knew I would protect a friend?"

"Can't you ever answer any of my questions without one of your own?"

"I'm going to get the first aid kit."

"Don't you have to go to work?"

Eun Sang looked at her wristwatch.

_Damn it… I'll be late _ _at this rate._

"I'll take you."

"Your father is—"

"I don't give a damn about my father. If he's going to crucify me it won't matter if I act out one more time."

"Is he going to hurt you?"

He cracked a smile. "Now are you worrying for me, Cha Eun Sang?"

* * *

Eun Sang felt like a thief, sneaking through the staff areas of Zeus Hotel with Young Do. He wanted to exit through one of the service doors. She was surprised that Dong Wook hadn't placed body guards at all the exits to keep Young Do from running away. Was he so confident that his son wouldn't disobey him?

"Ya, Cha Eun Sang. Pay attention."

When he held out a helmet for her to wear, Eun Sang hesitated. She had never ridden on a motorcycle and she wasn't sure she wanted her first experience to be with someone as reckless as Young Do.

"How is your bike here?"

"I have some allies within my father's network."

She didn't move.

"You won't fall off if you hold on tight."

How could he still make jokes after what had happened? Eun Sang was still shaken by the incident. She could still hear Dong Wook's curses in her head, the sound of the belt breaking against Young Do…

He tapped her forehead, pushing her head back. "Ya! I thought you worked because you need money. Do you want to get fired?"

Eun Sang took the helmet and put it on. She climbed onto the bike and grabbed him by his sweater. Young Do snatched her hands off and pulled her arms to wrap around his slender waist.

"I thought I told you that you'd fall off if you don't hold onto me tight."

Before she could protest, they were off, curving dangerously at the corner. Eun Sang clung to him, feeling completely vulnerable to the way the bike moved to the inclination of his body. He went faster than allowed because each time he decreased speed, Eun Sang would loosen her hold. She knew he wanted to make her hold him tightly; he loved to make her do things she didn't want to.

When they arrived at Mango Six, Eun Sang quickly got off. She handed the helmet back to him. He'd already taken his off. She bowed out of habit, feeling queasy after such exhilaration. Just as she was about to turn to leave, Young Do grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him. She thought he was yanking her to say some stupid, threatening words, like "Don't you dare tell anyone what you saw."

Instead, Eun Sang found herself coming flush against his body. Ther lips met by his manipulation. His hand moved to the small of her back, the other one curving her cheek. His tongue ran the edge of her lips. She gasped in shock at his boldness. He smiled against her mouth and deepened the kiss.

Her heart beat ten times faster than it had when she'd been on his motorcycle. Eun Sang had never been kissed that way. She pushed at his chest and he bit her in retaliation, right on the spot where Dong Wook's belt had split her lip open. She yelped in pain and pulled away from him. The taste of blood made her sick.

"That's because I want you to think of me instead of my father when you feel the pain."

She gaped at him. "You're insane."

"And you didn't slap me."

"Should I hit you now?"

She lifted a hand threateningly.

He caught her wrist easily. "Do you want me to deepen that bruise?"

Eun Sang snatched her arm away. "I'm going."

He winked at her. "See you at dinner tomorrow, Cha Eun Sang."


	2. I Can't Afford To Be

Eun Sang found it difficult to explain to her worried mother why her chin and lips were bruised. She had come up with an elaborate story about tripping off the bus which her mother hadn't believed. It wasn't helpful that her cheeks went aflame each time she thought back on _how_ she had gotten bruised. Even though she would never be able to forget how terrifying Dong Wook was – Eun Sang could only think of his son, and how he had kissed her. Bitten her. _Tasted_ her. Her mother became so concerned with her flushes that she checked for fever. If only her mother knew that her illness was called Choi Young Do – and there was no cure for it. Just as he intended, whenever the wound throbbed painfully, Eun Sang could only think about him. Of the way his lips melted hers with blazing warmth in a way no other kiss had compared.

Her heart galloped wildly against all logical reason which screamed that she should not feel so delirious about Young Do. She couldn't possibly like him. Or want him. Eun Sang wasn't the type of girl to be shaken by boys so easily, especially bad ones. Young Do was a jerk; a bully who enjoyed forcing her to sustain a strange relationship with him. She pushed him out of her mind every time he slipped into her thoughts. He returned, over and over. He had even managed to slither his way into her dreams, turning them into nightmares that even dream catchers would not be able to filter out.

The next morning she woke with aching exhaustion deep in every muscle. She had hardly managed to sleep. With a more pressing desire to avoid being spotted by Tan that particular morning, Eun Sang left for school earlier than she had ever gone before. Tan was too observant, his gaze always lingered on her. His behavior was still possessive. As if she still owed him explanations. To see her bruised or even shaken – it would make him relentlessly question her. Eun Sang was supposed to avoid Tan. It was expected that she should not draw his attention, that she should live as quietly as possible. It was the Chairman's request; a petition which was in reality a very dangerous threat. She was being sponsored by him. He was rewarding her for having the sense to realize that Tan was too high an aspiration for her. He was giving her what he deemed she could aspire to; a chance at a better life. A life that didn't include his son.

Tan resented her for the choice she had made.

At school Eun Sang ignored the gossiping whispers. Why was she bruised? Who had beat her up? Had it been Young Do? Was he hitting girls now? It was no secret to anyone at Jeguk High that she was Young Do's toy. A toy that he could only play with. People feared him enough that they did not meddle with her. She had gone from being the mistress who tore Tan and Rachel's engagement, to Young Do's play thing.

_To them I'm just an opportunist._

She held herself with poise as she walked into the classroom. Tan's eyes immediately landed on her – narrowing at her appearance. Eun Sang glanced at Young Do. He was leaning back in his chair staring at her with a ghost of a smirk. He fished out his cellphone and punched a few keys. He raised a brow and nodded toward her pocket.

She felt the vibration. Sighing, she pulled out her phone and read.

[Should we have gotten matching bandages?]

Eun Sang quickly glanced at him.

His smile widened.

He reminded her of a predator — one who liked to play with its prey before going for the kill. He seemed happy, as if sharing bruises was endearing.

_You're crazy._

She looked away.

People were watching them. Everyone seemed fascinated by Young Do's strange courtship. To those kids it was an entertaining melodrama to watch Young Do mess with her. She knew that Tan was watching them as well. He always did – like a hawk. Taking a deep breath, Eun Sang pulled out her notebook and pencil. The teacher went on and on about fictional characters in literary works, jotting down key points on the board.

Her cell phone vibrated again.

She ignored it.

It vibrated again.

Eun Sang gripped her pencil tightly. She couldn't give in. She knew that it was Young Do, that he was pushing her to do what he wanted. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of teasing her through text in the middle of class. She wanted to have control of at least that much. Eun Sang needed to show him that school was sacred to her and that nothing he threatened her with would ever change that.

Exams were around the corner and she had to improve her average if she even dreamed of getting a scholarship abroad. She wanted to earn it without the Chairman's influence. The only thought that kept her going was having the chance to study overseas — away from everyone and everything that caused her so much misery.

_And when I come back mother and I can start anew. Away from this world._

Chan Young had taken it upon himself to work as a pseudo-tutor to help her with studying. Bo Na, inseparable from her boyfriend, had become a good friend to Eun Sang. She had gifted her bonus books that would compliment their curriculum. Even Hyo Shin had offered to help her after seeing her earnest desire to better herself academically. She couldn't disappoint those who had taken out time to help her. She couldn't fall back.

A chair moved noisily behind her. She knew his footsteps by heart, and felt his presence looming over her. Young Do dipped low, tucking her hair behind her ear and whispered. "I apologize for your dark circles."

She felt him smile against her cheek, gingerly brushing past her lips, as he pulled away. He walked to the front of the class and slapped a note on the teacher's desk. The woman turned abruptly to scowl at her problematic student. Young Do shrugged and leaned against her desk folding his arms across his chest. He stared past Eun Sang, his feral smile triumphant.

Eun Sang glanced over her shoulder to see Tan snap his pencil in half.

"Because I was in a fight with a very _vicious _cat," Young Do explained, his eyes sliding toward Eun Sang mischievously. "I am in no condition to be in class today."

Everyone murmured among themselves. Were they lovers? Did they do wild things together? How dirty were they? The assumptions were endless in their ridiculousness. The teacher sighed. By the looks of it she didn't believe his father had written the note but she didn't seem inclined to question Young Do either. That was the difference between her and these heirs; the amount of money their parents invested at Jeguk determined how well they were treated, and how much the staff was willing to overlook their transgressions.

Her phone vibrated once more. This time Eun Sang pulled it out. The latest one was from Tan.

She opened it.

_[Don't you dare run away after this.]_

Eun Sang could barely focus on the lesson even after Young Do had made his exit. She could feel Tan's eyes boring into her like lasers. She had changed her mobile number various times. Tan always managed to acquire it. He was still unable to see the abyss between them. He still didn't understand that she was not interested in pursuing whatever had once sparked in California.

When class was over Eun Sang scrambled to gather her things and ran out before Tan could catch her. She sprinted down the hall but it was futile. Tan easily caught up to her, pulling her into one of the empty classrooms. She hoped to everything that no one had seen them. The last thing she needed were rumors about the two of them to spread and reach the principal. If news got to her then it would also get to the Chairman.

Tan pushed her against the wall. His eyes were full of jealous rage. He lifted her chin and she winced.

"Give me your phone."

When she didn't budge he dove into her pocket and snatched it out. She cursed herself for not changing the pass code he knew.

"What do you think you're doing?" She tried to take it back, but he was taller and kept it out of reach. "Give me back my phone! I thought I told you that—"

Tan scoffed, an angry scowl on his face. "_Those dark circles look awful on you._" He read the texts with sarcastic intonation, "_Was it the pain that kept you up or the memory of what caused it?_"

Eun Sang's memories flooded back.

"Why do you need matching bandages?"

Eun Sang jumped, trying to reach the phone. "Give it back!"

He shook her. "Did he hit you?"

"He didn't hit me."

"Then why are you injured?" Tan demanded, "Why is he? Did you hit him? Did he try to do something to you? I know you go to his hotel every day. Are you stupid? Are you crazy? Don't you know—"

"What is it to you? I told you to leave me alone!"

"Cha Eun Sang—"

Eun Sang felt her patience slip. "What am I going to do if your father finds out that you text me? Don't you know? He's going to kick us out! We have _nowhere_ to go. He's made sure that he's our only option for survival."

Tan's face twisted.

"Do you know why? To remind me that I can't even _look_ at you! Do I have to repeat it again? What will happen if you don't leave me alone? Why do you want to make me so pitiful?"

Tan cupped her cheek. "How can I stand by when he's hurting you, fool?"

A blinding flash and the sound of a camera going off made Eun Sang turn toward the door. Young Do was leaning casually against the frame with Myung Soo's camera in one hand and his cell phone in the other. It was evident he had photographed them with both. He was looking at the LCD of the dSLR nodding as a pleased photographer would after having captured a perfect shot.

His voice dripped with sarcasm. "What a touching reunion."

Tan exhaled a tired breath and squared himself in front of her, as if shielding her from subsequent photos that Young Do might take.

"The Chairman would be interested in seeing what his illegitimate son does with the daughter of the housekeeper, at the school he's sponsoring her to."

"You bastard—"

Eun Sang cut off his threat by pushing him aside and walking toward Young Do. She snatched the camera from his hand and deleted the photo.

"You don't need to show the Chairman something useless."

Young Do looked at her unconvinced.

"Erasing this photo—" He dangled his cellphone in front of her. "—is going to cost you, Cha Eun Sang. Should we discuss payment at my house? There is someone I would like you to meet. I think he would like you more than me."

Tan walked over to them and grabbed Young Do by the collar. "I'm going to kill you."

Young Do bit his lip with a pleasant smile as he turned to face Tan. "Who is going to pick her off the streets if you kill me?"

Eun Sang pushed Tan off Young Do by putting herself in between the two. Tan stared at her incredulously. Young Do wrapped one arm around her waist pulling her toward him in an obvious display of possessiveness that infuriated her. She felt like a toy being pulled and picked at by two spoiled brats who didn't even care about the toy as much as they did about winning it.

"I told you," Eun Sang said to Tan, "Leave me alone. I can take care of myself. I don't need you to keep interfering in my business. I don't want your father's attention. Can you get him off my back? Can you give my mother a job when your father closes all the doors for us? What can you possibly do for me that you find the courage to risk my life so easily? How many times must I change my number? I can't even call the police because you're untouchable, _young master_!"

Tan looked at her as though she had just jabbed him through the heart with a spear. His fists clenched at his side. Young Do chuckled quietly and watched over his shoulder as Tan walked out of the classroom more crestfallen than when Eun Sang had firmly ended things with him.

She was so tired of it all. Every day she had to wake up at an ungodly hour to get to school, to hide the fact she wasn't new money. Then she had to meet with Young Do, and go to work after having exhausted her wit to amuse him. Later, at Tan's estate, she had to somehow do her homework and study for finals while fetching wine for Tan's alcoholic mother. Sometimes she even fell asleep while doing homework.

This was her routine every single day, over and over.

How could her stupid heart have been moved by the kiss of the devil? She must have been out of her mind. She pushed Young Do away from her feeling the anger fuel her madness.

"I'm not going to meet with you anymore."

Young Do chuckled, as if her words had been a hilarious joke. As if he couldn't really believe she actually meant to break their agreement despite the consequences he often reminded her of. It was just like when his father had laughed at the thought _she – _an insect _– _could sue him for assault. Neither considered themselves vincible.

Eun Sang turned to him, feeling her heart flip painfully when she realized he was still laughing.

"Is that all I am to you? A joke? Is it funny to see that I can't sleep because I'm so worried about whether or not today will be the day you'll use the cards against me? Do you know how I live? Do you even care?"

His smile faltered. "Why are you being so serious? I wasn't planning on sending the photo. I just wanted to—"

"Piss Tan off. I know." The tears were an embarrassing sign of weakness but she couldn't stop them. She was bordering hysteria. "You always want to piss Tan off. Is that why you're using me? I told you. I can't afford to be the weapon in your war against him. Can't you even have an ounce of sympathy for my pathetic existence? Do I have to beg you? Do I have to kneel in front of you like Moon Joon Young?"

When he didn't answer, Eun Sang pursed her lips and began to lower herself. Young Do yanked her up. He swore furiously.

"Are you stupid?"

"Yes, I'm stupid. I'm stupid for thinking I could ever trust you. You're going to destroy me, aren't you? No matter what I do. In the end you'll use me to blow Tan up, even if I burn with him."

Young Do's jaw clenched. "Do you think this is why I'm doing it?"

She cried desperately, "Have you shown me any other reason?"

She grabbed his hand and placed it over her heart, not caring about whether it was appropriate or not. She had already lost all common sense.

"Do you see how terrified I am that the Chairman could see such a stupid picture? To you it was a joke but to me it was the cost of my stability. You may have your name and money to protect you but I have nothing, Choi Young Do. All I have is my word and I'm even lucky the Chairman put any value on the word of a poor bitch like me!"

"Don't you ever call yourself that," he hissed.

His face twisted with something close to remorse beneath the fury in his eyes. He looked at his hand, which she still held over her heart. Those eyes which often shone with bewitching evil were now luminous with emotions she would never associate with him.

"I don't know," his voice was hoarse. "I don't know how else to keep you at my side."

It was the last thing she expected him to say. The rawness of that confession took her completely off guard. She had expected some sassy comeback or even a dark threat. Something vicious and ugly, like the many words he'd thrown at her before.

Memories of the time he'd come to her work place, admitting his loneliness, filled her mind. Those were the times in which she didn't know what to make of him. Just who was the boy beneath the layers of roughness and psychotic cruelty?

He seemed surprised by his own admission, as if he couldn't believe the words had been uttered by his mouth. But he didn't pull them back. He didn't look away or hide the heart which was surfacing beneath all the thorns that covered it.

"You wouldn't come to me by your own will."

"Do you think I'll ever want to if you keep forcing me?"

"I don't want to find out that answer."

"I am not going to you anymore," she repeated firmly.

His lip quivered. "Don't make me become a bad guy, Cha Eun Sang. Not you."

Eun Sang closed her eyes, trying to ignore her frantic heart. He had never been a good guy to begin with. She wouldn't let him make her feel guilty for his bad behavior.

"People can't make you be someone you aren't willing to become, Choi Young Do."

Mustering all the courage she could pull together, Eun Sang brushed past him and walked out of the classroom knowing full well that the devil still had all the cards in his hand. He was capable of laying them all out.

Her whole body shook when her cell phone vibrated in her pocket. She knew Young Do was looking after her. Eun Sang pulled out the phone and saw his name on the caller ID. She made sure he knew that she was aware of his call and that even so she had chosen to do the next ridiculous thing.

_Even if for today. I'll take control of my own life_ _._

She dumped her phone in the nearest trash bin, knowing exactly what it would cost on every possible level. Eun Sang knew she would regret the decision she made that day, but she would worry about the consequences when they burned down her world.


	3. Do You Think It's Working?

At her part time job at Mango Six, Eun Sang called her mother and explained very briefly that she had lost her phone. She apologized many times, feeling burdened by the lie. That brief moment of satisfaction over being in control of the situation had fueled a hope that she could handle whatever Young Do chose to retaliate with. That bravado had deflated as quickly as it had inflated when she considered how cruel and manipulative he could be. He was the type of person who answered to provocation in unexpected ways. His unpredictability made him all the more lethal as an enemy. She never knew what he was thinking or why he was driven to the actions he usually took. He was a mystery wrapped with dynamite; to solve it would undoubtedly end in a fatal explosion.

At the end of the day she was but a tiny fish in a tank full of sharks.

When the Chairman had found out about her lingering relationship with Tan he had presented two options. He made sure that only one of those options — the one most convenient to him — sounded appealing. The Chairman gave her a glimpse of the world which would open to her if she chose the wisest path. With equal vividness he had described the world he would make for her should she choose incorrectly. It was a world that she knew Tan would not survive through. A world she didn't want to live in. The Chairman knew his power and he didn't show restraint in willingness to demonstrate just how far his hand could reach.

_Tan has somewhere to come back to. You do not._

That was how she had become Jeguk Group's secret charity case. She was to show her benefactor that his investment was worthwhile. The Chairman expected her to be thankful, dependent — so that even glancing at Tan would feel like betrayal of his generosity.

Tan promised to follow her wherever she went.

Which meant that Eun Sang couldn't even leave Korea. Not yet. The Chairman expected her to ensure that Tan didn't run after her. The burden of making him desist, of making him hate her — the Chairman had dumped it on her. There would be consequences if she didn't do well.

Her mother's pay would be reduced.

They would be forced to move out.

Her scholarship would cease to exist.

_Keep quiet. Keep your name out of people's mouth. Do your best. I will reward your effort. I will give you the key to open doors you could only dream of. Be wise. And cooperative._

"Cha Eun Sang!" Her boss called. "Are you slacking off?"

She realized she'd been mopping the same spot for a while. She turned to the manager and apologized. It was near closing time. As she swept the mop by the front of the establishment, she looked out. Young Do's motorcycle was parked by the curb. She set the mop aside and poked her head out the door. He wasn't outside.

She hadn't expected that he would leave her alone. Eun Sang had known he'd come for her. She had just hoped that he would have at least give her one day — one night.

"I'm right here."

She whirled around. Young Do pushed her outside, blocking the entrance. He raised a brow at her, clearly unimpressed.

"I've been sitting in there for twenty minutes. Either you really can't see me or you were thinking quite deeply about something terrifying. I took a picture."

He pulled out his cellphone to show her the photograph. She looked downright horrible.

"I'll use it to scare kids later."

"If you waited this long can you wait a bit more?" She sighed. "I'm almost off work. Threaten me all you want then."

Young Do gave her a half smile. "Thinking the worst of me until the very end, Cha Eun Sang?"

"Have you given me anything better to think?"

He raised his brows at her, feeling challenged. "Should I start doing so now?"

From his pocket, Young Do pulled her cellphone. He held it out to her. It was spotless.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Am I laughing?"

"Why did you take it back? It changes nothing. You can call me as many times as you want and I won't pick up."

He gave her a look. "Do you have to throw your phone away for that? Can't you just ignore my call as usual? I thought you needed this."

"I doubt you took it thinking of my needs."

He clenched his jaw. "Do you think I took it for my benefit? Can you really see nothing else in me but that?"

"Can you blame me?" Her voice was louder than intended. "What does it mean if I take it back?"

"For one, you can continue to deliver fried chicken. Isn't that your job tomorrow?" His light tone returned making her feel even more disconcerted. He could be so mercurial. "Secondly, I wanted to block Tan's number for you—"

She gaped at him. "You looked through my phone? How? I have a passcode."

He didn't answer that. Instead he said, "Your mother texted a million times cursing at the thief. Did you tell her someone stole your phone? I called her back to explain a friend found it but she didn't even talk to me."

Eun Sang blanched.

"She just tapped the phone."

Eun Sang walked up to him, ready to take her phone, but as soon as she grabbed it Young Do placed his other hand over hers. He gave her a small smile that didn't light his eyes.

"Trapped."

Eun Sang looked at her hand caught in his. His words weren't inaccurate; he had her trapped in many ways. In ways that she resented and even in ways that made her scared. He was too smart, too observant. And his next words proved just how much.

"A mother who never calls you but only texts. A mother who can curse through words but not by mouth. A mother her daughter fiercely protects."

Eun Sang clenched her hand into a fist, feeling defeated. Was there somewhere in the world where she could hide so these people wouldn't play with her life so easily?

"How much do you already know?"

"Cha Eun Sang," he whispered. "Look at me."

She refused to cry in front of him a second time in one day. Biting her lip furiously, Eun Sang lifted her head. What she saw, however, took her completely off guard — just like his confession had at school. All humor had drained from his face. There was a crack in his armor of arrogance which let her see something she never had before: remorse.

"I wanted to hold this." His eyes fell to their hands. "To hold this hand I made empty threats."

"What?"

His eyes flickered to hers. "I just wanted to eat with someone I liked. I wanted to talk with someone who didn't mind who I was." He paused, his jaw tight. "But I chose a person who doesn't mind me even in the measure necessary to have a conversation, much less a meal."

Eun Sang started. His eyes were reddened by emotions so raw that she physically felt them crashing against her like violent waves.

"To you, eating with me must have felt like what I feel when I eat with my father." His smile was a very sad one. "The person I resent most in this world. I used his methods to be close to the one I like most. And now you hate me."

She looked down at his hands. It was so cold outside that he was trembling. His jacket was thin, hardly heavy enough to buffer the chilling breeze. Even she felt rattled to the bone.

"You can't even look at me." He sounded very disappointed. "No matter how sincere my words are. You don't believe them. Who must say them for you to believe me?"

Her heart was racing faster than when she had ridden on his motorcycle. Why was he able to shake her up so badly? He managed to rile the most passionate emotions in her. Just hours ago she had hated him. She hated the way he made her feel like a toy, she hated the way he regarded her pain as a joke. She hated herself for not being able to forget the way he had kissed her. She hated to realize that she had liked it.

"I just wanted to know you, Cha Eun Sang."

She felt light headed.

"Do you hate me that much?"

It wasn't hatred what made it so difficult to look at him at that very moment.

"I need to get back to work." She tried to pull her cell phone out of his hand. "Please."

For a moment his grip on her hand tightened. She gathered enough courage to look at him. The boy who stared back at her wasn't the same boy who mockingly coerced her to do his will. He wasn't the boy who sarcastically called the people he terrorized his "friends."

The person standing before her was vulnerable, hurt. He was human. And he was real. He was letting her see a side of him which he worked so hard to hide from everyone else. A side of him that his despot father had tried to beat out of him because he deemed it useless.

_I don't hate you…_

She couldn't even bring herself to utter those words. They shocked her to silence because she could have sworn that hate was all her heart could contain for him. The knot in her throat made it difficult to swallow. Even breathing was painful. He was looking at her so earnestly, so openly. With expectation of something that she couldn't quite give him.

This was a boy who was trying to apologize when he didn't even know how. When he had probably never needed to apologize to anyone. When he was probably taught that apologies were unnecessary from a man who seemed unable to be sorry about anything he did.

This is the boy you took a blow for, Eun Sang.

"I see."

Young Do let go of her hand. He drew in a ragged breath and stepped aside, away from the door. He dug his hands into the pockets of his pants and sniffled. His lips were so pale that she wondered if he'd caught a cold.

"Don't look at me like that." His voice was so deep. He seemed to perk up a little, the layers of confidence falling back like curtains. "It makes it harder for me to do this."

Eun Sang finally found her voice. "Do what?"

"Watch you walk inside. Leaving. Not coming back. I can't do those things if you look at me like that."

She stared, incredulous. "You're letting this go?"

"You weren't expecting that." The corner of his lip twitched upward. The pain still shone in his eyes. "You don't even believe me capable of this much."

Eun Sang couldn't hide her surprise.

"I guess the order will need to change." His grin was so obviously forced. "I'll leave first. You can watch me go."

Young Do pushed himself forward, walking at his usual pace, in his usual way. He got on his motorcycle, put the helmet over his head, and drove off. Not once did he look at her, or hesitate. Not once did he linger.

Eun Sang hadn't even said goodbye. And she realized then that she had never said goodbye before. She had always been the first to go, to hang up, to turn her back on him. It didn't strike her until then just how painful that could be.

* * *

Eun Sang spent the next weeks studying hard for midterms. When she wasn't at work she spent her time at the library with Chan Young and Bo Na. It had been the quietest time she'd had in a very long time. Young Do hadn't called her again, in fact, he deleted himself from her contacts. It wasn't that he ignored her; he still looked at her and acknowledged her when she was in the room. He'd simply stopped going to her. He stopped seeking her.

She found herself looking over her shoulder a lot. He used to come up to her, snatching her books from inside her locker, and carrying them to class for her. At the cafeteria he no longer stole her plate to put it at his table so she'd sit with him. She no longer heard his small talk over lunch or felt him kick her under the table when she ignored his commentary. He no longer took food from her plate to make her look at him. Young Do had stopped having lunch at the cafeteria altogether.

People talked. Why weren't they together? What had happened between them? Eun Sang hadn't realized just how much time they had shared until then. She'd often look to her side, expecting to see him there, only to find no one. She should have felt relief. This was what she had always wanted. She should have been content with the blissful monotony. Instead she felt empty, even anxious. Her eyes kept drifting away, searching for him in the halls, expecting him around the corners.

Bo Na poked her arm. "Don't you dare space out on the test today. With all the help we've given you I expect you to jump ten spots."

"Then you're jumping ten spots too?" Eun Sang teased. "We've been studying the same thing."

Bo Na slapped her arm. "Hey! I'm not the one who needs to rank higher."

Eun Sang forced a laugh. "I thought you wanted your name to be close to Chan Young's. Weren't you jealous that Yoo Rachel's name is always next to his?"

Bo Na frowned. "You're right. I hate seeing anyone else's name next to his. I'll work hard to steal that second spot. Don't you think even our names look good together?"

Eun Sang just smiled. She had never been close with another girl before. The two of them walked together to class every day and often left school together too. Bo Na had even gone as far as saying she wished Eun Sang moved to her neighborhood, even though it was an impossibility. She often invited Eun Sang for sleepovers and talked endlessly about things which made Eun Sang's heart lighten. Bo Na was sunny and hopeful; she was everything Eun Sang had once been.

"Let's ace this test!" Bo Na said in English, as they entered the classroom.

Surprisingly, Young Do was already there.

"Wow!" Bo Na said, passing by her friend to take a seat at her desk. "Coming in so early to take a test. Are you sick?"

Young Do gave her a look and crossed his arms. He leaned back lazily, stretching his long legs underneath the desk and placing his feet on the chair in front.

"Just worry about your boyfriend."

Bo Na scoffed. "Why? Everyone knows he will get first, as usual." She smiled and clasped her hands together cutely. "He's smart, handsome, and kind. The perfect boyfriend."

"Don't make him sound so irresistible," Young Do scolded teasingly. "It makes me want to steal him from you."

Eun Sang smiled at the way Bo Na threateningly raised her hand at Young Do. "Don't you even look his way."

"But he's so handsome," Young Do smirked. "There's jewels in my eyes when I see him."

"I'll make you see jewels for another reason," Bo Na threw a pencil at him.

Young Do glanced at Eun Sang. "You plan to stand behind me like a pole? Do you want to copy off me?"

"She wants to improve her score," Bo Na deadpanned. "Not make it worse."

Young Do smiled widely at his friend, and then looked over at Eun Sang. "I'll ask again. Do you want to copy off me?"

"I'd score higher filling the same answers than copying from you."

Eun Sang moved to sit at her desk. It was the longest conversation they'd had since he'd left her life. It felt strange to fall back into banter with him.

Young Do chuckled behind her.

* * *

A few days later, Bo Na dragged Eun Sang all through the hallways, up the stairs, and to the announcement board. Chan Young ran behind them. There was a small crowd gathered, as usual. Their classmates were pointing at the list with shocked expressions. Bo Na pushed her way through, pulling Eun Sang and Chan Young with surprising strength. Eun Sang's eyes started at the top, expecting to see her best friend's name, but he hadn't ranked first.

"What the hell is this?" Bo Na shouted.

She caught herself and placed a hand over her mouth, muttering an apology to her boyfriend.

From behind Eun Sang, a hand reached out to point at her name. She had ranked forty-second, exactly ten spots higher than her previous attempt. She felt his breath by her ear. "I think you should have copied off me."

_Choi Young Do…_

Bo Na smacked his arm angrily. "How the hell did you rank first?"

"I find your shock offensive, Lee Bo Na." Young Do placed a hand on his chest. "You're inflicting wounds on my heart with such an expression."

Chan Young, who was surprised, but not disappointed looked at Young Do. "Congratulations. I'm impressed."

Young Do chuckled and leaned over to Bo Na. "My plan to steal him has started."

She slapped his arm again and pulled Chan Young close to her, hugging his arm tight. Her boyfriend just smiled and pinched her cheeks.

"Don't worry. He's not my type."

Bo Na stomped her foot. "This isn't funny anymore."

Their classmates congratulated Young Do, showering him with praises. He seemed completely disinterested in their flattery.

"How come you're putting effort in studying now?" Bo Na asked, still clearly upset that Chan Young had ranked second.

Young Do glanced at Eun Sang.

"There is someone I want to impress by showing them I can do what they think me incapable of. I've become quite determined in this matter." Young Do smiled at his friend. "Do you think it's working?"

Bo Na looked at Eun Sang. Chan Young also caught Young Do's meaning, glancing at her dubiously. Neither had really questioned why Young Do had stopped hanging around her, probably thinking he'd become bored with her.

Young Do turned around to face her completely. "Then I'll ask Cha Eun Sang."

She was used to him looking at her that way yet it was the first time that Eun Sang found herself incapable of looking away from Young Do. At that very moment, he was all she could see.

"Do _**you**_ think it's working?"


	4. A Deeper Meaning

Bo Na pulled Eun Sang into the broadcasting room. Hyo Shin gave them a sharp look. Bo Na muttered an apology and took a seat next to Ye Sol who, as usual, glared pointedly at Eun Sang. She wondered why the girl seemed so viciously determined to be mean or uncooperative with her. Eun Sang had never done anything to upset her. With a sigh, Eun Sang took a seat by Hyo Shin, hanging her book bag on the back of the chair. The broadcasting room was one of the few places at Jeguk High where she didn't feel marginalized.

"You two don't even give me an excuse as to why we've been waiting for fifteen minutes." Hyo Shin never sounded upset — even if his words were meant as a reproach. "What is the world coming to when people can't even respect their seniors?"

"Sorry!" Bo Na frowned. "We're still recovering from shock."

Ye Sol turned to her friend. "Did something happen?"

Bo Na was still very upset. "Choi Young Do, that brat. He got first place."

Hyo Shin's expression was curious instead of surprised. He always seemed to take things in stride, with almost unsettling calm.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Ye Sol smiled proudly. "He's always been smart."

Bo Na tilted her head to the side, as if not quite convinced of the truth in Ye Sol's statement. "Whether smart or not— he's never cared to show it."

Bo Na glanced at Eun Sang.

And she remembered, how Young Do had looked at her then, the way he'd asked her if she was impressed. Eun Sang had been. She hadn't expected that he was capable of doing so well— that he was failing on purpose. She'd thought he was a rebel; an irresponsible fool who didn't want to study.

Their senior cleared his throat and pinned a glare on Bo Na, then at Eun Sang. "To keep marvelling at Young Do's amazing feat is not why we are gathered here. I have some upsetting news to share."

Ye Sol sighed. "They want to eliminate the broadcasting club."

"What?" Bo Na gasped indignant. "What do you mean eliminate us?"

"Merge us, actually." Hyo Shin said. "With the film club."

Bo Na exhaled in relief.

"That would be better for us. We'd have more opportunities to produce exciting content. Can you imagine all the things we could do, senior? Especially you. You love film."

Ye Sol nodded in wholehearted agreement.

Hyo Shin smiled but his annoyance made his lip twitch. It was the first time that Eun Sang had noticed him upset about something.

"Spoken like the heiress of Mega Entertainment, Lee Bo Na." He sighed. "My problem is their approach. That they think we've been a waste. I'd like to think we haven't been here playing around. We've done important projects, haven't we?"

"But if it was already decided—"

"That's the problem. This is a test. We only get merged if we pass the test. If not, we just get removed." Hyo Shin glanced at everyone. "They want us to produce something that proves we haven't been wasting our time, and their money, in this club. We will be graded for our efforts, and surprisingly for twenty-five percent of our average."

"What?" Bo Na gasped. "Twenty five percent?"

Hyo Shin glanced at Eun Sang as if he knew more than he was telling. She looked at him trying to decipher what he wanted to say. Why she felt like he was telling her to stay strong. And then she saw it. It was the same look she'd seen in his eyes when he had come to know, by Tan, about her predicament.

_The Chairman._

"They're trying to teach us something," Hyo Shin went on to say. "In the real world when something doesn't produce results it is either cut off or merged to something which will salvage the investment."

Eun Sang looked around the room. The equipment, the operation costs — it all had to be high. The Chairman wanted them to pay with what they couldn't afford to lose. He wanted them to feel the loss he had felt in his wallet.

_No. He wants you to feel the loss. You're the one who needs a better grade average._

"We have a month to come up with a project. Plan it. Produce it. And then take it live."

_The strongest have the power. The weak can't do anything to stop the strong._

"The school board won't be grading us. Neither will the teachers. They just have to approve our program."

Eun Sang looked at Hyo Shin. "Then who determines our grade?"

"The audience."

"What?" Bo Na was mad. "I can't believe this."

"So it has to be something that not just the school board approves," Ye Sol said. "It also has to be something that will appeal to everyone in Jeguk High. What can that possibly be? Even though our club has gotten awards for past programs — those were granted by the school board. By adults who saw value in the content we produced. Like the interviews with high profile businessmen, the charities and causes we raised awareness to. Things we all know don't _really_ interest any of the kids."

"That's exactly what we have to come up with. An engaging, exciting feature. If we're going to go out, we might as well do so with flames."

Ye Sol crossed her arms. "We should just admit our uselessness and beg—"

"If you considered us so useless," Hyo Shin's smile was sweet. "Maybe you should have considered another club."

Bo Na pointed at Ye Sol. "No defeated talk is allowed from this moment on."

"There is no room for negativity here," Hyo Shin said. "You don't understand that this is more than a grade. Every single club, elective, or class we have ever taken is on our record. This is Jeguk High— our records are like resumes. A failure like this is a blemish. This is my last year here. I refuse to leave in disgrace."

Ye Sol looked away.

"It seems very unfair that our grades will be dependent on the kids," Eun Sang said with slight anger. "They don't understand what—"

"We are a broadcasting club, Eun Sang." Hyo Shin explained "What does any radio station need to keep afloat? A loyal, satisfied fan base. Don't you understand what they are trying to teach us with this?"

"Business," Bo Na said. "We may produce great content but if no one will listen to it then it's useless. And what is useless gets cancelled."

Hyo Shin nodded. "No matter how great a show is— if the ratings are poor— it won't stay afloat. It's considered a failure. They are trying to make us prove that we haven't been a waste of money. They want us to prove that we are worthy of a merger to a club that has done exceptionally well without us."

_Plucking the weed. That's what the Chairman is doing._

"With all that in mind." Hyo Shin looked at them. "Does anyone have ideas to contribute?"

Eun Sang had always lived at margin. She had never taken on burdens voluntarily, only bearing the weight of those imposed on her by fate. This was no different in that sense. She hadn't sought this challenge — it had been thrown at her. All her life she had never dared to hope, to dream beyond a few seconds, of what she wanted to do. She never spoke of what she wanted because it was futile to desire anything.

They wanted to step on her, to show her that she was nothing under the pressure of those far above her. The Chairman wanted to make an example out of her. This was the world she was tangled in.

_Let's go out in flames…_

"What if we did a radio drama?" Eun Sang suggested. "They are wanting to merge us with the film department if we do well, right? If we can make an entertaining show I think we will prove we are worthy of the merger."

Hyo Shin smiled at her.

"A radio drama?" Ye Sol rolled her eyes. "Do you see how many of us are here? How could we possibly accomplish that?"

"We would need to write a story," Hyo Shin said. "Can anyone write?"

"Even if anyone could," Ye Sol interjected. "Who would act? Can a story be carried by just the four of us?"

"I can write," Eun Sang volunteered.

She had never written anything in her life beyond what was required of her at school. Eun Sang, however, had always been plagued by ideas. Every time she saw movies she imagined how different _she_ would have done things— how the endings could have been different. She was confident that she could piece together a compelling story with all those random pieces which had always floated in the back of her mind. Perhaps she was not any good as a writer, perhaps the story would turn out to be a disaster, but she wasn't going to let hopelessness defeat her.

If the Chairman wanted to play, she would play her best. Every pawn could be crowned in Checkers. The Chairman didn't understand that she had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

"Do you not understand, Cha Eun Sang?" Ye Sol scoffed. "We don't have enough people."

Bo Na perked with a thought. "We can find volunteers."

Hyo Shin nodded. "The only problem is that whoever joins us will get graded with us."

"No one is going to want to risk it!" Ye Sol insisted. "We can't do it."

"Ya! Kang Ye Sol! Are you going to continue to be like this?" Bo Na chided. "Don't you know who I am? I will hold the auditions and get us an entire cast! Mark my words."

Hyo Shin looked pleased. "Raise your hand if you agree with the radio drama?"

Bo Na lifted her hand, followed by Hyo Shin. Eun Sang raised her own feeling a nervous excitement flood her stomach.

"The majority wins," Hyo Shin said.

Ye Sol sighed.

"I expect a synopsis by Sunday night, Eun Sang."

Bo Na shivered. "She has such a scary imagination! You should hear the stories she tells me when she sleeps over!"

"And we're just going to accept whatever she comes up with?" Ye Sol spat angrily.

"Why? Would you like to write a synopsis too?" Hyo Shin dared.

Ye Sol glared at Eun Sang. "I will write one too."

"Perfect. Email it to me by Sunday."

Ye Sol stood up and stormed out of the room. Bo Na glanced at Eun Sang. They had agreed to celebrate their improved test scores after school. Chan Young was inviting.

"I'd like to speak with senior for a moment," Eun Sang said.

Bo Na looked at the two of them. "We'll be waiting in front of the school. Don't take too long or we'll go without you."

Eun Sang smiled. "Don't even dream of it."

Bo Na returned the smile and walked out.

"They are doing this because of me."

Hyo Shin gathered his belongings. "If you know why do you ask?"

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Why?"

"Because I won't quit," Eun Sang said. "Because I don't want to bend under their foot."

Hyo Shin smiled. "I would have been very disappointed if you quit, Eun Sang."

* * *

At the wine cellar, Eun Sang tapped furiously away on her laptop letting her ideas come forth. She had forced her musings to the back of her mind for so many years that they poured out incoherently. She deleted many words, threaded new ones. Everything she wrote was depressing— sad even. She had seen so many movies with tragic endings that it was difficult to procure positivity. She wanted to write a story that could show others how obscure the world was, how cold it could be. To let those at Jeguk High feel the desperation she felt, every single day. And yet, Eun Sang wanted to show hope. That same hope that let her breathe— that let her live— she wanted to somehow bring it to life. She wanted to build possibility where it didn't exist. Despite the overwhelming despair that plagued her faceless characters, Eun Sang wanted to show _hope._ She wanted to show bravery. She wanted to show strength.

Eun Sang needed a powerful, terrifying villain; the embodiment of all tragedies.

_**He was a dark enigma. Dangerous. Lethal. He was as beautiful as a panther, with eyes that showed the intent of his…**_

Eun Sang stared at the screen. She deleted the words quickly. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes trying to erase what had begun to take shape.

But he was already there.

As vivid as if he were standing before her, Eun Sang could even catch a whiff of his intoxicating cologne. He was so tall. His posture proud. He wasn't a flower boy, not like Chan Young or even Tan, but he had a sort of raw, perilous beauty that was no less captivating. Those devilish eyes that expressed far more than his words ever could, the way they tore through her, the way she couldn't pull away from their magnetic allure…

Eun Sang sighed and opened her eyes.

_**He was a ghost. Haunting. Terrifying. He was everywhere. She wished him away so many times. Like a curse, he remained. Wherever she went, he followed. In her waking moments, in her dreams, behind her closed eyelids. In her innermost thoughts. Like a grudge. And even when he was not there, he haunted her. Always.**_

Eun Sang bit her lip. She tried another thought.

_**The killer was in the room. She had nowhere to run. He knew. And smiled. He savored her fear. His eyes were on her. Burning through her. She hit the wall. He came on her. The knife glinted at her throat. She was terrified. She wanted to scream. But something in his eyes compelled her…**_

She slammed her laptop closed. Just what was she thinking? How could he have gotten so deeply rooted within her subconscious that he monopolized even her creativity?

Eun Sang looked at her phone and scrolled through her contacts. No matter how much she tried to remember his number it just wouldn't come to mind. She had never paid attention. She had never cared about it. Eun Sang considered calling Bo Na to ask for it. How could she explain to her friend what had happened when Eun Sang didn't even know herself? How could she admit to another person that she wanted to talk with him when it sounded ridiculous in her own mind?

Exhaling, she kicked out her legs in frustration. She mindlessly opened and closed apps. She checked her SNS, she looked through her music. Her mind was a complete blank regarding his number. Why had he deleted it? It wasn't like they were ignoring each other. Young Do had walked away to make her **want** to walk toward him. Was that it?

_He thinks you hate him…_

"Why are you thinking about him, Cha Eun Sang?"

She didn't miss him. She couldn't possibly miss him. The past weeks had been so peaceful. To know that he wouldn't use what he knew against her, to validate that truce with each day he kept quiet — it was what she had wanted, what she had once tried to ask of him as a favor. She should have felt deliriously satisfied and happy. She should have been pleased with the normalcy her life had regained.

_There is someone I want to impress…_

Eun Sang looked through her photos. She smiled at a few which she'd taken of Bo Na while she had been sleeping with a slime green facial mask. There were a couple of Chan Young and her making faces while they studied. Some were photos she'd taken of Hyo Shin's notes and even one of Hyo Shin when she had caught him singing along to a song in the broadcasting room.

And then she saw it.

Eun Sang tapped the photo to bring it up on the screen. It was an address. Written in Young Do's handwriting. It was unmistakably his. She recognized his handwriting from the many notes he had thrown at her in class. She zoomed it. Stared at it. Memorized it.

She felt the beat of her heart hasten. Why was she so excited? Why was she equally terrified? Nerves knotted her stomach. He had left this for her. He had meant for her to see it. Eventually. Why? Why did he pretend to leave when he wasn't really going?

Bait.

He was enticing her. Maybe even _daring_ her. He was shining bewitchingly, luring her like moths were drawn to the flame.

_Do you think it's working?_

She was a tiny fish in a tank full of sharks, but there was one shark she found herself swimming with. Beneath his impressive shadow she could be safe, not just from him, but from the others.

"Just what are you thinking, you crazy bitch?"

If her logical mind was shouting against it, Eun Sang paid no heed. She gathered her belongings and ran out of the wine cellar. Across the courtyard, she looked up and spotted Tan. He was standing by the window of his bedroom, as he often did, her dream catcher still hanging there. She hoped it worked for his sake — that all the ugly nightmares got caught leaving him with pleasant dreams. For the first time since their break up Eun Sang didn't linger beneath his window.

She opened the back door and ran into the kitchen.

Her mother was busy writing notes on a tablet — an upgrade from her notebooks given by the Chairman. A new maid that had been hired to help with Madam's chores. The Chairman_had_ promised to lessen her mother's labor. For better or worse the Chairman seemed to be a man who kept his promises well.

"Mom!"

Her mother looked at her, face twisting into worry. Eun Sang took a moment to catch her breath. Her mother set her tablet down and began signing her concerns.

_What's wrong? Why are you so pale? Did you run into the young master again? Did he bother you?_

Eun Sang shook her head. Soon they would no longer have to worry about that; at the end of the month they would move to an apartment, far away from that dark, tiny maid's room. Her mother would no longer have to worry for her or a heart that no longer felt broken for Tan.

"Mom. I need your help."

Her mother looked puzzled.

"Help me make some black bean noodles." Eun Sang shook her head."No. Just tell me how to make it. I'll do the rest. Do you think I can cook here?"

The stove wasn't occupied but she knew her mother would soon start preparing Madam's lunch.

_Why?_

It was a perfectly normal question. The problem was that she could hardly find her answer sensible.

"I want to take some to my… friend."

_Then just let me make it. Do you want to give them in indigestion?_

"Mom!" Eun Sang cried. "I'm not that bad. I really want to do this myself. Will you show me how?"

_Are you sure it's for a friend? Not an enemy?_

* * *

She took several buses to reach the closest point possible to Young Do's neighborhood. At the last bus stop Eun Sang called for a cab. She knew she would regret spending money on the fare later but she didn't want to walk the long way left to his house. She could walk on her way back so she could have time to think about her stupidity. She asked the driver to leave her a couple of blocks short of the actual destination. Eun Sang wasn't sure she could handle simply pulling up to his home as if it were the most common and casual thing in the world.

Eun Sang looked up at the slightly winding road, feeling nervous. It wasn't that she was intimidated by the neighborhood's richness. After living in Tan's home, luxury hardly impressed her. It wasn't even that she was scared of running into his father or even anyone from school.

She was merely scared of realizing what she was doing.

She was willingly coming to his home.

She had willingly cooked for him.

She had come all this way to deliver it.

She hadn't even paused to consider that he could hate the gesture, that he could dump the food on her head and laugh at her for being stupid enough to think he would eat something she made.

Eun Sang clutched the bag in her hand tightly, forcing herself forward.

_You can always kill him later._

Eun Sang saw the impressive black gate first.

_Like the gates to hell…_

She hugged her coat tighter around herself. The call box, though ordinary in appearance, made her feel as though it would bite her as soon as she interacted with it. Her hand reached out tentatively, pausing only inches away from the red button that reminded her of a droplet of blood. Eun Sang closed her eyes and pressed firmly. She quickly rehearsed in her mind what she would tell the service lady. Or man.

She was a friend.

From school.

And her name was…

"_Who is it?"_

It was his voice.

Why was he answering?

Panic flooded her heart. She hadn't expected to confront him straight way. Eun Sang clenched her hand into a fist.

"_Is it you, Cha Eun Sang?"_

She looked over her shoulder and saw the camera. He was probably watching her at that very moment. She could hear the amusement in his voice, that slight ring of mockery so particular to him. Eun Sang turned away from the camera. She was a fool. He was still playing with her. She was still a mouse to be clawed.

Eun Sang pulled herself together and began walking away. She heard the loud rumble of the gates pulling apart. She froze right in the middle of the road. Her heart was galloping.

_You're an idiot for coming, Cha Eun Sang. A total idiot._

Her cell phone vibrated in her pocket. Eun Sang pulled it out. An unknown number flashed on the screen. She knew it was him. And shockingly she found herself repeating his number in a whisper. Several times.

"Did you come all the way here to play a prank on me, Cha Eun Sang?"

His voice was far closer than it should have sounded. Eun Sang turned slowly to find him standing a few feet away. Dressed as sharply as usual she wondered if there was ever a time where he didn't look so dangerous. The corner of his lips were upturned in an unapologetically smug grin. He slid his cell phone back into his pocket.

"I regret coming," she immediately said.

"If you truly regretted coming you would have turned your back on me and walked away." He tilted his head to the side. "You have walked away from me so easily before, Cha Eun Sang. Is it becoming harder to leave me?"

"I was curious," she said. "To see who lived here."

He chuckled. "You knew I lived here."

"I had no idea."

Young Do closed the gap between them and snatched the bag from her hands. She fought to get it back but he'd already opened it to take a look inside. He sniffed.

"If you are going to lie you should do so more convincingly. And without evidence." He arched a brow at her. "Just who else would have left their address so inconspicuously on your phone?"

"You're right. I only know one psycho."

He bit his lip, cracking a smile. "You brought me black bean noodles. I'm so touched you remembered that I could cry."

Young Do pulled out one of the containers, his smile never faltering. He seemed so childishly contented.

"Did you make it? You didn't poison it did you?" He waved his hand. "Don't answer that. Because then I can't eat it."

"I made it. And I did think of poisoning it."

His smile was glaringly bright. "Really? With your own hands? For me?"

"You're mocking me again."

Young Do put the container back in the bag, his smile falling a little. "I'm really disappointed in you, Cha Eun Sang. Can't you even tell the difference between genuine happiness and sarcasm?"

Eun Sang scoffed. "Aren't you being sarcastic right now?"

"That's what I'm saying!" His scowl reminded her of a five year old with a tantrum. "You're ruining my happiness with your bitterness."

Eun Sang's voice softened. "Are you really that happy I made you food?"

"Yes. I'm happy. Why? Can't I be happy?" He gave her a reproachful look. "I'm happy that you came when you knew it was my address. I'm happy you remembered I liked black bean noodles."

Eun Sang bit the inside of her cheek.

He took a step closer. "But I can't figure out why you're here even though I'm happy you are."

"Weren't you waiting for it?"

Young Do laughed a little. "Do I really seem that confident to you?"

"I can't figure you out," she admitted.

"Have you tried?"

"You haven't made it easy."

"You're the only person in the world who has made me into a fool, Cha Eun Sang." His seriousness was alarming. He almost sounded angry. "Right now I stupidly want to believe you brought me this because it was the first meal we shared. Because you want to make a new memory."

Eun Sang hated how he spoke like that so easily.

"Are we starting over?"

"I brought this over because it looks like you haven't been eating." She pointed at him, trying desperately to calm her heart. "Have you gone back to eating just ramen at the convenience stores? You've lost weight."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you seriously worrying or diverting the conversation? Because both are working."

"I just wanted to bring you food," she confessed. "Must there be a deeper meaning?"

"But what can we do?" He bent toward her to be at eye level. "The lamb has come to the den of the wolf with food—" His eyes fell to her lips. "—but he's only interested in devouring the lamb."

Eun Sang surprised herself by taking a step forward, coming dangerously close to the self-described predator. "The lamb came knowing where she was going. Still she hoped to share a meal with the wolf. She refuses to be on his menu."

Young Do looked at her with so much uninhibited longing that it left her breathless. He raised his hand, running his thumb across the length of her jawline. Eun Sang mustered all the courage within her to remain still.

"Do you even know," he whispered softly. "The power the lamb has over the wolf?"

His aura was absolutely electric. Young Do laced his fingers through hers, causing a shiver to run up her arm at the mere touch. He tugged her toward the gate.

"Wait," she whispered.

He looked over his shoulder.

"What does it mean to cross those gates?"

"The wolf just wants to eat _with_ the lamb." His smile was full of promise. "Must there be a deeper meaning?"


	5. Wait For Me

Young Do did not let go of her hand until they crossed the threshold of his home. It was so strange to Eun Sang to step into a house like his through the main entrance. She was used to going through the back doors, like a secret to be hidden. She was used to walking quickly through corridors to remain unseen. Apprehension filled her heart as they stood in the foyer. Unlike Tan's residence, Young Do's home was contemporary furnished, lacking a feminine touch. It had no doubt been put together by a top interior designer, with emphasis on modern curves and masculinity, making it look like a place featured in magazines. There was a certain cruel coldness to the blue, gray, and metallic palette that was almost clinical. She glanced about taking in the meticulous arrangement which was so symmetrically precise that it made her feel like her presence ruined the harmony.

Young Do glanced at her. He had a way of perceiving her emotions which never failed to surprise her. "I don't like it either. That's why I don't live here."

This was news. "You don't?"

"Things have changed," he looked about thoughtfully. "Memories haven't. I hate it here."

She wondered what he meant. He stared ahead at something she couldn't see. Was it a memory? Eun Sang couldn't imagine what kind of scars he had on his heart that it made him seem so distant at times like that. Could she ask him? Would he answer? Were they even close enough to swap painful secrets? He already knew so much of her. She realized that she knew nothing of his life. She had been too busy fighting him to care or even wonder.

_Have you tried?_

A maid stepped out from the hallway on the left, bowing respectfully at them. She looked impeccable in her uniform, her mannerisms graceful despite possibly being as old as her mother. He didn't greet her and just handed the bag which Eun Sang had brought him.

"Serve this for two and bring it to my bedroom."

Eun Sang shook her head. "Please don't take it to his room."

Young Do raised a brow at her. "Already giving orders like the lady of the house?"

Eun Sang sighed. "It's improper—"

"Should I make you the lady of the house then? I'm not opposed to this."

The maid looked a bit baffled. Eun Sang felt just as confused. How could he say those things with such ease and disregard for appropriateness?

"Bring it to my bedroom." His tone left no room for argument.

Eun Sang was tempted to stomp his foot just because his stubbornness was infuriating. She elbowed him instead. "What are you making me seem like?"

He chuckled. "Did our lamb just strike the wolf in his own den?"

"Is this a time to be joking?"

He grinned. "We already fight like a married couple."

"Choi Young Do." She was close to stomping his foot regardless of consequences. "Would you—"

"Choi Eun Sang," he drawled the name.

"Are we westerners? How will I ever be Choi Eun Sang?"

"What can I do?" His smile was almost cute. "I like the sound of my name with yours. Should we do it like westerners then?"

"I should have poisoned those noodles." But her heart felt strangely queasy upon hearing his name with hers.

"Our maid has seen a lot worse, Cha Eun Sang." He pulled her toward him in a half hug, smiling brightly at her. "We look too good and innocent to be misunderstood. Correct?"

The maid regarded them studiously. Her eyes darted from him to her.

"Does she seem like the type who has commonly gone into a certain bedroom of this house?" His eyes slid toward the maid, unfriendly. "Do I seem like my father?"

"I will bring it to—"

Her words were interrupted by a loud bark. From behind the maid an enormous rottweiler charged forward. Eun Sang's eyes widened as it went straight for Young Do, who knelt with arms wide open, only to have the dog pass him by. The animal jumped on her with another bark, tumbling her backwards into an ungraceful heap. Once on the floor the dog nuzzled her neck, then licked her cheeks.

Young Do hovered over them, arms crossed. He was giving a disapproving look to the dog. "Ya, Hades. Just what are you doing to my lamb?" His tone was offended but the smile on his lips betrayed his feelings. "If you do this there won't be anything left for me."

Hades ignored him and continued licking her. Eun Sang giggled unable to help how ticklish it felt.

"I don't know who to be jealous of right now." Young Do said, pulling his dog back. "This is the first time that he's licked a woman who has crossed those doors."

Eun Sang looked at Hades. He seemed so friendly that she couldn't imagine him having ever done anything differently.

"Hades, do you like our Eun Sang?"

She stared at him. This was the first time Young Do had said her name, and with such an endearing tone. There was no mockery in his voice, no amusement in his eyes. The question was as serious as his expression.

The dog nudged her arm, wagging its tail. He sat by Eun Sang and looked up at his owner, barking a couple of times. Young Do nodded, satisfied. "If he hasn't bitten you by now, I think you're safe."

He extended out a hand to her. She took it without hesitation, letting him help her stand. To Hades, Young Do said, "Lead the way."

His bedroom was no different than the foyer. It too matched the theme of the house. The only difference was the color scheme: black, silver, and white. It bore no reflection of Young Do's personality. She recalled the bright orange of his motorcycle, the colorful shoes he wore, and just the flammable personality of the boy who seemed out of place in his own bedroom. There were no photographs, no paraphernalia, nothing that revealed anything particular to his interests or loved ones. The room had an enormous bed and a sitting area at the far end. The windows were as tall as the high ceiling, revealing a view of the beautiful garden outside. Eun Sang found herself drawing closer to catch a better glimpse of the colorful sea of flowers below. It almost seemed like a different world out there; a world that had no relevance to the house it was a part of.

Young Do came to stand beside her, hands in his pocket. "Do you like it?"

Eun Sang nodded.

His smile was nostalgic. "It's the only thing I've fought to preserve just as that person left it."

"Who?"

Young Do turned to her fully. The conflicting emotions were etched on his face, layers of pain and guilt marring his features. It was obvious that he struggled with the answer that seemed lodged in his throat.

There was a knock on the door. Young Do moved away to answer. She realized she'd been holding her breath all along. Tan had said once something to Young Do about his mother. Had she passed away? Was she the one who had cared for such a wonderful garden?

The maid walked in followed by a butler who was carrying a platter with their bowl of noodles. Young Do nodded toward the sitting area. The bowls were set on the ends of the coffee table. They bowed to them once more, the maid leaving ahead not without sparing Eun Sang a lingering glance. It was the butler who seemed to nervously lag behind with something to say.

Young Do raised a brow at him. "Are you appointing yourself as my chaperon?"

"Your father called."

Young Do waved a hand. "And?"

"He requested you to go to him right away."

"As you can see," Young Do said fiercely. "I'm rather busy right now."

The butler looked troubled. "He said—"

"Do you want Hades to give you a matching scar on your right ankle?"

Eun Sang gaped at that. "How could you say something like that? He's just—"

Young Do glanced over his shoulder. "Don't interfere. You can only do that when your name is Choi Eun Sang. Are you saying you'll marry me?"

"Choi Young Do, listen here," she tried to reason.

"I think you've stood there long enough. Can't you see this is a lover's quarrel?" He gave the butler a pointed look. "Get out."

The man remained for just a moment, looking at Young Do, then at Hades who had come to rest at the foot of Young Do's massive bed. His eyes met Eun Sang for a moment. She understood his feelings. The difference between her and the rich was simple; she had everything to lose, just like that butler.

He finally walked out of the room closing the door quietly behind him. Eun Sang went up to Young Do. "He's just doing his job."

"I know. But he's on my father's side. Whoever is on my father's side is my enemy."

"What happened between—"

"Did you so quickly forget who my father is, Cha Eun Sang?"

She would never be able to forget.

"Does it look like we will ever be on friendly terms?"

"With all the more reason," she persisted. "Why don't you go? He said—"

"Because you're here."

"I can come at another time."

_Don't be hurt because of me._

"Because you made me noodles."

"I'll make them again."

"Because I don't want to see his face," he said, lips quivering with rage. "When I can instead stare at your face."

Young Do pulled her toward the sitting area, shifting out of his anger as quickly as he'd fallen into it. He was exceptionally good at compartmentalizing his emotions, burying them beneath his sense of humor where no one could see just how much rage was beneath it all.

Eun Sang sat on the floor, at one of the corners. Young Do slid his bowl next to hers and sat by her side. From the other end of the room, Hades barked.

"At least she can talk!" He yelled at him. "When you learn to do the same we'll have noodles together."

Eun Sang muffled a laugh into her sleeve.

Young Do looked at the bowl and clasped his hands together. He bit on his lip in anticipation. He had that perturbing habit which he did with disturbing frequency. Eun Sang found herself nudging him. "Don't do that."

He raised a brow at her. "Do what?"

She mimicked his habit. His eyes lingered on her lips far longer than her example had lasted. Slowly, he looked up at her. "Does it make you want to bite my lips? I'll let you."

The memory of their kiss flooded her mind. Eun Sang quickly looked away, feeling so embarrassed that she wished to crawl into a hole. She dug her chopsticks into the noodles and began to eat.

"You really didn't poison it," he smiled.

Young Do tentatively brought some to his lips, watching her out of the corner of his eyes. Eun Sang almost wanted to pretend to choke to make him worry about poison. She refrained. She watched him chew and nod appreciatively, pointing his chopsticks at the bowl. "You can make noodles for a living if nothing else works out. I'll be a regular."

"Are they really alright?" To her they didn't taste special.

"I should have made you cook for me all this time. What a waste."

She scoffed. "You can ask the best chefs in the world to cook for you."

"But it would never taste like this." He chewed and swallowed. "It would never taste like home."

Eun Sang was startled by that honest confession. He didn't even seem to think his words a big deal. She watched him eat happily, as if he hadn't just said something of huge significance. Yet it was very significant. Eun Sang realized that he had a home he didn't even live in, one he didn't seem to like, one that had no relevance to him. He was a person who felt more at home in a hotel suite because his house felt even more foreign and uncomfortable. He could eat the best food in the world but he didn't care for it as it lacked something as simple as the flavor of homemade. All the things which Eun Sang was rich in were exactly the things Young Do was poor in. In that moment she understood just how empty his richness was by comparison. In that moment she realized how absolutely useless their surrounding luxury was when it couldn't even fill the emptiness of his heart.

Eating a meal made by the hands of a mother, with love — he didn't have this.

Eating at a table surrounded by loved ones, with laughter — he also lacked this.

The boy who could want for nothing, who would have nothing to envy of anyone, was the same boy who ate her simple black bean noodles as though it were the best meal he'd had in years. This boy who many would envy for his privileged position was one who seemingly longed for a simplicity that even Eun Sang often took for granted.

His bowl was nearly empty.

"Why aren't you eating?"

She pushed hers to him. "Would you like mine too?"

"If you do that it makes it seem like I'm bullying you."

Eun Sang gave him a small smile. "I made it all for you."

"And I'm sharing them," he pushed the bowl back. "You're always complaining how rich people are spoiled and greedy. I'm trying to—"

"I want you to have them all," she said. "Because I've had them before."

He looked at her. It was evident that he had caught the deeper meaning of her words. For a while he just sat there, observing her. "What to do? You didn't poison it but I'm starting to feel strange."

"Maybe you ate too fast."

"Maybe you made me whole."

Eun Sang was never prepared for his words. She felt like she would never learn to predict what he would say. Just when she thought she held her own he would throw her into uncertainty. Was he serious? Was he playing? Could he really live up to the unspoken promises that seemed laced through everything he said?

He set his chopstick down. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Homework."

He looked annoyed. "Why is a young person like you doing homework on a Saturday night?"

"How can a person who thinks of homework like that have gotten first place?"

Young Do gave her a look. "Did you think that because I terrorized kids I was stupid?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

The two stared, unrelenting.

"I'll help you with your homework. Now don't even —" he raised a finger at her "—say a word of protest. If I help with your homework, you will finish faster. If you finish faster, you will have free time tonight. If you have free time—"

"This isn't just homework." She confessed, "This is war. I have something to prove to not just teachers. I have to prove it to myself."

Young Do raised a brow.

"The broadcast club is going to produce a radio drama." She didn't want to tell him that they were facing a shutdown. This was something she didn't want to win by anything but her own efforts. "I've volunteered to write the script. I have to turn in a synopsis by tomorrow. I want to prove that I can do this much."

"And instead you spent the morning cooking for me?" He smiled wide. "I am so touched. Deeply, right now, in my heart, I feel flowers blooming."

Eun Sang rolled her eyes.

"I didn't know our lamb was a writer."

"I didn't either." She mused. "I've never had the time to do anything other than work."

He casually rested his head on his hand. "Was it always so hard? For your family."

Eun Sang shook her head. "When father was alive the business gave us enough to live without having to worry. Mother always helped with everything she could. Father got sick. My sister went abroad when things started becoming difficult. Father was so sorry on his death bed knowing the debt he was leaving to us. He couldn't die in peace."

Young Do listened to her intently. She thought he would seem uncaring but his concern appeared to be genuine. She expected him to make an inappropriate comment to divert the conversation to lighter subjects. Instead she found him looking at her as though there was nothing more interesting in the world than to listen to the pitiful story of her life.

"I thought it was unfair. My sister was studying abroad leaving me with a bad situation. Mom didn't last long at her jobs because," she looked at him. "You know why."

He nodded.

"That's why I want to do something with my life. That's why I'm trying so hard right now. To many I am just a whore who stepped aside when she got cut a good deal, an opportunistic—"

Young Do reached for her hand. "I thought I told you. Don't call yourself that. Ever. Not in front of me or anyone." He squeezed her hand. "If you were a gold digger you would have jumped into my arms when I talked about making you Choi Eun Sang."

"Will you stop—"

Hades started barking.

Young Do looked over at him, tensing up. "Trouble."

Moments later a loud voice echoed outside. Eun Sang recognized it instantly. Young Do ran his tongue across his upper teeth, already seething. He got up and walked away. Eun Sang quickly followed him.

"Don't make a sound," he said. "No matter what you hear."

She grabbed his arm. "He sounds really angry."

_I'm worried about you._

Young Do nodded back toward the sitting area. "The bathroom is the right door. It has a lock on the inside. If he somehow manages to make it inside this room, run there, and lock it."

"You're scaring me."

Eun Sang heard footsteps coming closer. The butler was apologizing over and over. His father was shouting insults at him. He was saying they should have forced Young Do into the car. He was threatening to fire the man. He begged him not to, claiming he had children. Young Do pushed Eun Sang back and walked out the door. She heard him lock it from the outside with a key. Hades was at her side, pawing at the door, whining. She heard the sound of glass shattering, and more insults. Eun Sang's heart was pounding so loud it almost deafened her.

"_You stupid punk!"_

The sound of the slap sliced through the hall like a whip. Eun Sang placed her hands on the door, feeling impotent.

"_When I call you, come."_ His father growled. "_When I look for you, be there!"_

"_You're as healthy as ever father."_

"_Who did you bring home, you stupid punk?"_

"_Are you the only one allowed to play here?"_

Another slap.

"_You forget that I am the owner of this house."_

"_How could I forget what you remind me of every time you see me?"_

"_Do you know how important it was for you to show up?"_

"_The things that are important to you," _Young Do hissed. "_Are meaningless to me."_

"_The things that are important to me," _his father roared. "_Pay for your motorcycles, for your clothing, for your capricious desires! The name I have carried on with honor is the one that opens all doors for you and allows you to get away with every deviousness you've done!"_

"_It's money that also pays for your whores,"_ Young Do chuckled. "_It's a name you disgrace in the dark. Don't lecture me about keeping what you carelessly toss around."_

Something hard slammed against the door. Eun Sang stumbled back, covering her mouth with her hands. Hades barked incessantly, scratching the door desperately.

"_Get dressed in your best tuxedo. And come outside. I will be waiting in the car. Don't you even think about escaping. You know what happens when you disobey me."_

A few minutes later, Young Do unlocked the door and slipped inside. He leaned against it, looking down at the floor. His fists were clenched, his body shaken. It was no different than the time in which Eun Sang had witnessed him being beaten. His entire body language was the same as the victims which he too had terrorized. There was a hopelessness in his posture, a defeat in the way he hung his head whether in embarrassment or shame. Hades went to his side, licking his knuckles and nuzzling his leg. It was amazing how animals could be so perceptive to the troubles of their masters. Eun Sang walked toward him with uncertainty. The last time she had tried to approach him after a confrontation with his father he hadn't appreciated it.

Young Do raised his head, looking beyond her. One side of his face was reddened with a bit of purpling at his cheekbone. He was so fair skinned that even the slightest touch would mark him. How long had he lived this way? It was clear that his father toyed with him as he pleased.

"What gives you strength to endure, Cha Eun Sang?"

The question caught her off guard.

"I'm starting to feel like what used to motivate me is not enough," he admitted. "I feel like I will end up just like him. Even to you I was like him. Is this really my fate?"

The disgust in his voice was like acid that burned his mouth. It was so painfully evident that he loathed his father — that he loathed what he did. What could have possibly been helping him endure it all this time? He looked at the brink of giving up.

"My mother," she replied. "I take courage because of her. I want to give her a better life. Because I love her."

His eyes fell on her. "You won't be able to leave right now."

"I'll leave when—"

"Wait for me." He had never looked so desperate. "Give me a reason to come back."

The words were simple but their meaning weighed heavy. He was asking her to give him a reason to be able to return to being the boy who had eaten her homemade noodles. A boy who, despite the ugliness that asphyxiated him, could still manage to smile at her as though he meant it. He was asking her to be a sort of beacon to guide him back. How could she refuse him that much? How could she walk away knowing something so simple could save what remained of his humanity?

She nodded.

Young Do opened the door of his room and called out for the maid. She quickly came, her eyes filled with overwhelming concern.

"Give her everything she asks for. And bring her a laptop. She has homework to do. Unlock the library too." He looked away from Eun Sang. "Bring the best tuxedo to my mother's bedroom. I will be changing there."

Young Do gave her one last glance before stepping out into the hallway.

* * *

Eun Sang learned the maid's name was Go Dok Mi and she had been serving the Choi household for fifteen years. She was in charge of ensuring it ran perfectly even though no one lived there anymore. Eun Sang addressed her respectfully, as her age merited, and because in some ways she reminded her of her mother. After Young Do had left Mrs. Go took Eun Sang to the library. It was unreal how many books filled the it from floor to ceiling. Biographies, fiction, poetry; the library seemed to have an extensive and varied collection. It was also the only part of the house which was decorated with an old world charm that reminded her of the beautiful libraries in English movies. She ran her finger across many interesting titles realizing how she hadn't ever read more than was required by school, and how uneducated her ignorance made her feel.

Mrs. Go came into the library. "Is there anything you need?" She glanced up at the books which were humanly out of reach. "I can call someone to get any book you desire."

Eun Sang smiled. "I stayed here because it's the only place that feels warm."

Mrs. Go regarded her curiously. "The Madam felt the same way. She was often in here. Reading to the young master."

"His mother?" Eun Sang wanted to ask what happened but she knew it would put Mrs. Go in an uncomfortable position.

She nodded. "It has been many years since he has asked me to unlock it. I come to clean and keep things tidy, as required. But he lets no one else in here."

"Did he like to read too?"

"Yes. He enjoyed it. He was able to quote many books. Now I wouldn't know. It's the first time he's come back to live here."

"He told me he didn't live here."

"A month ago he returned." Mrs. Go looked at her warmly. "He would take long walks near the gate, as if waiting again."

_Again?_

"You were the one he was waiting for." Mrs. Go's face was very pleasant. "I was excited to see who could have made the young master so earnest."

Eun Sang inhaled a ragged breath.

"He smiled again," Mrs. Go said. "Like before."

"You make me painfully aware of how little I know." Eun Sang sighed. "I guess I'll go back to his room. I left the laptop there. Could you take me back? I think I'll get lost in this house."

"Would you like to have dinner first?"

Eun Sang glanced at her watch. "It has gotten late."

"Is there something you would like specifically?"

She smiled. "I'm not a picky eater."

Mrs. Go escorted her to the dining room where she was served a banquet of more food than she could possibly ever eat. She was treated so well, so kindly, that she concluded Young Do was possibly misunderstanding that his staff wasn't entirely on his father's side. It was evident that Mrs. Go wasn't in favor of the harsh treatment he had grown with. Mrs. Go hasn't spoken another word about Young Do's past or his mother; it left Eun Sang with more questions than answers. She wished now that she would have paid more attention to his and Tan's quarrels so that she could piece together the confusing puzzle. From Mrs. Go's testimony, his mother had been a good and caring woman. How could such a person have married someone as detestable as Young Do's heartless father?

_Because they marry for business, not love._

In Young Do's room Hades waited by one of the windows. Eun Sang walked up to him, bending to pet his soft coat. Even with daylight dwindling it was still such a beautiful garden.

"I wish you could talk too," she whispered. "So you could tell me about what you've seen."

Eun Sang found words pouring from her fingertips as she typed them on the computer. In her world of poverty, her demons had been many. In his world of luxury, his demon had been Satan. Two obviously different people waged a simultaneous war on their oppressors. Both needed a reason to fight on, a plank to hold onto as they drifted through an ocean of uncertainly. It became perfectly clear to Eun Sang that the only division that existed between them was a line that had been painted by society; a society that put too much importance on their shallow differences rather than their common burdens. As she threaded words of anguish and despair, of desperation and disappointment, a growing sense of hope burned like a flame within her heart. Her eyes became heavy. She didn't know when reality melted into dreams or if she'd never been awake to begin with. She could only see a bright smile beneath the rubble, like a photograph which remained after everything else had been burned down.

It was him. Choi Young Do. They boy who was supposedly from another world but who had merely been living in another corner of hell.

* * *

Eun Sang had never slept so well in all her life. She stretched like a cat, yawning. The bed seemed to snuggle her with warmth. The pillow was so soft and the comforter smelled like lavender. It was nice. It felt wonderful to sleep in and not have an alarm—

Her eyes flew open. She did not own a bed. She should not be snuggled by one. Her alarm should have gone off or her mother shaken her awake.

Eun Sang looked to the side and gasped.

Dressed in a red cashmere sweater, with fitted gray pants was a familiar boy. A boy whose fringe had fallen over his forehead, concealing those expressive eyebrows that had often mocked her. He appeared so soft and innocent that she almost couldn't recognize him.

Almost.

His lips were unmistakably Young Do's. He was curled on his side like a cat. If she reached out, she could touch him. They were that close. This was the boy who scared her and yet could make her heart run marathons in her chest by just looking at her.

She had fallen asleep. In his house. On his bed. With him.

With Choi Young Do.

A boy.

Her heart went into a panicked frenzy. She was about to throw herself off the bed when a hand snatched her wrist, pulling her back.

"Do I look that bad in the morning for you to make such a horrified face?"

He looked far from bad but that wasn't the point. She threw a pillow at him. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

He opened one eye. "I tried. It didn't work." He was smiling. He was totally amused by her predicament. "Our lamb is a very heavy sleeper. The wolf could have devoured her and she wouldn't have known."

"You should have tried harder!" She glared at him. "Or taken me home."

Young Do shook his head. "I'm not welcome at Kim Tan's residence. Nor would I entrust you to him when you're such a heavy sleeper."

"I'm going to be killed."

"I had Bo Na call your mother."

"You told her I was with you?" Eun Sang gasped. "How could you? What will she think?"

"You can always tell her I kidnapped you."

"Does it make you proud to know she would believe that?"

He didn't look bothered.

But he hadn't kidnapped her. She had willingly come to him even after he had said he would not come find her anymore. She had been the one to reignite their weird sort of friendship which she couldn't even understand or fully condone.

"Why would she think you slept in my bed?" He asked, biting his lip. "Have you given her reason to believe you would do more than drool on my pillow?"

She smacked him with the pillow again. Young Do laughed, unable to look at her.

"What's so funny?"

Hugging the pillow, Young Do looked up at her, eyes filled with mischief. "In order to not only try to awaken you, but also make you look less appetizing…"

Eun Sang reached up to feel her face.

"Ya, how conceited our lamb is to immediately think of her face." He smirked. "Don't you know wolves like the _meaty_ parts?"

She had no more pillows to throw at him, so she grabbed the one underneath his head and hit him with it, over and over.

"I'm going to kill you," she promised.

"Our lamb wakes up so energetic." Abruptly, he grabbed her wrists and flipped her underneath him with such speed that all air went out of her lungs when he pinned himself over her. "What should we do, Cha Eun Sang? I've liked waking up next to you this morning. I may have formed a habit now. Have you made me into an addict? Should I just make you Choi Eun Sang?"

Her heart was a crazy traitor. "Don't throw around your name so carelessly."

"It has never been thrown to someone more worthy."

"Stop teasing me."

"And if I were serious?"

"You're not."

He pinched her cheek affectionately. "It's hard to be serious when you have such a cute mustache."

Her eyes widened at him. "You didn't!"

"With permanent marker." He traced along her cheeks. "And perhaps I doodled here too."

"I'm going to kill you."

"You keep promising such a fate to me." He dipped his head low, stopping merely centimeters from her lips. "But you can't even—"

Eun Sang mustered all her strength to throw him off her. She quickly straddled his hips, stuffing the pillow on his face. "I could suffocate you."

_But I can't._

He was laughing underneath her.

_I can't._

She tossed the pillow to the side. He regarded her with fascination. "You are so exciting, Cha Eun Sang. I never know what to expect from you. How have you bewitched me this way?"

Eun Sang realized he had done the same to her. As she looked at him, as his words echoed in her mind, as his eyes reflected her own, she became aware that he too had bewitched her. He excited her. She anticipated him. Where she had once found him a nuisance, wishing him gone, she had come to miss him when he'd granted her peace. Missed him to the point that she had come back to him. She hadn't been able to stay away. Eun Sang had tried. She had tried to retain the shallow impression he had initially left her with. She tried not to know more because a part of her knew this could happen.

She climbed off him and ran to the bathroom. Eun Sang shrieked when she saw her reflection. He had painted the most ridiculous mustache above her lips.

"Did you think I was kidding?" He was leaning by the door frame, arms crossed.

She looked at him on the mirror.

He handed her a bag. "Bo Na came earlier to bring you this. I told her you were sleeping. She wants you to call her."

Eun Sang buried her face in her hands. "This is so embarrassing! Are you laughing? This isn't funny!"

She began scrubbing her face with tissue. Thankfully he'd been lying about using permanent marker.

"I liked your synopsis."

Eun Sang turned to him. "You read it?"

"You were drooling on my laptop. I had to make sure it was working."

"By reading my work?"

"Why didn't you tell me the Chairman was targeting you at school?"

"Because it's nothing new. It's his way to remind me that I am nothing. That I shouldn't even breathe the same air as his son."

"He is taking it too far with this. It's affecting the other kids."

"Don't do anything."

He grinned. "Too late. I've been cast as the villain. I think it's my voice. You described someone so much like me…"

She paled. Had she done that again?

"I've taken root in your heart Cha Eun Sang." He seemed deliriously content. "Try to take me out if you can."

"I haven't even sent it to Hyo Shin for consideration—"

"Avoid it all you want."

"How could she have cast you—"

"I proof read it and sent it for you."

"You didn't change it, did you?"

"No. You said you wanted to try your best. I would interfere with anything but that."

She sighed in relief. "Do you really think it has promise? To be a good story, I mean."

"What good is it if I tell you it has promise if _you_ don't believe it does?"

"When did you come back last night?"

"When I lost my glass slipper."

She wanted to ask how it went. If his father had been violent or done something to punish his disobedience. She hated how she could never guess how deeply the wounds truly hurt his heart because he was too good at diverting the attention away from his issues. He only showed what he wanted.

"Don't look so mortified. He doesn't act like a fiend in front of others. It's bad for business."

"How long has he—"

"You can take a shower and meet me for breakfast. I'll take Hades on a walk."

"Choi Young Do—"

He turned away from her. "For being here when I came you."

_For not giving up on me._


	6. In Denial

Eun Sang looked at her reflection in the mirror. On the outside she was the same; wide, curious eyes, a little stumpy nose she hadn't always liked, a smile like her mother's…

_I'm smiling._

She stared as though she were beholding a foreign creature. It had been such a long time since she had seen that expression on her face. Worries had stolen her happiness for so many years that she couldn't quite believe what she was seeing, much less what she was feeling. That ridiculous little joy in her heart. How could she feel such a thing? She patted her cheeks trying to sober up. Nothing had changed. She was still an ordinary girl in an extraordinary world. Her situation was still precarious. Her fate hung on a thin thread that was held together by the hands of a man who could easily let go without much consequence to him. She was his investment, he had warned her, and as such he would do with her as he pleased. And she had to agree.

_For now._

Chan Young's father always gave wise advice that she repeated to herself daily.

_Bear with it, Eun Sang. Make the most of it. Learn everything you can. Take all the opportunities. Until you can stand on your own feet and hold your own weight. Until their pressure can't destroy you. Persevere. Only then will you be free._

Eun Sang could bear it all. She would handle it. And she would be free. In the meantime, she decided, she refused to let them control her heart. If she could find reasons to smile, she would. If she could find reasons to laugh, she would. No longer would she let guilt keep her from living as much as she could live. No longer would she ignore the glimmer of hope that she could see at the end of the long, dark tunnel.

She saw his face. It was a blurry image, distant, almost untouchable. But it was him. Her heart recognized him though it made no sense. It was a dangerous comfort to find solace under the shadow of a shark. It was madness. He wasn't her hope. He wasn't what drove her. And yet he was certainly inspiring her in some way.

_Nothing makes sense anymore._

Slowly she opened the bathroom door and poked her head out. Young Do wasn't back. She stepped out quietly, half expecting him to jump at her from a hidden corner. He was a boy that she could still not figure out. He always exceeded even her smallest expectations. At the far end of the room his closet was open. Curiously, Eun Sang inched closer, glancing over her shoulder to be sure he wasn't coming. It was an impressively large walk in closet with more clothes than Eun Sang had ever owned in her life. The lights overhead pinned their spotlight on certain sections: coats, shirts, suits, trousers, even a collection of ties and bows. Everything was perfectly organized by garment type, and color. His shoes were impeccably aligned on the racks, polished and clean as if they had never been worn.

_It's like a small department store._

Eun Sang ran her hand through the clothes. There were so many different textures and colors. She came across a familiar sweater. It was the one he had worn when she had gone to him after he had blackmailed her. The one he had worn when she was forced to eat noodles with him so that he, in turn, could drop a lawsuit against a kid he had terrorized to the point of insanity.

Back then, Eun Sang had hated Young Do and everything he stood for.

It felt like an eternity had passed since that unforgettable afternoon.

Perhaps emotionally it had been an eternity.

Eun Sang pulled the sweater off the hanger. She had hated it as much as she hated everything about its owner. Holding it up she realized that despite his slender frame he was still much bigger than her. Broad shoulders. Long torso. An impressively tall stature. It was the little things, she concluded, which she had never noticed about him before.

Young Do was like a painting. Perhaps at first glance it made no sense. Perhaps it even looked hideous, offensive, even frightening. In order to appreciate its beauty and make sense of its complexity one had to look at the details, at the smallest of brush strokes, at how the colors overlapped and came together to create a whole piece.

She had never looked deep. She had never bothered to make sense of words which had sounded ridiculous and empty. Words that she felt were simply thrown around by a boy who had no sense of anything other than himself, and his power. A boy who valued people's feelings so little that he found it inexpensive to toy with them. He simply lived the way he had been taught, without considering he could be different. Perhaps he found no reason to be different. In his world, he could be as rotten as he pleased, and he would still be wanted. Because he had power. And power was alluring.

The sweater was soft to the touch. It was not a sensation she associated with Young Do, someone of sharp edges. She wondered if he had worn it with the distinct intent of contrasting. Thinking back to that day she suddenly remembered his words.

_You come to me and become a flower._

"Oh my god," Bo Na enunciated in English.

Eun Sang whirled around, surprised. She felt like she had been caught snooping.

_You are snooping._

"You're even rubbing your face into his clothes!"

It wasn't until Bo Na said it that Eun Sang realized what she had been doing. She blinked and hid the sweater behind her back immediately. The day was promising to be her most embarrassing and it had only just begun.

Bo Na smacked her arm.

Eun Sang yelped. "What for?"

"Just what are you thinking, Cha Eun Sang?" She looked very upset. "How could you sleep here and expect me to cover for you?"

"And you?" Eun Sang threw back. "How could you not pick me up when he said I was here?"

"He sent me a picture," Bo Na flipped the cover of her phone and showed the photo to Eun Sang. "How could I think about coming here after this?"

Young Do had taken a self portrait, grinning as mischievously as he had the day he dropped her into the pool. Behind him she could clearly be seen, curled on his bed and even hugging his pillows. Eun Sang wished the ground would open to swallow her whole. She couldn't even look at her friend.

"Cha Eun Sang," Bo Na said seriously. "Just what are you doing? Do you even know?"

_I don't know._

"I fell asleep."

"Obviously."

"Stop looking at me like that."

Bo Na moved closer to her, looking at her suspiciously. "Do you like Choi Young Do?"

Eun Sang laughed. "Are you crazy?"

"You were doing the same thing I do with Chan Young's clothes!" Bo Na covered her flushed face when she realized what she'd just shouted. "Don't tell him that or I'll kill you."

"Then don't provoke me to tell your secrets by making me feel bad about mine. You know how Choi Young Do is. You were the bad friend for not rescuing me."

Bo Na gasped. "You spend just one night with him and you start sounding like him."

Just the thought of having spent the night with Young Do made Eun Sang's heart feel like her worst enemy. She should have been **really** angry at him. She should have been worried. She should have run out of there immediately. Yet all Eun Sang could feel was embarrassment, especially when she remembered how he had looked sleeping next to her. She had wanted to run her fingers through his hair to see if it felt as soft as it looked. To trace the length of his jawline and—

"You're blushing!" Bo Na poked her cheek. "What's going on? How could you like someone you wrote as such a scary villain for the story?"

"I didn't base him off Young Do!"

"You call him by name now?"

Eun Sang bit her lip.

_Comfortable. You are starting to feel. Don't._

"Who are you trying to fool?" Bo Na deadpanned. "Right now, Cha Eun Sang. Are you in denial?"

"Do you think my life has been easy?" She reminded her. "He picked on me! I was terrified of him! You saw what he did. I just took inspiration on what I felt and made a fictional—"

"You are in denial."

_He can be better than what he tries to be._

"Where is he anyways?"

"Why aren't you putting that sweater back?" Bo Na gasped. "Oh my god. Are you going to steal it? You are!"

"I'm borrowing it," Eun Sang clarified. "Because my friend didn't bring me a coat and it's freezing outside."

Bo Na had only brought her sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt to change into. It was hardly appropriate attire to brave the cruel winter outside. Eun Sang clung to the sweater and walked out of the closet. She'd put it on later. When Young Do couldn't do anything about it.

"We always make excuses when we want something." Bo Na shook her head. "Like that time I took Chan Young's—" Bo Na gasped into her hands, walking beside her. "Why am I revealing all my secrets like this?"

Eun Sang smiled.

* * *

Mrs. Go led them to the dining area. She did not hide her happiness over the fact that she had guests to entertain and prepare food for. Bo Na had been to Young Do's house a few times, Eun Sang learned, but it had been years since she'd last visited. It had probably been back when she had dated Tan and the boys had still been good friends. Bo Na made small talk with Mrs. Go detailing how much had changed from her last visit. Mrs. Go looked melancholic, as if she could still clearly picture the place as it had been when Young Do's mother had been the lady of the house. The questions persisted in Eun Sang's mind. What had happened to her? Where could she be? And why had she left her son alone with such a fearsome man? Why had Young Do not looked for her?

Bo Na walked ahead when they entered the dining room and took a seat on Young Do's left side. Young Do sat at the head looking exceptionally bored. Eun Sang lingered beside Mrs. Go. The table was so long and there were too many seats.

"I will bring breakfast as soon as everyone is here," Mrs. Go said, bowing and taking an exit.

_Is Chan Young coming too?_

Young Do lifted his eyes toward her and arched a brow. He had styled his hair in its usual coif, roughening the softness that his fringe had granted his angular face. The corner of his lips twitched slightly in amusement. It was definitely the little things, Eun Sang reminded herself, which made a world of difference in the human being that was Young Do.

"If your name were _Choi_ Eun Sang you would have to sit at the other end."

Bo Na frowned. "Are you planning to make her your sister?"

Young Do laughed. "I want to make her many things, Lee Bo Na. My sister isn't one of them."

"He's teasing me."

Eun Sang could not help feel flushed by the mention of their names together, especially in front of Bo Na who looked more shocked than Eun Sang had felt when he had first teased her with that ridiculous conjunction.

"Oh my god!" Bo Na realized. "You mean marriage? Like westerners?"

"Just like your mother did," Young Do's eyes twinkled.

"Only in the states."

He licked the corner of his lips. "You can sit wherever you would like, Cha Eun Sang. Next to me would be ideal."

Bo Na looked between the two of them, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Are you two dating secretly?"

"No!"

Young Do turned to her, ever jokingly. "She turns me down every time. Maybe you can convince her of my sincerity, Lee Bo Na."

"Stop with that nonsense, Choi Young Do."

"She says my name with such venom," Young Do placed a hand over his heart, mock hurt smearing his face. "Makes me want to try harder to have her say it lovingly."

Bo Na rolled her eyes. "I don't like so much sweetness in the morning."

Young Do was all smiles as he replied, "Now you know how I feel every time I see you with Yoon Chan Young."

Bo Na crossed her arms. "Why? Are you jealous?"

"Of course," Young Do teased. "Wasn't that obvious when I said I'd steal your boyfriend?"

Bo Na hissed, lifting a fist threateningly his way.

Young Do slid his eyes over to Eun Sang. "Our lamb. Are you scared of sitting next to the wolf this morning? You already slept with him."

Eun Sang's stomach turned into a knot. "Stop saying that."

Bo Na was completely stupefied by their exchange.

"Ah, sorry." Young Do's eyes were still on her. "I have forgotten my manners."

He stood and pulled out the chair on his right hand side. He waved her over with an exaggeratedly polite bow. Eun Sang went to him. Just as she was about to sit, Young Do pulled the chair out from under her. She was going to fall. Right on her bottom. He grabbed her arm, keeping her upright. Eun Sang glared at him. He merely grinned.

"If you really don't want to fall," his voice was a whisper only she could hear. "Be mindful of where you stand."

Eun Sang didn't want to stand, so she sat. Before he could trick her again.

"Hey, Choi Young Do." Bo Na chided. "When are you going to grow up?"

He went back to his rightful place. His eyes were twinkling with promise. Eun Sang hadn't missed the true meaning of his words. Not this time.

"Don't meddle yourself in our affairs, Lee Bo Na." He waved from himself to Eun Sang. "This lamb and wolf understand each other like this."

_Do I really understand?_

"Why do you keep calling her that? What game are you two playing?"

He shrugged. "She turns the color of beets if I call her Choi Eun Sang."

Like a curse, Eun Sang felt her cheeks heat up. His voice made everything sound inappropriate. He made it sound like if they were far closer than what they really were.

Young Do glanced back at Bo Na, a satisfied smirk on his lips. "And she won't let me call her Eun Sang. So I've decided on something endearing that won't make her feel so flustered."

Bo Na raised a brow. "You call that endearing?"

"Where is Hades?" Eun Sang asked, wishing to divert the topic.

Young Do seemed content with her concern. "He is being served his morning feast."

Bo Na shuddered. "Thank god. Your dog always tried to bite me."

He stole a glance at Eun Sang. "That's because he doesn't like you."

"I don't like him either."

Eun Sang frowned. "Why not? He's very cute and lovable."

"Even the dog likes you?" Bo Na was incredulous. "Just what are you, Cha Eun Sang?"

"Who else is coming?"

"Lee Hyo Shin," Young Do said.

"Senior?"

He nodded. "You didn't think this was a romantic breakfast did you? Lee Bo Na ruined that opportunity for us."

Bo Na scoffed. "Choi Young Do will never know the meaning of being romantic."

Young Do leaned over to her. "Should I take lessons from Yoon Chan Young?"

Eun Sang giggled into her palm when Bo Na kicked him under the table. Young Do's shocked expression was priceless. "Stay away from my boyfriend!"

"I say we use this in the radio drama," Hyo Shin said, from behind Eun Sang.

"Our senior who always shows up like a ghost," Young Do said bemusedly. "How long have you been listening?"

"Long enough." Hyo Shin walked over to them, looking around the dining room appreciatively. "It's colder than mine. I feel comforted."

Young Do gave him a look. "You're comforted by the fact that my father is more of a bastard than yours?"

"I'm comforted." Hyo Shin smiled. "It's nice to know I'm not the only one who suffers."

Eun Sang wondered if he was being serious. Like Young Do, Hyo Shin was impossible to read. His words were always light, distant. Just what secrets did he hide behind that mask of coolness which was so firmly attached to his face?

Hyo Shin pulled the chair next to Eun Sang and sat. He leaned back comfortably as though unperturbed by the nasty glare Young Do threw at him.

"I can't sit next to someone so pretty when she already has a boyfriend," Hyo Shin mused aloud, tapping his fingers on the edge of the table. "I don't want Chan Young to beat me up."

Young Do raised a brow. "So you're saying you want _me_ to beat you up?"

"Why? Are you Eun Sang's boyfriend?" Hyo Shin gave him an amused look. "As far as I know our Eun Sang is single." He leaned closer to her. "And pretty."

Bo Na was indignant. "You too senior?"

"The color of beets looks good on you," Hyo Shin smiled. "Choi Young Do."

"What's this?" Young Do chuckled, his voice deepened by menace. "Are you really going to play this game with me, Lee Hyo Shin?"

"Ooof!" Their senior blew a puff of air that rustled his bangs. It was a mockery of Young Do. "You made me tremble with that voice. I'm impressed."

Young Do leaned forward on the table. "Should I really make you tremble?"

Eun Sang stomped his foot under the table. Young Do turned to her, eyes flashing like lightning. She held his glare with one of her own.

"Your tone is good, Young Do." Hyo Shin said. "But the character is very dark. He's someone that only the protagonist can see and hear. A cursed apparition that torments her and manipulates her. Can you make people visualize their worst nightmare with your voice alone?"

Young Do's smile was feral. "Apparently, I can. Isn't that right, Cha Eun Sang?"

"I didn't write him for you."

"You didn't?" He challenged, "Should I recite a piece of the synopsis? It was so good I even memorized it."

"He's being shallow." Bo Na waved a hand. "Ignore him."

Hyo Shin turned to her. "What a terrifying story. A girl tormented by her imaginary friend. Driven to commit unspeakable crimes. Can there be redemption?"

Eun Sang was thoughtful. She was not sure that she wanted there to be redemption. Perhaps the story was actually about something else, something more simple and yet harder to attain.

"There can always be forgiveness," she said. "I want to show that."

"I disagree," Young Do said fiercely, tilting his head to one side. "There are some things which are beyond forgiveness."

"That may be so," Eun Sang argued with equal fervor. "But forgiveness is for the benefit of the one who does the forgiving. Living with a heart full of resentment is bad."

"Sometimes," his eyes were narrowed at her. "Resentment is all you have to hold on to."

Eun Sang looked at him. She understood his words. She had even seen enough to understand his feelings, to know why he lived the way he did. She could see that resentment had been his fuel. He was a boy who lived trapped in a seemingly beautiful world, under the weight of his name, imprisoned by the crown he'd been born with.

"There are other feelings we can hold onto." Eun Sang took it further. "Resentment can turn us into the very thing we resent."

In that moment he looked at her with an expression she would never forget. Those eyes, which shone with all the emotion he would never admit to with his lips, were murderously fixed on her. She had rubbed salt on his festering wound. She had said words which possibly no one had ever dared to say to his face. Eun Sang, a peasant in their world of royalty, had just struck the prince without lifting a hand. She was mindful of where she was standing. The difference was she no longer cared where she stood.

"Do you think the people she hurt will forgive her for the crimes she committed?"

Eun Sang sat tall. "They may not. But _she_ will forgive the one who drove her into the darkness."

Bo Na cleared her throat. "Why are you two so serious?"

"Let them be." Hyo Shin said, resting his head on his palm. He regarded them with interest. "This is more exciting than I anticipated."

Eun Sang tore her eyes away from Young Do. "What about Kang Ye Sol? She was also writing a synopsis."

Hyo Shin sighed. "And she wrote. A very typical love story. I almost fell asleep reading it. Yours has possibility for triumph, Eun Sang. I want us to go with it. The responsibility of the script falls entirely on you."

She nodded.

"Can you handle it?"

Eun Sang was growing tired of that question. "I wouldn't have volunteered to do it if I couldn't handle it."

Young Do smirked, slipping back into his humor easily. "Our lamb. She is so fierce today. It makes me want to—"

She lifted a finger at him. "Don't even think about finishing that sentence."

"Young Do," Hyo Shin said. "You might want to reconsider participating. Anyone who volunteers for our project will be graded too."

Young Do shrugged one shoulder. "Does it seem like I care about grades?"

"Apparently you have started to care," Hyo Shin grinned.

Bo Na was clearly upset. "I'm still so mad we're being graded like this."

"That's why I'll ask again—"

"I told you," Young Do drawled. "I have nothing to think about. I'll be your bad guy."

"Chan Young volunteered too. Ya, Cha Eun Sang. You better write a perfect script!" Bo Na said regretfully, "I asked Chan Young to play the part of psychiatrist."

Hyo Shin chuckled. "I'd do better in that role."

Eun Sang sighed. Too many people were becoming involved in her problems. This was all happening because of her, because the Chairman liked playing with her.

"Our lamb looks so frightened."

She glared at him. "I could bear it on my own. I just can't stand involving others."

"Hey, Cha Eun Sang," Bo Na said. "No one is blaming you so stop making that pitiful face. We're all friends here. We're not doing anything that you wouldn't do for us."

"But—"

"I volunteer to silence her." Young Do raised a hand.

Bo Na reached over and slapped his arm.

"What Lee Bo Na has said is right," Hyo Shin nodded. "We all have something to prove. We all have something we want to show _someone_. We're just going to do it together."

* * *

After breakfast they finalized some details about the radio drama, including the time frame that Eun Sang had to complete the script. She would have to focus all of her free time on writing and perhaps even cut some work hours to make deadline. It would be difficult to accomplish everything all at once. Eun Sang was confident, however, and most importantly, she was determined. It felt so good to talk with her friends about the project, swapping ideas, and exchanging opinions. Everyone was so serious about contributing thoughts, even Young Do. His creative input surprised her; she never thought he would be full of so many good ideas for a fictional story.

_All those books he has read…_

Bo Na had insisted that Ye Sol should play the part of Ji Eun, the troubled main lead. Young Do had argued against the idea, even threatening to pull out of the project, but Hyo Shin reminded him that he had said with his own mouth that there was nothing to reconsider about his participation. Bo Na explained that Ye Sol was an aspiring actress and that she knew she was talented enough. Young Do agreed to rehearse the first part of the script with Ye Sol but if the chemistry was bad, Bo Na would need to find a replacement. Those terms were accepted because Hyo Shin agreed that chemistry was very important between Ji Eun and her imaginary, evil friend.

Eun Sang had excused herself when Bo Na said that they should be on their way. It was past noon. In the restroom near the kitchen, Eun Sang stared at the door knob with hesitation.

She was wearing Young Do's sweater.

She needed the sweater because it was cold outside.

She hadn't asked him to lend her something because she was supremely embarrassed to do so. Because he would tease her without mercy. Eun Sang couldn't take more of that in one day.

She still had to make it outside. Somehow. She had to go into Bo Na's car. And leave.

Without being spotted by Young Do.

She asked Hyo Shin to distract him. He had agreed without asking why. She reached for the door knob. Quickly, she opened the door and stepped out without realizing that someone was already there. She crashed into him before she could stop herself.

It was Choi Young Do.

The owner of the sweater she had stolen and was wearing.

_I want to disappear._

He was holding a coat in his hand.

"I can explain—"

"Cha Eun Sang," he whispered. His voice deepened. "Right now. Are you wearing _my_sweater?"

"The thing is—"

"Without asking."

"I wanted to but—"

"_Stealing_ it from me."

"I was going to return—"

"Like my heart."

She looked up. "What?"

He was smiling. "Do I always have to say something like that to get you to look at me?"

_Do I always have to do something bad to get your attention?_

Her heart wanted to run away without her. "How can you say those things so easily, Choi Young Do?"

"Why is it so hard for you to hear?"

"You are never serious."

He placed his hand on the door frame, leaning down a bit. "**You** never take me seriously."

_I can't take you serious… I can't._

He gave her a once over. "Our lamb. Why did she pick this sweater out of all the ones in my closet? Specifically this one. Which doesn't even match with your sweatpants."

Eun Sang looked away. "Don't read into it. I've never had time to worry about color coordinating. It just looked really soft and—"

"Making me black bean noodles after I let you go." He took a step closer. Eun Sang took one back. "Coming to me. Becoming a flower."

"It's a poem. Isn't it?"

"_Like I called her name_." He ran his hand up the length of her arm. "_Will someone please—_"

"Don't do this, Choi Young Do."

"What exactly am I doing?"

"Don't play with me."

"Should we be serious then?"

"You can't be serious."

Young Do put the coat over her shoulders, pulling it closely around her body. "Take what you stole, and what I give you."

"Why do your words always feel so heavy?"

"Perhaps because you finally **feel** the weight of them."

* * *

Bo Na didn't say a word to her during the ride to Tan's house. The chauffeur often stole glances at them, possibly finding it awkward that they weren't chatting as usual. Bo Na was often the one who did the most talking. Eun Sang was happy to listen. All her life her best friend had been Chan Young, whom she couldn't talk to about certain things because he was a boy. Eun Sang looked over at Bo Na a few times. She wanted to open up as easily as Bo Na did to her, to talk freely like the good friends they had become, but Eun Sang's heart was lodged in her throat and she found it too hard to actually say anything.

It was only when they were nearing Tan's house that Bo Na turned to her abruptly, and kicked her legs angrily. "Cha Eun Sang!"

"What?"

"You're moving this week and your mom promised me a meal. And now I don't know how I can sit with her when I've lied! You've ruined it for me."

Eun Sang smiled. She was used to Bo Na's passionate words. "Thanks for covering for me."

"Ya! Have you no shame? How could you do this to me?"

"Bo Na?"

"What?"

"Do you want to hear something very strange?"

"What is it?"

"It was really cold outside." Eun Sang hugged herself a bit. "Even with this coat and sweater."

"What are you talking about?"

"But my heart was very warm."

Bo Na turned in her seat to face her.

_I still feel warm…_

"We have arrived," the chauffeur said.

Eun Sang looked at her friend. "Thank you for everything today."

"I'm worried about you, stupid." Bo Na said with a frown.

"I know. I worry about myself too."

Eun Sang got out of the car and shut the door. She waved at her friend. The car pulled away and drove off. Eun Sang already missed Bo Na. The girl had a radiant energy which was contagious. It was hard to feel the burdens of life when she was around Bo Na, a girl full of dreams and optimism. She could complain about a lot, and worry about even more, but Lee Bo Na always had faith. In life, at least, if not in people. It was clear to see why Chan Young was so in love with her.

Taking a deep breath, Eun Sang opened the gate and walked in. Each time she crossed that boundary her heart filled with unease. She felt like an intruder, like an unwelcome guest. She hurried along the courtyard reaching the back entrance to the kitchen in record time. Her mother was making a meal. Eun Sang would have loved to have said, _Mom — I'm home._

But that place wasn't their home.

Eun Sang hugged her mother from behind, resting her chin on her shoulder. "I'm back, mom."

Her mother turned and patted her cheek, her smile tender.

_You must have been very tired last night._

Eun Sang nodded hoping she hadn't blushed.

Her mother looked at her.

_Why is that coat so big?_

Before Eun Sang could answer, the Madam rushed into the kitchen and pulled Eun Sang by the arm. She looked very worried. "Hurry. The Chairman wants to see you. And he's mad. What did you do this time?"

Eun Sang followed the woman to the Chairman's study. She knocked once and said, "Honey, we're coming in," and opened the door.

The Chairman's expression was always impassive. He was sitting behind his desk this time, dressed casually, but looking as intimidating as if he'd worn a business suit. He waved her to come closer, his posture as haughty as ever despite his infirmity.

To the Madam, he said, "Leave us alone."

Only when the door click shut did the Chairman look at her. His eyes always reflected a mixture of disgust and interest which confused her.

"You are more astute than I gave you credit for."

He threw an envelope at her feet. Eun Sang bit the inside of her lip and bent, just as he wanted, to pick it up off the floor. Jeguk's logo was printed on the envelope in beautiful gold.

"Open it."

She did. Pulling out the contents, Eun Sang gasped. It was a pack of photographs. Of her and Young Do. At her workplace. At school. At his hotel. And finally, much to her despair, he had a photo of her and Young Do in front of his house. From yesterday, and this morning. She stuffed the photographs back into the envelope.

"Do you want an heir that much, Cha Eun Sang?"

She fought hard to not say what was truly on her mind. What did he care? How dare he invade her personal life? What right did he have? What did it matter to him what she did with Young Do?

He wasn't his son. He had no right to say anything about them.

"Staying overnight," the Chairman said. "With the heir of Zeus Group. What can I do with such information?"

Eun Sang thought about Young Do's father. About what such a man would do if the Chairman showed him those photographs.

_He's trying to corner you. Scare you. Don't give in, Eun Sang._

"We were working on the assignment you have given me, Chairman."

His lips twitched slightly. "You have learned to talk back." His eyes were blazing. "Do you think that because you have seduced the heir to Zeus Group that you could turn and defy me?"

"It was never my intention to defy you, Chairman." Begrudgingly, Eun Sang bowed her head. "If you don't believe me, please contact our senior, Lee Hyo Shin. We are all working on the project for the broadcast club."

"Do you think that because I am old, I am blind?"

She said nothing.

The Chairman threaded his fingers together. "A peasant like you. A girl with no background. With no outstanding qualities. With no talent or extraordinary beauty. A commoner. Someone insignificant."

Eun Sang clenched her fists.

"Yet you seem to have the sufficient intelligence and cunning necessary. You made it into my house. Into my son's heart. And now you made your way into Zeus Group."

_I never cared about your empires._

"You are proving to be a wise investment, Cha Eun Sang."

She glanced up at him. "What do you mean, Chairman?"

His smile was small, but terrifying. "You can be a very useful weapon if I sharpen you, Cha Eun Sang."


	7. The Fallen Crown

Eun Sang entered the broadcasting room and went straight toward Hyo Shin. She slapped a thick folder on the table causing him to look up at her with curiosity. She had written twenty pages of script for each of the four primary characters of the story. Eun Sang had gone online to research templates adapting one used for playwrights to fit the needs of the radio drama. She pulled out another folder from her book bag and set it next to the folder which Hyo Shin had already begun to inspect.

He glanced at her. "Did you write all of this yesterday? After we met?"

_Not quite after…_

Eun Sang nodded.

"That explains your dark circles."

There were plenty of reasons why Eun Sang could not fall asleep at night. The Chairman was responsible for almost all of them. She had wanted to work herself to the point of exhaustion so that she couldn't give her mind even a chance to dwell on the words which that man had spoken. So that she could not think of the task given her. Just when she thought the Chairman couldn't be more cruel, more viciously invasive, he proved himself more despicable. Her anger and impotence exploded the door of her creativity open. It was a door she had never been able to go through until then. Eun Sang had little to lose and everything to gain. The story had fallen together just as her heart began falling apart. How could she not be moved to try her hardest when the Chairman was willing to try his worst?

"Sung Hyun Joong."

"Who is that?" Bo Na came up to them, looking deflated. "Please tell me it's someone who came to audition. I put up the flyers on Friday and no one has come yet."

"It's only Monday," Hyo Shin said. "Give it time."

"Sung Hyun Joong is the name I gave the ghost," Eun Sang said.

Hyo Shin lifted the script. He was specifically reading Hyun Joong's while glancing over Ji Eun's. He nodded appreciatively. "I want to turn this into a film. I'm quite surprised."

"That's his way of saying he's impressed." Bo Na rolled her eyes. "Senior, is it really so hard to just say you're impressed?"

"It's not hard," he admitted. "But if I praise her too much she may slack off. I want the next pieces to be as good as this. The dialogue is almost more entertaining than your exchanges with Young Do. Almost."

Eun Sang looked away. She opened the second folder. It contained character biographies, a full character list, as well as expanded backstory that had not fit in the synopsis. She handed it to Bo Na.

"You wrote all of this?" Bo Na gasped. "When?"

"Last night of course." Hyo Shin looked over the other scripts. "Can't you see her dark circles?"

Bo Na grabbed Eun Sang's face and looked her over. "Are you crazy? How can you sacrifice sleep? There's still time to write. You can't get sick now. You're moving this weekend."

Eun Sang smiled. "Don't worry. I'll be fine."

Hyo Shin exhaled tiredly. "We have more characters than willing volunteers."

"That's why I will _persuade_ some for you."

_Young Do._

He stood by her side. Her traitorous heart was disastrously agitated just by hearing his voice. She held onto the chair in front of her, closing her eyes for a moment. She could see him vividly even there. She could even guess the expression he wore just by listening to the tone of his voice.

_Crazy girl. Just what are you thinking?_

"We don't want you terrifying the kids into coming!" Bo Na said.

Young Do chuckled. "But isn't fear precisely what I need to cause?"

Hyo Shin slid the script toward him. "You're only supposed to terrify Bae Ji Eun. And maybe a few unsuspecting people by making things move. You know, like a good, haunting ghost."

"Did our lamb write all of this yesterday? Ya. Look at this." Young Do sounded pleased. "These are lines I can feel proud of saying. Why is this bad guy so sexy, Cha Eun Sang? How will people hate him when you've made him so irresistible?"

Eun Sang ignored her frantic heart beats. Young Do was merely being his typical teasing self. There was no real meaning behind it.

_But there is._

"She's so tired," Hyo Shin said with slight amusement. "That she's fallen asleep standing."

"Really?" Young Do placed his palm on her forehead pushing her head toward his shoulder. "Why sleep standing when you can sleep on me?"

Eun Sang immediately pulled away. He was smiling at her. Stupid questions came to mind whenever he was so close. What cologne did he use? Why did it make her feel intoxicated? What would it feel like to run her hands through his perfectly styled hair? Would it anger him to have her disorder it? When had he gotten so tall? How tall was he exactly?

There was a loud knock on the door even though it was open for audition. They all turned to see Tan standing by the entrance looking murderously toward Young Do. His full lips parted in annoyance as he made his way toward them with one of Bo Na's neon flyers in hand.

"I want to audition."

Bo Na looked at Eun Sang.

"You impress me, Kim Tan." Young Do's smile was cold. "To come here and take responsibility for something you've caused. This is so unlike you. I am almost speechless."

Tan turned to Eun Sang. "Why didn't you tell me this was happening?"

"You should have known it would when you texted me."

It was no secret to anyone in that room that the Chairman was doing all of this because of Tan and Eun Sang's past involvement with him. They knew she was being sponsored because she had chosen to leave the boy and take school over him.

"You must be very curious to know what your father is capable of." Young Do said. "What will he do next? Is the curiosity killing you so bad that you are here to find out?"

Eun Sang pulled Young Do back. He had been unconsciously moving toward Tan. The two boys were still prone to fist fights. It was the last thing they needed happening in the broadcasting room. Young Do looked down at her hand on his arm. And so did Tan.

"Don't tell me the parts are taken." He turned to Bo Na. "Because no one will volunteer to risk their grades. So, let me audition."

"That's true. Only someone at the bottom of the class would fearlessly audition like this," Bo Na said.

Young Do smirked. "Kim Tan forgets that I am very persuasive. I can find more people if I set my mind to it."

"Ah, I do forget." Tan said dryly. "You learned that from your father. I heard he's quite persuasive too. He must be so proud that his son turned out _just like him_."

"You two better stop before I toss the both of you out," Hyo Shin warned.

"Aren't you going to give me some lines to read?" Tan asked Bo Na. "What kind of place has no lines ready when people show up to try out?"

Bo Na snatched the list of characters that Eun Sang had printed out. She ran her index finger down the names and then turned to Eun Sang. "Why didn't you write a crazy bastard that tries really hard to befriend Ji Eun in the asylum even though he knows it's bad for her?"

"Make him Lee Shin Ki." Young Do grinned. "The guy I'm going to kill."

Tan's eyes moved to Young Do. "I'll play that part. It's the only time you'll get the satisfaction of killing me, Choi Young Do."

"Oooh. What is that?" Young Do laughed, hands in his pockets. "Are you challenging me to find another time to kill you, Kim Tan?"

"I wasn't kidding when I said I'd toss you out," Hyo Shin said.

"Give me the script. Let me audition."

Hyo Shin sighed. "Give it to him, Bo Na."

Young Do touched his heart. "Your favoritism wounds me, senior."

"And give me a script too!" Myung Soo said at the door.

He was holding his camera in hand, flashing everyone his most winning smile. "I can play anyone at all. Child, man," he flipped his imaginary hair over his shoulder. "Woman."

Eun Sang smiled. Myung Soo was always so refreshingly lighthearted. All the tension in the room seemed to dissolve when he stepped in.

"Even though the radio drama will only use our voices and sound effects," Young Do said. "We need to lure people with a captivating image of the bad guy in a large promotional poster."

Myung Soo lifted his hand. "I volunteer to do all the photography and graphic design. And acting, if you let me. My voice is so sexy that I'll boost the ratings no matter how boring the character is!"

"Then you need to use my face on the poster to attract people," Tan smiled. "This bastard here would scare everyone away."

"You're not even that hot," Bo Na said.

Tan winked at her. "That's not what you thought of me before."

"I had Lasik done."

Young Do bit his lip obviously amused with the situation.

"Don't worry. No matter who is in the poster, I will make them look amazing. I will create the best poster ever seen. Hollywood will be knocking on my door. I can see the sign already."

"How will Hollywood knock on your door?" Young Do reasoned. "Will the mountain where the sign is on detach itself from California and catch a plane to Korea to see you?"

Myung Soo frowned at him. "Stop ruining my dreams with your logic, you bastard."

Ye Sol rushed into the broadcasting room bowing apologetically to Hyo Shin, then to Bo Na. She ignored Eun Sang completely, as usual.

"I told you we were reading the script today!" Bo Na said unhappily.

"I'm sorry," Ye Sol said.

Hyo Shin glanced at her. "I thought you told me you were going to quit when I chose Eun Sang's synopsis over yours. Did you change your mind overnight?"

Ye Sol glanced at Young Do. "I have reasons to stay. Bo Na told me I would be playing Ji Eun."

Hyo Shin sounded disappointed. "So you're staying because you were promised the starring role?"

"You're only going to play that role," Young Do's eyes slid toward Ye Sol. "If you have chemistry with me. If you can keep up with me. Are you ready to find out?"

Hyo Shin went over to Ye Sol and handed her Ji Eun's script. Her hands shook as she took it. Young Do looked over his own lines, flipping through the pages as if looking for something of interest. When he found it, he smiled. He snatched Ye Sol's script and looked through it as well.

"This scene." He handed it back to her. "Let's try this one."

Ye Sol looked over the page. "But this is—-"

"If you can't do this with me now you won't be able to do it with me later."

Bo Na squeezed Ye Sol's shoulder. "Just think you're auditioning for a drama. Fighting!"

Young Do took menacing steps toward Ye Sol, eyes blazing. Eun Sang watched with fascination as he slipped into the character with such frightening ease. He carried himself just as she had imagined. Ye Sol stumbled backwards. Her eyes swept over the page that contained their lines before turning back to Young Do. She looked completely flustered. He approached her the way a predator would right before going for the kill. She seemed more than willing to let him go for her throat.

_That's not the feeling you should have…_

"You can see me," he said, with the exact tone Eun Sang had wanted. It was strangely thrilling to see her work come to life. His smile echoed in his voice. "You haven't been able to stop thinking about me."

Young Do cornered Ye Sol against the wall. The girl looked at him tentatively. She seemed completely smitten by him.

"Last night, while gasping in your dreams—-" Young Do ran his thumb across Ye Sol's lower lip. Her flush was so embarrassingly obvious. "—-were those dreams about me?"

Ye Sol was so stunned that she wasn't breathing. She looked down nervously at the script. Her lips trembled as she recited with difficulty. "You… y-you're not. Real. No one can see. You."

"Cut!" Hyo Shin sighed. "Ji Eun is not supposed to stutter like that. Are those even the words to be said? Didn't you read the emotion in the brackets?"

Ye Sol bit her lip. "I didn't have time to read them."

"Eun Sang," Hyo Shin turned to her. "She's supposed to feel a mix of fright and fascination, isn't she? She's not supposed to sound so terrified. Or did I read it wrong?"

Eun Sang nodded. "In the past, in her childhood, she had many imaginary friends who seemed as real as Hyun Joong. She isn't sure if her mind is playing tricks again or not. Ji Eun is more worried than scared. She has no reason to fear him… yet."

Ye Sol glared at her. "I didn't even have time to look over the script!"

"Stop making excuses." Young Do said. "None of us had time to prepare. Was my performance disappointing because of that reason?"

"You were good, Young Do." Myung Soo threw two thumbs up, smiling. "You made my heart flutter!"

"You can't play with me, Kang Ye Sol."

She looked away from Young Do. Her humiliation was evident. She took a seat to the far side of the room, near Tan. She noticed that Tan had been looking at her.

Young Do turned around. He headed toward Eun Sang with the same menacing steps which he had taken toward Ye Sol. His eyes were burning through her with a mischievous fire. He repeated the lines with the same fervor pushing her against the table with his body. Eun Sang's heart pounded against his chest. Could he feel it? Could he see it in her eyes?

_You make me feel this way._

"You haven't been able to stop thinking about me." His voice became frighteningly deep. The words were laced with so much meaning that she didn't know what was real or fiction. "Last night, while gasping in your dreams—" He ran his thumb across her lips. "—were those dreams about me?"

Eun Sang stared into his eyes, taking in all the raw emotion buried within the deep brown of his irises. He looked as dangerous as he sounded. He was regarding her as though this were more than a rehearsal and as if they weren't in a room full of friends, and even enemies. His eyes fell to her lips, his thumb still lingering at the corner.

_Just the two of us…_

"You're not real." She felt so bewitched. "No one can see you. Even I can only see you because I'm sick."

"Are you really sick?" His thumb slid across her jaw line. "Isn't that an excuse?"

She pushed at his chest. "You are nothing more than a vivid figment of my imagination."

He placed his hand over hers. "Can you touch your imagination, Ji Eun?"

The way he said the name was like a caress. He had called her name once with that same voice, with that same emotion. His hand slid up her arm, around her neck, pulling her closer.

"Can your imagination make you tremble the way you're trembling?"

Was she shaking? Had she written those lines? Was this really her work? Why was he touching her? They were only supposed to recite the lines. No one would see their actions when the drama went live. The narrator would be the one to describe the scenes.

"Are you scared of me?"

"No," she whispered. "I don't fear what cannot hurt me."

He gripped her arm painfully tight. Eun Sang yelped.

"Did I just hurt you, Ji Eun?" He licked his upper teeth with satisfaction. "Tomorrow when your skin bruises will it also be your imagination?"

His smile was as taunting as his voice. "You should be scared, Ji Eun. I will make you do everything I want. And you will take the fall for me."

Myung Soo broke out in applause after snapping a photo of them. "Ya! Young Do! How did you memorize all that so quickly?"

Young Do glanced at his friend. "What can I say?" He turned back to Eun Sang. "It's like the writer pulled words that were buried deep within my black heart."

Tan scoffed. Eun Sang looked at him. He had crumpled the flyer in his fist.

"Cha Eun Sang." Bo Na's seemed worried. "You're totally Bae Ji Eun. How can anyone else play her but you?"

"That's what I told everyone yesterday at breakfast," Young Do's eyes met Tan's. "Only Cha Eun Sang can be the Ji Eun to my Hyun Joong."

"Do you think you can handle both responsibilities, Eun Sang? Writing and acting?" Hyo Shin's smile was mysterious. "I also can't imagine someone else having better chemistry with Young Do."

Young Do pulled away a fraction to let her stand upright. She cursed herself for having memorized the lines. They had been so close to her heart that it had been impossible to forget them. It was obvious that it had been exactly what Young Do had wanted — to make her say the words she had taken from her own heart, to make her into Ji Eun.

Ye Sol crossed her arms. "This is unbelievable. What am I supposed to do then?"

Bo Na went over the character list. "There is still a need for someone to play Kim Mae Ri, the woman whom Hyun Joong killed himself for. She's also the one who will send Ji Eun to an asylum for murdering Lee Shin Ki."

"Fine. I'll play that part." Ye Sol raised a brow at Eun Sang. "It should come easy."

Hyo Shin lifted a hand. "I am taking the role of the psychiatrist."

Bo Na shrugged. "Chan Young can play Ji Eun's brother then."

"Rehearsals can be done at my studio," Myung Soo offered. "It'll be more comfortable than coming to school for that. I can help with sound effects and music too. You guys will need that to build the suspense."

Eun Sang's heart was filled with gratitude. Things were starting to come together even while falling apart.

Bo Na turned to Tan. "Do you still want to audition?"

* * *

Eun Sang decided not to eat at the cafeteria. She looked for a quiet spot under a tree in the garden area and ate the snack she had bought at the convenience store near Tan's house. Her thoughts went to that stubborn boy. How could he volunteer to be a part of the very situation his father had created because of him? What would the Chairman do when he found out that Tan still persisted on being close to her? Was Tan delusional enough to believe that his actions would help her? That if he was part of the project it would somehow lessen the sting of the whip the Chairman broke on her back? Did he think his presence would somehow prevent his father from truly ruining her in order to not ruin Tan along with her?

The Chairman would throw both of them into the ocean to drown if it meant Tan learned his place once and for all. The difference was that the Chairman would pull out his son seconds before he died but Eun Sang would be left to drown. How could Tan still not understand this much? How could he not care? She had been so clear in rejecting his heart, leaving no room for even hope that they could ever be together again. Why didn't he accept that?

"Is our lamb avoiding me again?"

Her heart sunk painfully.

Young Do sat beside her leaning against the tree trunk. He shivered. "Why do you always like to be out in the cold?"

"You can go back in if you hate it so much."

He glanced at her. "Are you worried about Kim Tan? Should I kill him for you like Hyun Joong killed Shin Ki? I promise I won't frame you for it."

"How did you find me here?"

He smiled cutely, cupping his face. "You forget I'm a ghost only you can see."

"I'm being serious."

"How can the wolf not know where his lamb is?" He gave her a look and crossed his arms. "You didn't think I would notice that you're purposefully trying to cover your tracks from me again?"

"How did you memorize the lines so quick?"

"And you're answering with questions again." He leaned closer and smiled. "How could you write things I would say if I were a vengeful ghost?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Ya!" He took the wrinkled plastic from her hand. "How many times do I have to tell you that the other one is tastier? Do you really like this one so much? And why are you eating just this? Are you on a diet? I thought I told you that wolves like—-"

"Young Do."

"It never ends well when you call me like that."

"I have something to tell you."

"I don't know." He shrugged away from her. "If it's something bad just send me an email. It hurts too much when I hear bad things from your lips. Makes me want to—-"

"Don't finish that sentence."

"You never let me express my passion to you." He frowned. "I'm going to explode one of these days if I keep it all inside. You're really going to make me a ghost that way. And I will haunt you."

_You already do that._

She wanted to smile at his jokes. Now that she had begun to understand his sense of humor, she had been able to laugh genuinely. Now that she knew there was more to him than met the eyes, Eun Sang wanted to keep discovering what was hidden beneath his rough exterior. She wanted to know why his eyes held so much pain sometimes or why he felt so far away at others. She wanted to understand the logic of a boy who would ruin the lockers of all the students in school just to punish an anonymous bad person among them.

Now that she was no longer afraid of him, that she no longer resented him — everything she wanted to do with him had become twisted by the Chairman. He had charged her with the task of staying by Young Do's side, growing closer to him for a devious purpose. All the things she had wanted to do sincerely had become the things the Chairman had imposed on her to accomplish.

"Cha Eun Sang," he whispered. "Why are your eyes tearful?"

"Because I'm very angry."

_And tired._

She looked around. Were they watching them at that very moment?

"Right now," she whispered. "Everything I do will be seen. Everything I do will be used against me."

_And you…_

"Even though I want to laugh with you, and share meals with you, and even know about you now that I can look at you," she said. "All these things that are sincere can be made to look insincere. They can be made into something ugly."

He only looked at her.

Eun Sang opened her book bag and pulled out the envelope that the Chairman had thrown at her. She took a deep breath and handed it to Young Do. His eyes fell on the logo of Jeguk. It seemed like he knew, without even opening it, where this was all going. In his world this practice was common.

"How can I do all those things now that he has ordered me to do them?"

Young Do opened the envelope and pulled out the photographs. He pressed his lips together going through each one carefully. He pulled one up to his face and grinned. "I'll have to thank him for capturing a moment I never want to forget."

Eun Sang looked over. It was a photograph of the night in which Young Do had kissed her in front of her workplace. The night she had discovered Young Do was a boy from a luxurious but broken home. Eun Sang tried to take it from him but Young Do slipped it inside the inner pocket of his coat.

"If you want it," he smiled daringly. "Come and take it from me."

"Is this the time to be playing?"

"Or I can kiss you again and you can wait for him to print out the second batch of pictures if you want one so much."

"Choi Young Do."

"If you tell me that you didn't eat with me at the cafeteria because of the Chairman I may just have to take revenge on him for ruining my lunch by sending him food with laxatives."

"Are you crazy?"

"If you tell me that you're not going to see me because you don't want to become the Chairman's sword against me," his voice lost all humor. "Then I'll have to take revenge on him for taking someone that I like by taking someone he likes."

"You can't be serious."

"I've only bluffed once in my life." He admitted, "This isn't the time."

"I don't want you to fight the Chairman. This isn't your battle."

"He just made it my battle." Young Do tilted his head to the side. "Were you planning to not see me because of him?"

"I wanted to see you," she confessed. "But do you understand what it means? I feel so guilty I can't even look at you. How can I act like nothing has changed when he expects me to become as close to you as you will let me? When he will ask questions that I don't want to give him answers to… how can I do this?"

_**How far you can climb. I want to see, Cha Eun Sang. Go as high as he will let you. Be my eyes at Zeus. My ears. And when the time comes be the dagger in the dark. Pay me back twice what I invest and I will set you free.**_

"You will tell him the answers I want you to give him."

"He wants me to hurt you," she clarified. "That's the price he has set for my freedom."

"Do you want to hurt me?"

She shook her head.

He smiled a little. "But you want your freedom."

"Of course I want that, Choi Young Do."

"Should I help you get it, Cha Eun Sang?"

"I'm not going to do what he's asked of me in order to get it."

"Do you really want to keep seeing me?"

Eun Sang looked at him. "I have to see you. We're working—-"

"Do **you** _want_ to see me?"

"What if he shows these photos to your father?"

"I was planning to frame this photo," he patted his pocket. "And put it on my nightstand. The maids will see it and eventually it will make it to my father. Rumors fly quickly when it comes to women."

"You don't even have any photos in your room."

"No one has been worth framing."

_How about your mother?_

Eun Sang closed her eyes. "Stop saying things like that."

"When I said I liked you did you think I was speaking empty words?"

She resented his tone because it sounded offended when he shouldn't be. How could she have taken him seriously back then? He was Choi Young Do — the boy who had called Rachel his sexy step sister with a tone that implied anything but fraternal feelings.

"Did you think I would pursue you to play with you in the shadows, Cha Eun Sang?"

"Why wouldn't you play in the shadows with someone like me?" She sighed. "I'm not the one who ridiculed kids lower than my social status in a chair in the cafeteria just for fun."

"You would bring that up." He shook his head in mock disappointment. "I guess that this is what it means to have the past come back to haunt you. I am devastated."

"Even now you're joking."

"Can you handle me when I am being serious?" His eyes lingered on hers. "Every time I say—"

"Because I'm afraid of believing you!" She was finally able to say the truth with her mouth. "I'm afraid of what you make me feel, Choi Young Do. It's _terrifying_."

"Have I been showing my heart to a wall all this time? If it was not clear before I will make it clear now: I never intended to hold your hand in secret. There is nothing to be afraid of when I hold your hand, Cha Eun Sang."

"Your father—"

"My father can't say a word concerning women." His eyes looked away, as if remembering something painful. "He has no right. I've let him do everything else. Except in this matter."

"You are a heir, Choi Young Do. You have a crown. A crown that someone like me can't share with you. The moment I stand by your side it will fall. The Chairman knows this. This is why he wants me by your side. He wants to remind me I can't aspire to anything with people who have crowns as big as yours. Not his son. Not you. Not anyone. He wants me to see what happens when I am allowed to play with people like you."

"Then let my crown fall, Cha Eun Sang. Why do you worry?" He looked exasperated. "Is it your crown? Are you the one who is going to lose it? Why do you care so much about something that is mine? I can do with that crown as I please. Don't draw lines that I have already crossed."

"But who will pay for your fallen crown, Choi Young Do?"

Did he not know what happened in these situations? Did he really forget? Eun sang pushed on, "Am I not paying for the crown that has fallen from Kim Tan's head? How will this be any different?"

He was indignant. "Are you trying to provoke me right now? How will this be any different? Did those words really come out of your mouth?"

"I never said I wouldn't see you."

Eun Sang curled her fingers into fist. She would dare to say what was truly in her heart. At least once. At least this time.

"I wasn't avoiding you on purpose. I was embarrassed. I was trying to think of a way to tell you this. I don't want you to misunderstand me in the future. If one day the Chairman comes to you and says that I was by your side with hidden motives I don't want you to believe him. Because when I made you a meal I did so with an honest heart. And when you asked me to stay…"

The words knotted in her throat. Remembering that night, seeing him so vulnerable for the first time, it made her heart constrain painfully. Even living in glory he was a prisoner; they were both residents in hell.

_I felt your pain._

His desire to have an anchor made her realize they were both in desperate situations. She recognized his need and related to him. She understood him in that very moment. Everything which had been absurd about him made sense. Eun Sang had stayed for that glimmer of hope she saw in his eyes. Because she wanted that glimmer to grow into a dazzling light. Because she wanted to see more of his honest smile. Because she didn't want him to become the monster his heart was full of hatred toward. She had stayed because…

_I wanted to._

"When you asked me to stay," she said again. "It was my choice. I didn't stay because it was the price I was willing to pay for my freedom. And in the future it won't be my reason. I may desperately want to be free but not at that price. I wanted you to know this. Because he will push me to you and I may not be able to stay away."

His eyes held more emotion than her heart could ever take. Eun Sang knew that even though it was completely ridiculous and illogical, this boy had truly come to like her. She could see it in the way he looked at her. She could hear it in the unspoken words that hung between them. She could feel it in her bones whenever they touched. Against all odds and possibly even his better judgment, Young Do liked her. And she couldn't fool herself anymore.

She hadn't wanted to believe him. She had wanted to pretend his feelings were transitory. That perhaps he pursued her because she was not easy to attain and it had become a challenge to conquer her. She thought he was coming to her because it made Tan angry, because they did things to hurt each other. She wanted to believe in every logical excuse because believing his sincerity was painful. It was dangerous.

It was easier for her to pretend his feelings were not real.

_Not anymore. Not when you look at me that way._

His eyes said everything she refused to acknowledge in his words. It was impossible to look away. Every second that went by she found it harder to tear herself from those eyes. From him. Had the Chairman noticed it?

"Cha Eun Sang," he whispered. "Just what are you doing to the heart of this wolf?"

_What are __**you**_ _doing to me?_

She sighed. "What are we going to do?"

His smile was small but full of satisfaction. "I like it when you say that word. We. It makes me want to—-"

She gave him a look.

He didn't finish the sentence.

"The Chairman has the audacity to use someone who isn't his son as a lesson to teach someone that isn't his daughter." Young Do raised a brow. His eyes were on the envelope. "Should we play his game? The prize is enticing. What I could do with a free Cha Eun Sang."

"How could I do that to you?"

"He is sharpening you. When you are the sharpest weapon in his arsenal make him repent having made you so deadly."

She thought back to his father. "Is that what you are doing?"

His smile was wicked. "The Chairman doesn't want to destroy the heir, Cha Eun Sang. He is playing for much bigger stakes. You are just a means to an end. A weapon to slay two birds in one sweep. He wants to destroy Zeus Group. And it's my father's head under that crown."


	8. Full Moon

Eun Sang clasped her hands together after having filled the last box with her school books. She sighed and looked around. All of their belongings were packed and ready to be moved. It was almost surreal that they were finally leaving Tan's house. She remembered how angry she had been when they became another secret to be kept in that impressive mansion. She would no longer have to hide through the halls to remain unseen by those who thought her a nuisance. The Madam would no longer be able to remind her that she ought to be cooperative and docile because they were being charitable toward her. Eun Sang and her mother would be able to begin living as they had before becoming tangled with Jeguk Group. And while she wasn't completely liberated, Eun Sang hoped that one day she would be able to cut the tentacles that pulled her deeper into a world she longed to get out of.

Her mother left a framed photograph on top of the shortest pile of boxes. She took it in her hands. It was a photo of their family that had been taken before her father fell ill. They were all smiling. It felt like an eternity had passed since the day it had been taken. Back when her family had been whole, when her sister had been her inspiration and when Eun Sang had innocently believed they could always smile so easily. How quickly had that innocence been tarnished by reality. It seemed that fate was intent on taking all the things that mattered most to her. First it had been her father, then her sister, and now it threatened to take her future. She could at least fight for the latter.

When you are the sharpest weapon in his arsenal make him repent having made you so deadly.

Did she really want to live with that objective? Did she truly want revenge to be what powered her determination to keep moving forward? Was she willing to lose herself just to prove that she was more than a pawn on a game board?

_Do you want to become the very thing you are fighting against?_

As much as Eun Sang hated the way the Chairman treated her she didn't want resentment to drive her. She didn't want to become as bitter as the Chairman had become after living a life in which he could not even trust his family. That was the type of world these heirs lived in. A world in which the only person they could trust was themselves. A world where affections were a luxury that they couldn't afford despite their money. It was a sad, lonely world.

_Dad. What should I do?_

She ran her fingers over her father's smiling face. He had loved them with such devotion and dedication. He had been a spirited man. Always optimistic. Even at his deathbed he had never lost hope. She missed his gentle voice and the warmth of his arms. She missed the way he would console her and encourage her through trying times. She missed the way he lit the lamp of hope when the wind blew the flame out.

Her mother placed a hand on her shoulder and wiped a tear from her cheek. Eun Sang sniffled. She hadn't even realized she was crying.

"Mom."

Her mother's eyes were luminous with unshed tears as she longingly gazed at the photograph. Sometimes Eun Sang forgot that her mother had also lost half of her family as well. She had lost her soul mate. She had lost a daughter. It wasn't a solitary pain; both shared the losses.

_I didn't package it because I want to take it in my hands. To make sure it stays safe._

"We have to preserve the good memories."

Her mother held her hand. Though she could not speak, though she didn't sign her words, Eun Sang could hear them. _It will be alright._

"Mom. I'll make sure that we're able to make many new memories from now on. Your daughter will work hard to make sure we can smile a lot."

Her mother nodded. She believed in her.

_Let's go outside. The truck should be here soon. I don't want them to ring the bell for our sake._

The two walked out of the room together. They had each other. The world could fall apart but if her mother was by her side Eun Sang could survive. Her mother's love was enough incentive to give her the necessary courage to try her hardest. Revenge didn't have to drive her. She would fight the Chairman because he was attacking her. She would defend herself as any person would in the same situation, but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of making her into someone she didn't want to become. She would not let him have control over the only thing his money could not afford or corrupt: her heart.

As they crossed the courtyard, Eun Sang glanced over her shoulder. The boy who had once been a pleasant summer dream was standing by the window. She understood his heart, and his loneliness. She understood his feelings. Eun Sang only wished he could understand her with equal clarity. Their eyes met. He pulled off the dream catcher from the window and let it drop from his hand. She wondered if this time he truly meant it. She hoped with all her heart that it would be the beginning of his growth as a person, and not the end of it.

_Good bye, Kim Tan. Live well._

Inhaling a deep breath, Eun Sang turned away and walked forward. Her mother squeezed her arm in a gesture of support. Life was an ever changing moment. Change was not always bad, she decided. Even the worst possible turn of events could lead to unexpectedly good outcomes. As they stood on the street, with the bitter cold cutting their cheeks, Eun Sang felt hope burn steadily in her heart. Just as it always did in her father's heart. She did not know what she had to do but she knew what she should not do at least.

_I think it will snow today._

Eun Sang looked up at the sky. Her mother's prediction could turn true. It certainly felt like the first snow of winter would fall.

In the distance she heard the familiar rumbling sound of a motor. Her heart agitated into a fierce gallop. The orange motorcycle came into view, followed by a black sedan, and finally a large moving truck. Her mother was perplexed.

_It's your friend. The motor bike boy._

He parked a few feet away, across the street. He got off his motorcycle and removed his helmet. Eun Sang met his eyes for a moment. Even though he wore his most harmless expression she could see the dangerous twinkle in his eyes. He would never be a tame wolf.

Young Do walked to them. This was the first time they were meeting for reasons that had nothing to do with the radio drama. The week had passed in a stressful blur of school, work, and rehearsals at Myung Soo's studio. The team met religiously every afternoon. All of them put in their best effort, offering their finest ideas to make the entire drama work harmoniously. Even Ye Sol had left her jealousy aside and focused on making the best of her character.

Young Do held his hands together and gave her mother a respectful bow. "Good morning, mother. I'm Choi Young Do. I didn't introduce myself properly last time."

Her mother bowed awkwardly at him. She looked up at Eun Sang, embarrassment wrinkling her features. _Did you ask your friend for this favor?_

As if sensing her mother's discomfort, Young Do said. "I was the one to offer my help, mother. I hope you don't feel troubled."

But he hadn't offered help. Eun Sang had arranged the move with Chan Young.

Her mother glanced at her.

_Is this boy your classmate?_

Eun Sang nodded.

"Please sit in the car while we load your belongings, mother." Young Do said. "It's too cold for you to stand here."

Eun Sang could hardly believe the kindness laced through his voice. Her mother seemed to hesitate. Young Do took the initiative and gently ushered her toward the car. He opened the door and helped her inside. She looked like a fish out of water sitting in a car that she had only ever seen her employers use. Eun Sang wondered what her mother was thinking.

Young Do was a boy.

A boy who obviously had money.

A boy she had never spoken to her about.

A boy that made her heart race stupidly fast.

_The boy you cooked for._

A few men descended from the moving truck. Professional movers. Eun Sang marched up to Young Do. He met her halfway.

"Choi Young Do. Just what are you doing?"

"Showing the Chairman just how our lamb has stirred the heart of this big, bad wolf."

His smile was pleasant. He looked at the exterior of Tan's house as though appreciating the structure.

"He is probably watching us right now. To make me come here. And help you. He must be pleased with how quickly your charms have seduced me."

Eun Sang remembered the cameras. She remembered they were going to play the Chairman's game together. This was part of the act.

Young Do tilted his head to the side. "Though I think I should make you seduce me. To make it look more credible."

She rolled her eyes. "It's too early to be joking, Choi Young Do."

"And she rejects me again." Amusement lit his eyes. "Treat me kindly in front of the cameras, Cha Eun Sang. It would be better if you did it sincerely too. How will the Chairman believe you're seducing me when you speak to me so scornfully?"

She was tempted to turn toward the camera. Young Do slung an arm over her shoulder and pushed her inside. She heard the movers follow behind them.

"Don't ever look at the cameras. Don't even look around for a photographer when you're outside." He whispered. "Don't make it obvious that you remember you are being followed, or that you told me."

"Did you really have to do this though?" Eun Sang glanced behind her at the movers. "I hardly have enough things to fill a third of that truck."

"You're lucky I didn't buy you furniture." He chuckled. "Or a house."

"I would kill you."

"I'm spending money on you like a smitten heir would. The Chairman knows a lot about this game, as you know. Smitten heirs don't know the meaning of little, inexpensive, inconspicuous, or respectful. They can only see their own passion and act on it without regard for the poor girl whose world they are going to remodel whether she likes it or not."

"You're not like that." She firmly believed it. "You aren't the type of person who would buy someone's affection."

_That's probably what your father does. _

He glanced at her. For a moment he said nothing and walked on.

"Our lamb will monopolize this heart if she keeps saying words like those. Are you that ambitious, Cha Eun Sang? Is part of my heart too little a piece to take?"

"Are your words any less provoking?"

He kept saying she was making his heart sway, making him feel but did he not realize the impact of his own actions?

He licked his lips. "Do I provoke you?"

_It's more than that…_

"You should have told me you would do this."

"And miss the shocked expression on your face?" His grin was devious. "I like doing things that only I know about."

"But I had asked Chan Young—"

"I exercised great kindness by calling him to inform that I would be moving you instead." He raised a brow at her. "I would really like it if you called me for things like this, Cha Eun Sang. It hurts my feelings that you prefer the help of someone else's boyfriend."

"That boyfriend was my friend first."

"Ya. Cha Eun Sang." He chuckled. "You truly are ambitious. Are you competing against me for Chan Young's affections? This is hardly fair. How will our Bo Na ever get a wink of sleep when the two of us are pursuing him this fervently?"

Eun Sang smacked his arm. And then she caught herself.

Young Do came to a halt, dropping his arm off her shoulders. His eyes slid up to meet hers. "Did our lamb just strike the wolf?"

His eyes could be as fearsome as they could be beautiful. She had crossed a line she could no longer come back from.

"I did!" She challenged. "So what? You tripped me twice and threw me into the pool."

"Are you getting revenge on me?" He sounded delightfully pleased. "Because I can share with you some of my weak spots. For example—"

"Don't even say another word."

He inched forward. "There are more effective ways of silencing me. Should I demonstrate?"

Eun Sang walked past him. He made everything sound like an indecent proposal.

Young Do caught her arm. "Where are you going?"

"My room."

"The front door isn't that way."

She turned to him. "I don't go through the front door."

His smile faltered. "Do you know who you are with, Cha Eun Sang? I am not someone who goes through the back door. And in my presence you will never go through a back door either."

Young Do reached for her hand and pulled her toward him. He slung his arm over her shoulder again in a half embrace. He headed for the entrance to the main house. She tried to detach herself but his grip was firm.

"Ya! Let go! Are you crazy?"

"The only time we will go through the back door is if we're running away from the police."

"Why would we do that?"

"Because I always want to do illegal things." He winked at her. "And like Hyun Joong to Ji Eun — I'll find ways to persuade you to do dangerous things with me."

"Choi Young Do." She tried to reason. "I don't want to have more troubles."

"I am showing the Chairman just how passionate you make me." He pulled the front door open and pushed her inside. "How boldly stupid you've made me."

"You're not stupid."

He smiled. "He doesn't need to know that."

* * *

Eun Sang sat next to her mother in Young Do's car. A soft instrumental piece played in the background. Her mother looked out the window absorbed in her thoughts. Eun Sang allowed herself to do the same. She saw Young Do riding ahead of the car on his motorcycle. His jacket was hardly sufficient to buffer the temperature. Did he do it on purpose? To make her worry? From experience she knew the temperature felt even colder when riding.

The memories flooded her.

How fast he had gone. How crazily her heart beat against his back. What it had felt like to hold him tight. How terrified she had been on the ride and yet how disappointed she felt when it had been over.

The way he kissed her.

Eun Sang sighed and closed her eyes. Ever since they had started rehearsing for the radio drama she could hardly stop thinking about that kiss.

Young Do took the role with surprising professionalism and dedication. He asked her questions, he worked with her, he pushed her to write better lines — to act with more passion. He was the electricity that powered her muse. He insisted that they had to truly get into character by practicing more than just their voices. He said that he needed to move around, to touch her, to feel himself entirely as Hyun Joong — at least once — in order to capture and convey the appropriate emotions when the drama went live. Hyo Shin hadn't opposed to this method even when Eun Sang had hoped that he would. The audience wouldn't see them — the physical inclusion was unnecessary. It was torment.

Hyo Shin, however, seemed particularly interested in their aggressive rehearsals. He had even begun recording them with his video camera. Hyo Shin gave them copies of the sessions so that they could study their strengths and weaknesses as actors. He said they could use the video to play back when the drama went live.

_To remember what it felt like when he was near you. So you can replicate the emotion with your voice when he's no longer able to touch you._

Touch. She could still feel his touch on her skin, the whisper of his breath, the feel of his body against hers. His voice swirled in her mind blending into real memories with frightening resemblance. Had she really written Hyun Joong for Young Do? Could Ji Eun's conflicted emotions be a mirror to her own? Was she crazy?

Her mother placed a hand over hers. She had been fidgeting. _Why are you so anxious?_

Eun Sang shook her head. "I'm not anxious. I'm worried."

Her mother looked ahead. _What kind of boy is he?_

In her heart there were many words for Young Do. Words that she was often too afraid of speaking because they could never be taken back. The moment she said them with her own mouth they would become real. And if they became real she could no longer deny them.

"Someone I didn't understand," she finally said. It wasn't untrue. "Someone I'm afraid of understanding."

_Does he eat well? He looks a bit thin._

Eun Sang could still see the brilliant smile Young Do had given her when he tasted the first meal she had cooked for him. How that smile lit his face and how his eyes shone with such honest gratitude, she would never forget it.

"I don't think he eats well."

Her mother looked sad. She knew better than most that oftentimes money could not give real, lasting happiness. She saw it in the Madam, in the Chairman, in Kim Won, and even Kim Tan. She probably recognized the same in Young Do.

_He must be used to the cold when he can ride in this weather._

Young Do's world was very cold. The weather possibly paled in comparison to the temperature in which Young Do had kept his heart. It pained Eun Sang to realize this now. How could she not have seen it sooner? In all those prideful kids at Jeguk there was an underlying sadness that their wealth could not hide. There was a loneliness, an emptiness and even a bitterness. There were reasons that pushed those kids to act as they did. Reasons which Eun Sang hadn't wanted to give a second thought to. Some things, regardless of circumstances, were inexcusable. And even still there were many things which she could not excuse Young Do for. There were still parts of him which worried her. There was still a bit of fear that the cruelty she'd once seen in him was too deeply rooted to be plucked.

The car came to a halt. They had arrived to their new home. Eun Sang and her mother had tried exceptionally hard to secure the deposit for this modest apartment which was ideally located for an easy commute to school and work. It wasn't a very large apartment nor was the neighborhood impressive, but it was their own space — away from the Chairman. That made it feel like a palace.

The chauffeur opened the door for her. Young Do had come around to help her mother out. She thanked him more easily this time, less embarrassed. She let him guide her down the stairs and toward the entrance of their apartment. He said something to her and she smiled.

_What is this?_

Eun Sang watched as the men started unloading the boxes into the apartment. She tried to take hold of one of them but the movers took it from her and explained this was a job they had been paid to do. She let them do it. Eun Sang understood the pride of workers who simply wished to do their job without special consideration. In a matter of minutes they moved all the boxes into the apartment. They bowed at her before getting back on the truck and driving away. The chauffeur — who had been standing diligently by the car — also paid his respects to her and drove away.

Just then snow began to fall.

She glanced at Young Do's motorcycle. It would be covered in snow soon.

Eun Sang hugged herself and went inside. It was strange to see a man's shoes by the door again. She left hers by his. The scene that greeted her was so strange.

Young Do and her mother were working with impressive synchronicity at unpacking the essentials. He handed the pots and pans to her. Her mother arranged them quickly in the cupboards. He put the plates and utensils in the spaces which her mother pointed to. Eun Sang watched him carry boxes to the bedroom, and even the bathroom. He asked her questions about placement. Her mother wrote answers in her notebook. He patiently waited to read them. Young Do was helping her in an unpretentious way. Even when he claimed he'd come as a show for the Chairman, bringing movers and an expensive truck, she could see it was more than that. The sincerity in his kindness toward her mother was not an act. The respectful manner in which he waited for her, looked at her — it was very real.

He was helping a maid of someone else's house with mundane tasks. With tasks that he had never needed to do himself because he had always had someone do those tasks for him. Eun Sang watched him step into her world — a world of poverty and hardships — as though he had never been a part of a better world. Young Do blended into that small, dusty apartment with such beautiful ease that she couldn't stop looking at him. Was he really there? Was it really him?

He was smiling.

And laughing.

Her mother was also smiling.

Her previous embarrassment and apprehension had completely dissolved.

She treated him as comfortably as she did Chan Young — a boy she'd known all his life.

Eun Sang's heart clenched painfully.

_What is the wolf doing to the heart of this lamb?_

Young Do glanced over his shoulder at her.

His smile fell.

Did he even know what she was feeling? Did he even comprehend what he was doing?

_What are you doing to me?_

Eun Sang disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door tight. She slid down and sat on the floor. The urge to cry was uncontrollable. She sobbed into the sleeve of her coat. It had been such a long time since anyone had shown her mother true, disinterested kindness. Her mother had always been ridiculed by people. Taken advantage of. She had always been treated like trash because of her disability. No one ever gave her a chance to show her capacity because no one wanted to see beyond her apparent flaw. Her sister had been embarrassed to have a mute mother. Even Eun Sang, at a time, had felt burdened by her disability. Some days she still felt burdened. She could not deny it even though it made her feel guilty.

Young Do — the boy who had abused those of a lesser condition than him — was in her humble home, smiling at her mother the way he had smiled when Eun Sang cooked for him. He wasn't mocking her or humiliating her. He wasn't using her secrets against her anymore. He wasn't threatening her. He wasn't hurting her.

And yet Eun Sang still felt pain.

_Do you like Choi Young Do?_

There was a soft knock on the door. Eun Sang stood and went to the sink. She splashed cold water on her face. Apparently Young Do had unpacked some towels. She took one of them and patted her face. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door. He was standing there.

He gave her a once over. "Are you okay?"

She exhaled a ragged breath. "Not really."

He seemed surprised by her admission. She looked up at him. He was so tall. So much taller than her. It would probably feel nice to be held by him. To rest her head on his chest and —

"Cha Eun Sang." He lifted a hand to run his thumb across her cheekbone. "Were you crying?"

"No."

"You are still a terrible liar." He poked her nose. "It gets red when you cry."

"If you know then why do you ask?"

"Because admitting things builds trust."

"Is that so?" She bit her lip. "Then why did you really come here? The Chairman can't see what is happening inside so—"

"Before the Chairman's threat—" His eyes darkened. "—I had already started this."

_Why? Why did you start this?_

"Be honest with yourself, Cha Eun Sang."

_Why can't I walk away from you?_

"Do you want the truth?"

It was choking her. It was like having a thorn lodged in her throat. Her feelings had been changing slowly and secretly. When he let go of her hand she realized he hadn't been a nuisance to her. She hadn't been annoyed by him. She hadn't feared him anymore by then.

She had been disappointed.

She had felt impotent because he had forced her into a situation that she had no control over. Because he was being no different than the Chairman who thought his power and money was excuse enough to make her into a puppet. That was what hurt the most. That Young Do had been incapable of holding her hand without forcing her arm.

_I just wanted to know you, Cha Eun Sang._

And she wanted to know him too. She could no longer deny that. Seeing him — a glimpse of the real him — had made it impossible for her to let him go. Because she wanted to know him. The real Young Do. The person who was capable of laughing without mischievousness. The person who could bleed and bruise despite how indestructible he pretended to be. The person who could let her go even when he had wanted to keep her.

"I am disconcerted," she began. "The person I thought you were is fading away from my eyes. Seeing you here. In my world. Behaving with respect toward my mother. She is the person you threatened to use against me to get me to do what you wanted. A maid. A mute person. Someone you would have mocked. And now suddenly you are here and doing this. Who are you?"

"I told you a long time ago. You haven't seen anything about me yet." He moved closer to her. "I told you I would show it to you."

"Why? Why to me? The Choi Young Do I knew wouldn't want to be friends with someone like me."

"You and I are not friends."

"Then what are we?"

"You are a woman to me, Cha Eun Sang. From the very beginning you were a woman to me. If you think I want your friendship then perhaps I should convey my intentions more aggressively."

"Does that make sense? To see me as a woman? Who am I? Don't you care about those things? Isn't that why you had me sit in the Chair of Shame?"

"I sat you there because I wanted to eat with you."

"You could have picked any other seat."

"I wanted to break the rules with you, Cha Eun Sang." He raised his brows in annoyance. "Did I make anyone else sit there after you?"

"You tripped me."

"It was the only way I had of knowing just how much you weighed on my heart."

Eun Sang sighed.

"You never even thought of me. Even now all you can see is who I was."

"Choi Young Do." She gasped. "Do you even know? I can't stop thinking about you. When I close my eyes, you are there. When you weren't there, I looked for you. When I couldn't find you, I went to see you."

His lips parted but he didn't say anything. He looked at her but he didn't touch her. She could hear each inhalation of his breath and yet she couldn't bring herself to breathe.

Her heart was pounding. "I don't see you as a friend. But I don't know if I see you as a man either."

He closed his eyes. "I should warn you that your words have power, Cha Eun Sang. If you are not prepared to deal with the weight of them then don't give them to me."

"Is that a threat?"

"It's a warning." His eyes searched hers. "I don't give back what is given to me."

I don't want you to give these words back to me. They have been hurting me.

Her mother walked into the hall. Eun Sang stepped away from Young Do. He quickly recovered himself as well. Eun Sang wiped her face with the towel hoping to hide her emotions.

_His driver brought groceries._

"What?" Eun Sang reached over to pinch his arm. His eyes widened at her. Her mother looked equally shocked by the exchange. "Choi Young Do! You even buy me food now?"

Eun Sang could tell that it took supreme effort for him to not retort with a devious remark since her mother was present. Instead he smiled sweetly, too sweetly. Eun Sang knew he wouldn't let it go so easily.

"After you made such a delicious meal for me last weekend." He touched his heart, looking moved. "How could I not do at least this much for you?"

Her mother looked stunned.

"Mom, I swear that—"

_He was the one you wanted to make black bean noodles for?_

Eun Sang wished she could hide her face underground.

"Mother, did our Eun Sang lie—" He turned to her. "—and it was you who cooked it?"

Her mother shook her head passionately and quickly scribbled a note: "Our Eun Sang made it with her own hands. She worked very hard. I saw her make it with my own eyes."

"I was very touched." Young Do glanced at Eun Sang. "I never have home cooked meals."

Her mother looked heartbroken by his confession. Another note was pushed at Young Do: "I will treat you to dinner tonight. Please stay and let me make something delicious for you."

Young Do bowed thankfully. "I would like that a lot, mother."

* * *

Young Do sat next to Eun Sang on the floor as her mother finished setting the plates on a table which they had found in one of the closets. Eun Sang had never seen her mother cook so much food for dinner. This was the type of feast that Eun Sang had seen her prepare for Tan at the Madam's request. Young Do looked at all the food with a small smile. He bit his lower lip as her mother served him chunks of meat on his rice bowl. He bowed his head thankfully and took his chopsticks. Her mother gestured him to try it. Young Do nodded and brought the food to his mouth. Her mother waited for his reaction with nervous anticipation.

Young Do grinned, chewing appreciatively. "It's delicious, mother."

He took another bite.

Her mother took more meat pieces. Eun Sang stuck out her bowl but she served it to Young Do, completely ignoring her. She glared at her mother. In return, he mother twitched her lips reprovingly at her.

_He is thinner than you._

_**Is he so thin that you can't even feed your daughter?**_

_He carried more boxes than you. You did nothing today._

Eun Sang scoffed.

Young Do glanced between the two of them. "Mother, is she saying bad things about me? I can explain."

Her mother smiled and shook her head. On a note, she wrote: "Don't worry, and eat a lot."

Young Do bowed his head. "Thank you. I will eat it well."

Eun Sang pouted.

Young Do took a few chunks of meat and set it on her bowl. With a bright, sunny smile, he said, tilting his head to the side, "Eat a lot, transfer student."

She remembered the first time he had said those words. So much had changed between them. Back then she had found him insufferable and now she couldn't look away.

Eun Sang's mother scribbled another note: "Have you become good friends with our Eun Sang?"

Young Do swallowed his mouthful and straightened his posture. He got into proper kneeling position. Eun Sang watched him with a mortified expression. He set his chopsticks down and pressed his lips together.

_He wouldn't!_

"Mother," he began somewhat shyly. "I actually like—"

Eun Sang dove toward him and covered his mouth with her hands. His eyes went wide at her unexpected proximity. She glared at him, saying through a forced smile. "Say another word and you're dead."

Her mother hit her from across the table.

"Mom!" she whined. "That hurt!"

Her mother beat her again and moved over to pull her away from Young Do.

_Do you want to kill him? He could have choked!_

_**Don't take anything he says seriously.**_

Young Do pointed at Eun Sang, eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Is she telling you to not believe the words I say?"

Her mother nodded.

"Mom!"

"Our Eun Sang," Young Do shook his head with disappointment. "What kind of person are you making your mother think I am if you say such words?"

"Choi Young Do," she hissed. "Don't you even think—"

Her mother smacked her upside the head.

She rubbed her burning scalp.

He licked the corner of his lip. "If your mother asks me a question how can I not answer sincerely?"

Her mother pointed at him and nodded again. _Let him speak or you'll sleep outside tonight._

"It's snowing! How can you say that?"

Her mother ignored her and went to Young Do. She lifted the note showing him the question that Eun Sang didn't want him to answer. He turned to her mother but didn't immediately meet her eyes or say anything.

Her mother glanced at Eun Sang, slightly concerned.

She wanted to disappear.

Young Do lifted his head and said with determination. "The truth is that she and I are not friends."

Her mother frowned.

"I like her. Cha Eun Sang."

She blinked at him. Multiple times.

Eun Sang shrunk away.

Young Do bowed his head respectfully. "I wanted to come to you sooner but I don't have a very good relationship with Kim Tan so I couldn't meet you properly after that time."

"Ya!" Eun Sang slapped his arm.

Her mother glared at her. _Let him finish._

"I wasn't very nice to her at the beginning," he admitted. "And that's probably why Eun Sang hasn't mentioned me."

Her mother wrote a note: "Did you make it difficult for our Eun Sang at school?"

Young Do took a deep breath. "Yes."

Another note: "Did you make our Eun Sang cry?"

He pressed his lips together, nodding.

Again, another note: "Are you really sorry?"

Young Do looked at her. "Yes. I am truly sorry, mother."

_Do you like this boy?_

Eun Sang's hands trembled as she signed: _**I don't hate him.**_

_Can I like him?_

Eun Sang bit her lip. "Mom!"

Her mother patted Young Do's clasped hands and nodded. Then she wrote to him: "Let's eat well."

At first they resumed the meal in silence but later her mother began writing more notes for Young Do. It was her way of showing that she held no hard feelings for what he'd done to Eun Sang in the past. Her mother admired people who could bravely admit their mistakes and truly show repentance.

Her mother asked questions about him. What he liked. What he did in his free time. She asked about his parents, and he only mentioned his father. He said he was a businessman and that he was always busy. He didn't brag about his money or status. Her mother could sense that family was a sensitive topic, especially since Young Do hadn't mentioned his mother, and therefore let that topic drop. He told her mother that he worked part time, just like Eun Sang.

Her mother wrote: "You work?"

Young Do smiled. "You must be wondering why someone like me works."

Her shook her head. She hadn't meant it that way. Young Do didn't seem to reproach her mother's shock.

"My father wants me to experience labor." He explained. "So I am working at the bottom. He says that when I am at the top I will appreciate those below me because I will understand their workload."

This impressed her mother a lot. She relaxed considerably around Young Do when she realized he wasn't a boy who didn't know about responsibility. Or work.

Eun Sang found it strange that someone like his father could have such valuable principles and yet teach other horrible ones with the same fervor. It seemed that Young Do's relationship with his father was more complicated than she imagined. It made her curious to know just what Young Do truly felt: did he hate his father or did he simply resent him? Did he fear his father or respect him? Did he want to destroy his father or save him?

When they finished dinner, Young Do volunteered to do the dishes. Eun Sang's mother had been against the idea entirely. She wrote to him that he had done enough. She snatched the dishes from Young Do, but he took them back with gentle firmness. He urged her mother to rest a little and to let him do this one thing for her to show the gratitude he felt after eating her food and gaining her forgiveness. Eun Sang watched him stand at the sink, scrubbing diligently. He truly knew what he was doing. She imagined Tan in the same situation. He would probably break all the plates. Or use cooking oil instead of soap. He would complain and say she needed to get a dishwasher.

Her mother pushed her toward Young Do. _Help him. He won't let me in there. I'm embarrassed he is doing this alone. I will be in my room for a while. Your sister said she would call me tonight._

Eun Sang stood by his side and grabbed half of the sponge her mother had cut. She began scrubbing the bowls. Young Do glanced at her. She was just as quick as him.

"Are you competing with me?"

She squinted her eyes at him. "I have dishwashing experience too."

"Do you want a job at my hotel?"

She sighed. "The Chairman said I should get a job at your hotel."

"Making our lamb into a corporate spy is his next move?"

Eun Sang gave him a look. "What can I possibly find out for him while washing dishes?"

"You miss the point." He chuckled. "It's not the job you're doing at Zeus that matters to him. He wants to see how much I trust you. By letting you into my business I would be showing that I trust you. What excuses I would make to my father to let you work there. He wants to know these things. He wants to know how much power you have over me."

"I don't get his motive."

"You don't seem to understand, Cha Eun Sang. You may be washing dishes with me but one day I will sit at my father's chair and then I will have the power. What would I not be willing to do for the woman who has loyally stood by my side?"

"I thought you said he was targeting your father, not you."

"He wants my father to see me as incapable. Possibly to distract his attention. He must be up to something." Young Do shared, "My father set a trap for Kim Won. And because Kim Won had no choice but to step on it my father now has the upper hand. The Chairman must not have taken this move too kindly."

"So he wants to take revenge by taking it all? For a trap his son fell into?"

"We still don't know exactly what the Chairman is after." He looked at her. "And that's exactly what you are going to find out. He wants you to work at my hotel? Consider yourself hired."

"And you. Why are you doing this? Do you really want your father to—"

"Don't misunderstand me, Cha Eun Sang." He scrubbed even harder. "I have waited too long and patiently for the day in which I can show my father what he's made of me. The final test. I want to pass that. I don't want the Chairman to take that opportunity from me."

"Choi Young Do—"

"When are you going to call me oppa?"

She looked away. "Never."

"Choi Eun Sang."

She glared at him. "Don't call me that! My mother might hear you!"

He stole a bowl from her. "I already confessed my feelings for you to her."

"I am going to kill you for that."

His smile was dazzling. "Will you believe in my sincerity now?"

"Is that why you told her?"

He winked.

"Do you want me to scrub your face with this sponge?"

"I like it."

"What?"

"That you're comfortable around me." His boyish smile was handsome. "You even bully me."

She rolled her eyes. "It's not exactly—"

He leaned toward her. Eun Sang shrunk away but he pulled her closer by wrapping his arm around her waist. He had held her like this before. Seconds prior to dropping her into a pool.

"But I like it more when I make our lamb blush this tempting shade of red." He ran a wet finger across her cheek. His eyes were on her lips. "Makes me want to kiss you."

She shoved him away though she really didn't want to. Eun Sang looked over her shoulder. She was relieved to see her mother wasn't there. Perhaps her sister hadn't called yet.

"Are you crazy?"

"It may be a full moon tonight."

They started rinsing together in silence. Every now and then he would bump her hips purposefully with a small smile on his lips. She would push him away half-heartedly .

Eun Sang wanted to be mad at him but she couldn't muster the anger.

She was smiling too.

Like an idiot.

They dried the plates together and put them in the cupboards. He helped her tidy the kitchen and even open a few more boxes. At the living area her mother had hung the framed photograph near the door. Eun Sang wondered why she had put it there specifically when it was such a priceless possession to her.

Young Do stood beside her and looked at the picture. "She was carrying this earlier."

He pointed at the older girl back hugging Eun Sang.

"My sister."

"What is it like?" He folded his hands into his pocket. "To have a family like that?"

"Warm. Happy. Annoying sometimes. Boys liked my sister more."

"I think you're prettier," he teased.

The question came out before she could think it through. "Where is your mother?"

His smile vanished. "Didn't Kim Tan tell you?"

"Why would he tell me your secrets?"

"So he has some loyalty."

"Just like you." She reminded him. "You haven't told anyone his secret either."

He said nothing.

"Admitting things builds trust."

His voice hardened. "She left."

Abandoned? Why? The pain in his eyes was deep, and fresh. It was a wound that still bled. A deep, painful wound. Tentatively, Eun Sang reached out.

"You'll regret it if you touch me right now."

Eun Sang didn't care. She caressed his face. Young Do grabbed her wrist and whirled her around, pushing her against the wall. His lips were a breath away from hers. "I don't want to be a bad wolf in your house."

"I was a good lamb at yours."

He sighed against her lips, placing his hands on the wall. Eun Sang found herself cupping his face, pulling him closer, tiptoeing toward him. Madness possessed her. She didn't want to reason. She closed her eyes and brushed her lips against his. It was a feather touch that electrocuted all of her senses. His lips melted into hers slowly. Eun Sang wrapped her arms around his neck needing to feel him as close as she felt her own skin. Never in her life had she longed for a touch the way she did his. Young Do placed his hand at the base of her neck, pulling her even deeper into the searing kiss.

_You are a man to me, Choi Young Do._


	9. Wrath

Eun Sang could barely breathe as Young Do's form blurred into hers. Her hands slid up the expanse of his back, fingers spreading across his shoulder blades. She could feel the tension of his muscles beneath the soft fabric of his sweater. He was a man in every sense of the word. A man whose lips scorched her mouth with unrelenting passion. A man whose heart beat crazily next to her own. She crossed the line between logic and madness with no remorse. She had never known a person could feel as indispensable as air until Young Do breathed life into her. The confusion which had once tangled her thoughts came undone to reveal the truth for what it was.

She could never see Young Do as anything but a man. As much as she had wanted to fool herself into believing that their strange relationship was amicable, Eun Sang knew deep down that it wasn't. She couldn't be indifferent to his touch, to his presence, to the way he looked at her. He would always make her feel as though she were falling.

_Because I'm going to trip you again and again._

Young Do pushed her against the wall and pulled away leaving her completely breathless. Eun Sang held herself as dizziness washed over her. He too was out of breath, and his swollen lips quivered. _She_ had made him that way. She had provoked the same passion in him which he had awoken in her. Eun Sang kissed him the way a woman kissed a man, leaving no room to call the exchange a mistake. There was no possibility of denial.

Young Do's eyes pierced hers. He was so close that she could feel every ragged inhalation of his breath against her lips. He was so captivating in the fine details; the slight curve of his lips, the thickness of expressive brows, the depth of his brown eyes.

Eun Sang had once experienced a transient summer dream with a boy named Kim Tan. A dream which had, at one point, made her heart flutter. The experience had been like the waves that crashed intrepidly toward shore only to return to the ocean as quickly as they had come. Those memories faded easily until they were nothing more than hazy fragments.

The boy in front of her wasn't as forgettable. The sharpness of his features were as cutting as his words. He had once been a nightmare which she could not pull herself from. He had made her feel alive in the most terrifying way. Where Tan had made her heart flutter, Young Do had made it feel as if an earthquake had pulled it asunder.

When had her sentiments changed? When had her feelings become passionate? At what point had she seen the crack in his armor to glimpse the bleeding heart beneath? When had she ceased feeling annoyance by the cruelty of his actions, or his cadence, or even the sight of the frightening crown he wore?

_When did I start to care when I had been indifferent?_

Did he know? Was he aware of the precise moment in which her heart had changed into the mess he had made of it?

"Young Do."

He closed his eyes, placing the palm of his hands flat against the wall. He buried his face into the groove of her neck, eliciting a shiver. The words burned her skin, "Don't say my name like that."

But she wanted to say his name. Over and over. Until it lost all meaning. It was a name she had never wanted to see on her telephone, or call out with her mouth. It was a name which had made her cringe, made her uneasy. It was a name that plagued her dreams as tauntingly as his voice.

"Young Do."

He looked at her. "Have some fear, Cha Eun Sang. Don't misunderstand and think you've made me tame. You don't understand what it means—"

A knock at the door made his sentence fall away. He pulled himself from her and leaned against the opposite wall. He glanced toward the door.

"Who is close enough to you to come at this hour?"

Eun Sang blinked. Was he being jealous?

"It could be your driver."

"I dismissed him for the evening."

"How did you plan to get home?" His motorcycle was probably covered in snow. "The streets must be—"

"Worrying for me again?"

_Are you teasing me again?_

Eun Sang went to the door. Young Do blocked her path.

"This sudden intrusion proves most fortunate for a lamb who likes to run from the wolf." He leaned forward. "In case you got the wrong idea, I will clarify it for you. I won't let _this_ go."

"I don't plan to run."

His brows lifted in suspicion. One was always more arched than the other.

_Details…_

"Whether I become a wolf or make you a lamb," she said. "Whether you devour me or someone else does; it won't matter. I won't run away. Whatever happens, I will face it."

"Our lamb has become so brave—"

She lifted a finger at him. "I know what you planned to say next. Don't say it."

He bit her finger playfully.

She winced and pulled her hand back.

"I told you to have some fear. Wolves bite, especially when taunted. Next time I will go for the throat, Cha Eun Sang."

She remembered the feel of his lips against her neck when he'd whispered. Eun Sang pushed him aside and opened the door. She welcomed the frigid breeze which sliced her flaming cheeks.

On the other side was Chan Young and Bo Na. She was holding pretty department store gift bags while Chan Young carried groceries. The two looked incredulous, especially when Young Do popped his head out from behind Eun Sang.

"Ya. Lee Bo Na. What kind of manners are these?" Young Do reprimanded. "You are supposed to call to make sure the person you plan to visit isn't busy."

"Choi Young Do," she scoffed. "Just what are _you_ doing here?"

"Didn't your boyfriend tell you? I helped our lamb move today."

Bo Na pushed past Eun Sang, and consequently Young Do. Chan Young sighed and walked inside through the gap which Bo Na had left for him. Young Do crossed his arms and followed the pair into the living area. Bo Na looked around, setting the gifts on the floor.

"I texted your mom and told her I was coming with Chan Young." She too crossed her arms, mimicking Young Do. "She never mentioned you had a guest already so I didn't expect to find him here."

Young Do rubbed his eyebrow. "Did the jewels in your eyes for Chan Young make you blind? Didn't you see my motorcycle outside?"

Bo Na frowned. "Are you saying I shouldn't have come just because you're here?"

"Why are you shouting in someone else's house?" Young Do scratched his ear. "Makes me want to throw you out."

"I'd like to see you try!"

"If you all keep fighting," Eun Sang said. "I'll throw you _all_ out."

Bo Na looked surprised at her light tone. Her friend didn't know that she was trying to settle her frantic heart. She didn't know how thankful she was for the distraction.

"Ya, Cha Eun Sang." Young Do sounded wounded. "After all I've done for you today?"

Chan Young turned to him. "Are you going to charge her for the favor?"

Eun Sang gave him a look. His sudden hostility was unexpected. Chan Young wasn't one to look for confrontations mindlessly.

Young Do raised a brow at him. "The cute bunny has claws."

"Did you just call my boyfriend a cute bunny?"

"Should I make him a cute panda instead?"

"Don't call him anything at all!" Bo Na stomped her foot. "Stop looking at him!"

"Eun Sang," Chan Young turned to her. "Can I speak with you outside for a moment?"

"What do you have to tell her that I can't hear?" Bo Na pouted. "Are you two going to keep secrets between yourselves again?"

Young Do smiled deviously. "Just this afternoon our lamb expressed her desire to compete with me for your boyfriend's affection."

Bo Na was indignant. "Is that true, Cha Eun Sang?"

Eun Sang shook her head. "Ya. Lee Bo Na. Don't you know how he is? He would say anything just to upset you."

"Saying it like that makes me seem like a bad oppa."

Bo Na glared at him. "Who made you my oppa?"

* * *

Chan Young walked in silence for about a block before stopping and turning to Eun Sang. In her previous neighborhood there had been a park nearby where they often went to talk in private. They would have to find a new spot for such chats in this area. Eun Sang disliked talking by the sidewalk, near people's homes. Especially now that she knew the Chairman was watching her. She refrained from glancing about.

_Pretend they are not there._

"Cha Eun Sang," Chan Young began with a pause.

His expression concerned her. Chan Young had always been outspoken with his thoughts and not shy to show protectiveness, but he truly looked angry. It was rare to see such an emotion on his usually friendly face.

"What?" She nodded toward him. "What's with that look?"

"Are you crazy?"

She sighed and braced herself. Whenever he called her name and asked that question it usually meant that a lecture would ensue. The last time he had used this tone had been concerning her relationship with Tan. He was the only person who knew the precise details of her issues with the Chairman, mostly because his father warned him to watch out for her often. She wondered if Chan Young had found out that the Chairman wanted her to get close to Young Do in order to cause an uproar at Zeus Group.

"Do you know who Choi Young Do is?" He pointed toward her apartment. "Do you remember who he is? What he is?"

"It's not like that anymore," Eun Sang explained. "He's not forcing me—"

"I'm not talking about _that_." He sighed. "I'm talking about the fact that he is heir to Zeus Group. You think the Chairman is ruthless? Do you even know how Young Do's father is? My father has met with him and his impression has been very poor. And you know he doesn't pass judgment lightly."

She knew very well how ruthless that man was. Young Do's father was frightening. Even if briefly, even if by accident, she had already been at the receiving end of that man's rage.

"Do you know what happened to his mother?"

"Do you?" She shook her head. "Don't tell me. It's not something I should be hearing from you."

"Then should I remind you of what the Chairman is doing to you?" Chan Young pressed on. "Do you think Young Do's father will be more merciful?"

_Is that what they did to his mother? Drive her out?_

"You are telling me things I already know."

"Even knowing those things," Chan Young asked. "You let him into your home? To meet your mother?"

"What was I supposed to do? He helped us move. My mother wanted to repay his kindness. We are poor but we don't lack manners. You should have known my mother would invite him for dinner."

"He likes you, Eun Sang."

She sighed.

"As a girl."

"I know."

"Do _you_ like him?"

Eun Sang took a deep breath and looked beyond Chan Young. Snow was slowly falling covering everything in a sheet of white. The world looked so pure when it was veiled by snow. It was such a misleading sight because the world wasn't pure; it was a cruel and ugly place. Eun Sang knew this better than most.

She understood Chan Young's concern for her because it was the same worry she felt for him. Love, unlike in fairy tales, could not conquer all. There were things which proved insurmountable for even the strongest and purest form of love. Bo Na was a tier below Young Do in Jeguk's ridiculous hierarchy but she was rich nonetheless. She was an heiress and Chan Young was simply the son of a chaebol's secretary. Even if he was smart, studious, well mannered — even if he fulfilled his promising future — to people with heavily jeweled crowns, he would always be the son of a secretary. Just like Eun Sang would always be the daughter of a maid.

"Yoon Chan Young."

The smoothness of Young Do's voice could not mask the steel beneath it. Eun Sang turned around to see him standing a few feet away, hands buried in his pockets.

"How dare you ask a question which she hasn't even given _me_ an answer to?"

Chan Young walked past her, squaring himself in front of Young Do with bravado he hardly used.

_Just what are you doing, Chan Young?_

"How dare _you_ ask her such a question when you know it's not something you should be inquiring about!"

"The same way you dared—" Young Do's eyes slid over Chan Young. "—to ask Lee Bo Na a question _you_ should not have inquired about."

Chan Young fisted his hands at his sides. "Don't compare her father to yours."

Young Do raised a brow at him. "Don't concern yourself with my father."

"I'm concerning myself about Eun Sang," Chan Young clarified. "Do you even know what he will do to her when he loses—"

"If you want to keep your pretty smile," Young Do's lips curled into savage grin. "Shut your mouth before I make you swallow all your teeth."

"Will the two of you please stop arguing?" Eun Sang sighed. "This isn't the time or place to be—"

"You haven't even told her what she is dealing with. Have you? How are you any different from Kim Tan in this matter?"

Eun Sang stood between the two boys as soon as she saw the murderous glint in Young Do's eyes upon hearing such comparison. She pushed at Young Do's chest creating a safe distance from Chan Young. He didn't even seem to realize what she was doing. His glare was pointedly fixed on her friend as though he couldn't see anything else.

"Chan Young, I do know." Eun Sang admitted. "The Chairman asked me to be friends with Young Do. I know he wants to use me for—"

"And even knowing you agreed?" Chan Young's eyes widened. "Do you think the Chairman will protect you from Choi Dong Wook's wrath? Do you know just how much is at stake for Zeus?"

"I think I may have been too nice lately," Young Do said warningly. "Because certain people seem to have forgotten to mind their words in my presence. Should I give you a valid reason to be warning Cha Eun Sang away from me, Yoon Chan Young?"

Eun Sang looked up at Young Do. The wild wolf was as alive as she remembered him. This dangerous boy didn't seem to fear anything, and it had been precisely this recklessness which made her hesitate.

"Can you protect her?" Chan Young asked. "You can't even protect yourself."

"You really do want to make me into a bad oppa tonight."

"Ya! Choi Young Do!"

Bo Na ran the short distance left to reach them. She looked angrily at Young Do. "You said you would walk with me to help me find them, not run ahead on your own! Do you know how hard it is to run in heels in this weather?"

Young Do grunted. "Is it my fault you have no sense to wear appropriate shoes?" His eyes slid to her mini skirt. "Or clothes."

Bo Na crossed her legs. "Don't check me out."

Young Do snorted. "Don't show things you don't want checked out."

Bo Na clung to Chan Young's arm. "Take me home."

Young Do's eyes moved to Chan Young. "Aren't you the one who takes him home?"

Eun Sang didn't miss the significance of the question, and apparently neither did Chan Young because his eyes narrowed.

"Ya, Choi Young Do." Bo Na hissed. "Why are you being mean again? What is with this tense atmosphere? Were you guys fighting?"

"Your boyfriend," Young Do drawled. "He was tempting me with his _cuteness_."

Bo Na turned to Chan Young. "I don't believe anything he says. So you, tell me what happened."

Chan Young returned Young Do's glare. "You should get the answer from your bad oppa."

Bo Na turned to Eun Sang. "Then you tell me what happened."

"Our Chan Young was telling our lamb that she shouldn't play with the wolf."

"Why don't you tell them why I—"

"Oh my god." Bo Na looked between Young Do and Eun Sang. "Are you two dating? Is that why your mom asked me so many questions about him?"

"My mother did?"

"She filled an entire notebook with questions."

"I trust you told her the honest truth about—"

"If I told her what you were really like she would send Eun Sang to America with her sister," Bo Na deadpanned.

"Ya," Young Do touched his heart as though it were aching. "You really, really hurt your

oppa's feelings by saying things like that."

Bo Na pointed at him warningly. "I'll hurt you even more if you make Cha Eun Sang cry!"

"What is this?" Young Do glanced at Eun Sang, an amused half grin stretching his lips. "The knights of our lamb have become more fiercely protective. It really makes me want to compete."

"This isn't a game, Choi Young Do." Chan Young said.

"Will someone tell me what's going on?" Bo Na asked.

"The Chairman," Eun Sang began. "He's had someone following me."

Young Do gave her a look.

"Isn't it better if they know?" Eun Sang asked. "They can get hurt too. They should know what could happen."

"Hurt?" Bo Na looked at Chan Young. "What does she mean?"

"The Chairman knows I've been seeing Choi Young Do. And he wants me to keep seeing him. The damage I would have done to Jeguk had I continued with Kim Tan. He wants me to cause this damage to Zeus Group."

"Are you serious?" Bo Na turned to Young Do. She was clearly worried. "And you guys are playing along? Is that why you helped Eun Sang and even acted nice in front of her mother?"

"Have we been attending the same school all this time?" Young Do wrinkled his forehead as he spoke. "You ask that as if I only recently began showing interest in Cha Eun Sang."

"You call harassment showing your interest?" Bo Na rolled her eyes. "You're really a grade schooler, Choi Young Do."

"Chan Young," Eun Sang said softly. "I understand you're worried about me. I appreciate your concern but please have a little faith in me. If I just play along with the Chairman, if I make him think I'm doing as he asks, I will have time to find a way to turn this around."

"You don't seem to get it," Chan Young said. "If he's going to use you to cause damage to Zeus Group nothing will save you from the wrath you Choi Dong Wook."

"Ya. Yoon Chan Young. Why do you make my father sound like a typhoon?" Young Do asked rather acidly. "And what am I? Am I just a helpless tree that will break when the typhoon passes? Who will save Cha Eun Sang? I will. Isn't it obvious? I will become wrath itself."

Eun Sang looked at Young Do.

Tan had promised once to fight for her, to go against the world for her, but she never believed him. He wanted her to trust her life to him when he wasn't even capable of safeguarding his own. He claimed he wanted to protect her when he didn't even understand the value of what she most wanted to protect. Tan could not even protect the person which should have come first in his heart; his mother. How could he fight alongside her when he didn't know hardship the way she intimately did?

Young Do, despite his privileged position, knew about hardship. Perhaps he had never known hunger, but he had been starved. Perhaps he never worried over the roof above his head, but he had been homeless. Perhaps he never worked to survive, but he had worked to learn the value of labor. He had done bad things, but he was starting to realize those mistakes. Young Do knew about oppression, and about humiliation. Young Do knew about pain, and also about loss.

Which was why when he stood proudly against Chan Young's words, Eun Sang believed him.

She believed him not because she saw him as a man, or because she was blinded by him. Eun Sang could see every imperfect detail about Young Do with clarity. She could still see the things which scared her. She could still see the things which worried her. She knew he had much to grow and learn. It was precisely because she could _see_ that she could trust. For Young Do had been actively pursuing an opportunity — an objective — which had existed long before he met her. Young Do would have become wrath, with or without her.

"Chan Young," Bo Na scooted closer to her boyfriend, shivering. "I'm just as worried about Eun Sang as you but this is something they need to decide for themselves."

Chan Young sighed.

Bo Na looked at her. She had known Eun Sang's heart before she did.

_Thank you, Bo Na._

"Let's go. I'm freezing."

"Wait up for me," Young Do said. "I need to say farewell to our lamb's mother."

Bo Na frowned. "Why do we have to wait for you?"

"Because you're going to give me a ride."

"Why don't you call your own—"

Young Do smiled, but it didn't light his eyes. "Because it's more fun to sit between you and Chan Young, of course."

"What about your motorcycle?"

He glanced at Eun Sang. "It gives me an excuse to come back tomorrow."

* * *

When Eun Sang entered Mango Six with her resignation letter she was very nervous. Usually she never went through such strict formalities, but Young Do had texted her to say she _had_ to write one. When she asked why he'd replied that it would look good, for someone so young, to leave an impression of responsibility. Especially when a manager from the hotel called her boss for references.

The cafe was as busy as ever. She hoped her boss wouldn't pressure her into staying, since he called her his star employee. At the counter he was personally tending to a woman, being overly flattering. Eun Sang noted that she probably had money as her coat looked very similar to one Eun Sang had seen in the Madame's laundry.

_For dry cleaning only, as you tortured my mother to memorize._

It wasn't that the Madame was purposefully cruel. She'd known her enough to realize that the woman didn't know the weight of her words half of the time she spoke. She lived in a bubbled dream most days which was why Eun Sang couldn't even resent her.

"I heard it is going well for you," her manager said to the customer.

The woman smiled, and though it was an honest smile, her eyes betrayed sadness. "Are you regretting not coming to work for me when I offered?"

Her manager laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. "How can you think that was the reason?"

Eun Sang knew it probably was. Her manager was the type of man who stayed where there was stability. If he was forcing himself to be so nice, the woman must have been someone important, and by the sounds of it, a businesswoman.

Eun Sang went to the back and clocked in. She put on her apron and tucked the resignation letter in her pocket. Hopefully the visit from this acquaintance would put him in a better mood to receive her request.

When she came out, the woman was seated at a far corner, away from the windows. It seemed like she wanted to be alone with her thoughts. She was reading a book, while sipping coffee. Eun Sang could not make out the title.

"How did the move go?"

She bowed. "It went well, boss."

He crossed his arms. "What is it? Why do you have that face?"

_I have to stop being so obvious…_

Eun Sang clasped her hands together. "Unfortunately, I have to resign." She pulled out the letter, not expecting she'd have the chance to give it so quickly. "I'm very sorry."

He looked extremely disappointed as he took it. "Are you sure?"

"I'm really sorry."

With a sigh, he went to the back without another word.

_You are really going to play the game, Cha Eun Sang. This is just the beginning. You can't look back. And you can't give up._

Eun Sang worked diligently that afternoon. She put on her best face for the customers, paying close attention to the details of their orders. She wanted the last remaining weeks to be the best because Young Do insisted that getting a positive reference from her boss was very important. It made Eun Sang realize that even the smallest smear on a resume could have lasting consequences.

The woman who had been conversing with her boss was still sitting at the corner. Her coffee had long been finished and she had set her book aside on the table. She was openly watching her work. Eun Sang looked over her shoulder, half expecting to see a more interesting person that the woman could have been staring at. There was no one.

With a slight frown, she resumed her chores and cleaned the tables spotlessly. Eun Sang wiped her forehead with the back of her arm and exhaled.

A customer called from the counter.

It was the woman.

Eun Sang hurried to stand behind the register. Smiling, she asked, "What can I—"

"I'm sorry, but I overheard your conversation earlier."

Eun Sang blinked.

"Are you quitting this job?"

"Yes."

"Do you have somewhere else you are going to work?"

Eun Sang nodded, feeling reluctant to share where.

The woman looked deflated. "What a shame. I was watching you work and I like your dedication. Your smile. It's very warm."

Eun Sang touched the corner of her lips. What could she say to such an unexpected compliment? The woman pulled open her purse and withdrew a business card. She glanced about, as if looking for someone, and then quickly held it out for Eun Sang.

"If your new job doesn't work out for you," she said, smiling. "Please consider coming to work for me. You are just the type of person I have been looking for."

Eun Sang took the card with a grateful bow. "Thank you."

Once the woman had gone, she looked at it.

_Brunch Cafe Secret Garden_

_Yoo Kyung Ran_


	10. Courage

Two weeks had passed since Eun Sang gave her resignation letter at Mango Six. It had been her last day working as a barista and it felt strange to know she would not be going back. It had been her most stable job, the one she enjoyed best. It allowed her to forget her problems and focus on bringing a little bit of warmth and sweetness to others who had their own worries. As she opened the door to her apartment, Eun Sang wondered what it would be like to work at Zeus. She had been hired after an in depth interview for the position of "kitchen assistant" with influence from Young Do, of course.

As she stood in that small, darkened hallway the memories of their kiss filled her thoughts. Every day, at rehearsals, Eun Sang found herself anticipating his lips with startling desire as they practiced increasingly heated scenes. Though she no longer wrote thinking primarily of him, Young Do still had an intoxicating effect delivering the lines. She could see it in his eyes as well, that he wanted her, and that he was aware she wanted him too. As Ji Eun she could allow herself to slip into the fantasy and give into what she was too weary to accept as Eun Sang.

The story had become very dark and complex. It was, in essence, inspired by all the swirling emotions which tangled her life. The aggressiveness of the scenes, the intricate connections between the characters, all of it had come from her. She had created that world and all its inner workings from scratch. Eun Sang had never thought she could be capable of writing a story by piecing together random fragments of her imagination and feelings. That was precisely why she was so nervous. The presentation to the school board was tomorrow, after school, and she still hadn't written the ending. She didn't know how to end it. How could she put the last period to something which had brought her so much joy to create and a sense of accomplishment she hadn't previously experienced in her life?

A part of her knew that it was fear which kept her from conjuring the last words of the script. Fear that a goal she had worked so assiduously to achieve would be rejected without fair consideration. Eun Sang was terrified that the Chairman had set a stage; that no matter what she did he would fail her nonetheless. For the first time in her life she was proud of what she had done, of what she had managed to make under pressure. There was a sense of pride not just in what she'd written but also in how hard everyone in the broadcasting club had worked. How inspired everyone had been by her. Even Ye Sol congratulated her at the last rehearsal and offered a sincere handshake. For them, and for herself, Eun Sang wanted to succeed.

Hyo Shin told her that the Chairman would not risk tampering the results. There were many students from important, influential families involved in the game. This was exactly why Eun Sang was apprehensive. The Chairman wanted to show her what a peasant could do when allowed to step into a kingdom unworthy of her dirty feet.

_Don't think like this or he will win._

Eun Sang was about to set her shoes aside when she noticed a foreign pair in her place. The familiar red moccasins stood out like rubies among rubble. Kicking off her shoes quickly, she scurried toward the living area and was perplexed that Young Do was in the kitchen arguing gently with her mother. His brows were high as he tried to take the chopping board from her, only to have her mother smack his arm and shove him away. She dried her hands on her apron and scribbled furiously on her handy notebook: "Do you even know how to hold a knife?"

"Mother," he replied softly. "Do you know how many sharp knives I handle in the kitchen every day? Sometimes I even have to chop ingredients when it's really busy."

Her mother was unconvinced, and shook her head after just a pause of consideration. What happened next nearly made Eun Sang fall to the floor. Young Do lifted his arms, and signed, with his hands that he would 'take care of it.'

Eun Sang stared at him as though she were beholding a demonic possession taking place. When had he learned that much? Did her mother teach him? When had she taught him? Just then? Had they met previously? Were they keeping in touch? Why? What was Young Do thinking? She didn't want her mother to grow attached to him only to have him leave later.

Her mother wrote: "How much does the finger of a chaebol's son cost? Do you think I can afford it?"

Young Do's lips curled slightly though he tried his hardest to retain a serious expression. It was so bizarre to see their exchange. Her mother treated him so comfortably, as if she had known him all his life, as though he were someone familiar and easy to get along with. As though his confession hadn't worried her.

"Don't worry, mother." He lifted his hands and wiggled his fingers at her. "I won't make you pay for the loss of my fingers. We can put the charge on Eun Sang's tab."

Did he just make a joke? With her mother?

Eun Sang couldn't believe that she was smiling at him the way an accomplice would. That her mother would let her pay for Young Do's lost fingers as if he were her son.

_Mom… where is your loyalty?_

Her mother grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the kitchen. He argued with her but she ignored every single one of his points. Finally, they realized she had been standing there.

_**You're home?**_

Eun Sang could barely nod.

_**I invited him for dinner. Keep him busy while I cook.**_

Young Do glanced at her mother's retreating back before turning to Eun Sang. He sat on the floor and crossed his legs. Just like the first time, he blended into her world with ease.

"Choi Young Do." She was incredulous. "For someone who lectured Bo Na about calling before coming—"

"Your mother just told you," he tilted his head to the side. "She invited me to dinner."

He understood that much?

"Ya. When did you learn—"

"The mother of the lamb is more considerate than the lamb."

She raised a brow at his tone.

He began counting the points on his fingers. "Mother answers my calls even though she can't speak, and listens to my words. She texts me to ask if I am staying warm. She even invites me to dinner because she doesn't believe I'm eating well." He cupped his cheeks. "She holds me like this to see if my face has become thinner. And even rebukes me because she insists I've lost weight."

"My mother did?"

He wrinkled his face at her in annoyance. "The daughter is nothing like the mother. She ignores my calls, doesn't reply to texts, still doesn't accept my friend request on SNS."

"Are you still mad about _that_?"

"Furious."

"Ya!"

"The lamb doesn't even hang out with me outside of school even though she kissed me." He looked at his hands and talked to them. "Ya. Fingers. Do I have bad taste in women? Always caring for those who don't return the concern."

"How can you say that so easily?"

"Which part? The part about having bad taste or—" His pause was deliberate. "—the part about the lamb kissing the wolf?"

Heat scorched her cheeks and Eun Sang turned away hoping to hide it from him. "Don't say_that_ out loud."

"Should I tell you in sign language then?"

She glared at him over her shoulder. "Do you even know how?"

"Your lack of faith is really discouraging. Do you even know how quickly I learn things? Be prepared. By the end of the month we—" He waved a hand between them. "—will have a competition."

She rolled her eyes. "I've been using sign language almost since I was born."

His eyes were as devious as his smile. "Do you want to make a bet with me then?"

"I will never make a bet with you."

At this, Young Do raised a brow, and stood. He took a few steps toward her. Eun Sang moved away. At rehearsals he prowled toward her like this. Just his fiery aura was enough to burn her. She tripped over the shoes in the hall but he caught her easily. It seemed like he was fond of holding her at an angle.

"Are you afraid?"

It was a line in the script. His tone always deepened obscurely when he spoke as Hyun Joong.

"That I will make you do more bad things. And that you'll realize you don't hate doing them. Because in the end… you're just as bad as me."

Eun Sang pushed at his chest and he let her put distance between them. Her heart had become an enemy within her body. Only when he said the lines which she had written did she realize how heavy the words were. How true to life they could be. How many interpretations they could have depending on perspective.

"Of course I'm afraid." She answered as Eun Sang. "Because you're Choi Young Do."

"And if you wanted you could be Choi Eun Sang. Giving you some power over me."

They were in that tiny hallway again. There was hardly room for the both of them to stand. She could barely bring oxygen into her lungs. And he had called her that. So easily.

"Young Do."

"Ooof!" He bit his lip. "When our lamb calls my name like that it really makes me want to change your name to mines."

"We're in Korea. That won't happen."

His smile was sinful. "I like the sound of it though."

"Quit joking around."

"Always misunderstanding me." He took a deep breath. "Should I ask why you've been ignoring my calls then? Did the Chairman tell you to make me anxious by giving me the cold shoulder after I spent some money on you?"

That was not the reason. She had truly been struggling with finishing the script. And he was a distraction. A very powerful one.

"I haven't been purposefully—"

He took out his cell phone from his pocket and threw it at her. She barely reacted in time to catch it. "Check how many calls Cha Eun Sang ignored."

"You don't use a pass code?"

He shrugged. "The people who could be interested in the contents of my phone won't be stopped by a simple pass code. Why should I bother myself with a useless precaution? I have nothing to hide."

She saw that he had called her several times after her shift at Mango Six ended, on days in which they hadn't rehearsed. She scrolled down the list, feeling a bit curious about who else filled his call log. The majority of incoming calls were from Myung Soo and the secretary of Young Do's father; those were also the calls he ignored most. He made a few to a person saved as Lawyer Choi, and eventually returned the calls of his father's secretary. Myung Soo didn't seem to be as fortunate.

"Are you checking to see if I call other girls?" He sounded more amused than insulted. "I assure you that your biggest competitor for my affection is Myung Soo. He's cute, he's willing, and he even calls me oppa without having to be blackmailed."

Eun Sang handed the phone to him.

"He even takes cute selcas with my phone." Young Do posed like Myung Soo to illustrate. Eun Sang stifled a laugh. Young Do never made such faces and seeing them were funny. "And saves them with hearts as his caller ID."

_I won't ever do that…_

"Maybe you should date him instead," she teased.

His lips spread into a grin. "Are you saying that the lamb dating the wolf?"

Her stomach twisted in knots. The words had just come out without her truly realizing what she was saying. Doubt was heavier than her embarrassment. "Are we?"

"Do you want to date?"

"Are you _really _asking me?"

He crossed his arms. "Why are you dancing around my question? Is it really so hard to give me a straight answer? I've been fighting this habit of yours since we met."

"But it was you who told me not to answer your questions." She gave him a tiny smile as the realization dawned on his face. She bit her tongue feeling the wonderful satisfaction of using his own words against him. "Because then you wouldn't be able to ask me anymore."

"What's this?" He chuckled, coming closer. "Our lamb is becoming a wolf. Are you seriously arguing with me right now? Will you really not answer my question?"

"First, tell me why you're here."

"Did you tell your mother you will be working at my hotel starting tomorrow?"

"Are you here to tell her that?"

"I don't want her to misunderstand my intentions. I don't want you to hide this from her either. I came to properly explain."

"Properly explain?" She didn't want her mother to know the details. "Are we going to tell her the Chairman is forcing me? Will I make her worried that way?"

"There are ways to be truthful without showing the whole truth."

"Ya! Choi Young Do! Who are you to inform my mother about _my_ truths?"

"Who am I?" He smiled. "Starting tomorrow we're coworkers. And if you accept my heart, once and for all, we will be—"

"Is there not some sort of policy against _that_?"

"A policy against accepting my heart?" He smirked. "I don't think there is such a policy."

"About dating a coworker."

He inched even closer. "So are you saying we are dating then?"

_To accept your heart. I'm still scared._

"Cha Eun Sang. Didn't you know? I love to break rules."

_You make me want to break them too._

"I am asking you as a man." His eyes lingered on her lips for a moment before returning to her eyes. "Not as part of the Chairman's game. Not because it's the whim of a spoiled chaebol. This is truly my sincerity."

"Young Do…"

"Eun Sang," he mimicked her warning tone.

"Didn't I answer it already?"

A hint of disappointment colored his voice. "Are you still afraid of me?"

"I'm not afraid of _you_. I'm afraid of what you make me feel. Of what I still don't know and sometimes what I do know."

"Is this about what Chan Young said?"

Eun Sang frowned. "He said nothing I didn't know."

His jaw clenched.

So there was something. "What is it?"

"I'm not sure this is the right time to discuss. I hate heavy conversations before dinner."

"How can you expect me to eat after saying that?"

Young Do scratched his brow. "How much can you trust me?"

Nothing good ever started with such a question.

"What's going on?"

"Can you answer at least that much?" He sighed. "Do you believe in my sincerity?"

"You're not the type of person who would waste your time if—"

"Can't you just say, 'Oppa, I trust your heart?' Such simple words really." A brow rose in annoyance. "Am I so difficult to please?"

"Are you making ridiculous demands at a time like this?"

"You can omit the oppa part."

Eun Sang stared at him. Even though his words were usually light there was a heaviness in his voice and in his eyes. He was truly seeking an answer from her. This was serious. He wasn't joking. The boy who seemed so sure of everything looked at her with uncertainty. Because she made him that way.

"I do trust your heart," she admitted. Had she not trusted his heart she would not have gone to him as a woman.

Young Do closed his eyes a moment, as if gathering himself. He never showed such a vulnerability. It was disconcerting, like the many sides of him that he had been showing her.

"My father. He's using me to close an important deal." His eyes met hers. "It isn't the first time that he ties me to his promises."

"And the Chairman asked me to play with you now? He wants to use me to ruin that deal?"

Young Do nodded.

"I became aware about this not long ago. My father always calls me when he needs me to perform a few tricks. Using me like a trained dog, to show how well he is in control of not just his business but also his house. This isn't new. Except this time he wanted me to perform some tricks I'm unwilling to do."

Eun Sang felt as though she was sinking into cold water. His eyes said more than his words. No matter how controlled he could make his voice, his eyes would always betray him.

"Don't look at me like that." He pleaded. "Don't pull away again."

She hadn't realized that she'd been retreating from him. He could hurt like no pain she had ever experienced before. Young Do was fire; he could burn her with pleasure but also with torture.

"When you have't even graduated from high school," she gasped. "When you haven't even—"

"Eun Sang. Listen to me."

She finally understood what he had meant. She finally knew the pain of being called likethat. It was truly agonizing.

"When all you have is your crown there is only one thing he can promise in your name."

_**You haven't even told her what she is dealing with. Have you? How are you any different from Kim Tan in this matter?**_

Eun Sang collided against the door. She had never felt so shaken in her life. Not even when the Chairman had found out about her and Tan or when he threatened to destroy her with just a word from his mouth. Not even when she had broken off with Tan and he had clung to her, begging her to reconsider. Not when Young Do had blackmailed her with her most painful secret or when she'd realized that despite her fear of him, she had wanted him by her side. When her world had spun by just the touch of his lips, when her knees had gone weak at the sound of his voice — none of those things had ever shaken as profoundly as this.

Her heart plummeted somewhere unreachable.

_It can't be. No. An engagement?_

Her mother's worried face came into view from behind Young Do's broken one. Eun Sang looked down and tried to compose herself. Tears stung like acid in her eyes and it took everything she had in her to hold them back. She looked up.

_**What happened? Why is your face like when you watch those horrible movies?**_

Eun Sang tore her eyes away from Young Do. "I just got some shocking news." Only it was not shocking — it was downright painful. "About school."

Her mother turned to Young Do. His voice was strained as he explained, "The news isn't important."

_How can you say that?_

"It affects only a small number of students," Eun Sang said through trembling lips. "I suppose that's why he says it's not important. He's not part of the minority."

Anger flashed in his eyes. "It's not important because it doesn't change anything, for anyone."

Her mother looked confused. And worried. She glanced between the two of them.

_**Did you have a fight?**_

* * *

The next morning when Eun Sang walked into the main building of Jeguk High, Bo Na dashed toward her, clinging to her arm. It wasn't common for Bo Na to be at school so early, unless Chan Young was there. Eun Sang looked about, half expecting him to walk toward them with coffee. Some people misunderstood Chan Young and Bo Na's relationship thinking that he was an "errand boy" who granted her capricious whims. In truth, Chan Young did things for Bo Na because he loved her. He liked to see her "cute appreciation" whenever he did something sweet for her. They had a well rounded relationship which worked for them. It didn't mean that it could work for others, which was something so many people misunderstood about love. Not everyone worked the same way.

_They always told dad he could have done better than mom. But they loved each other, and it worked._

Eun Sang could not imagine another girl for Chan Young. Bo Na was fiercely devoted to him, protective of him, and always caring. She considered Chan Young the best thing that had happened in her life.

_Just like dad thought mom was for him._

Bo Na pinched her cheek. "Why do you look so depressed? Are you worried about the presentation?"

"I'm just tired."

"Ya!" Bo Na pulled her back. "If Chan Young asked the same question you would tell him! Why can't you tell me? Do you like him more than me?"

Eun Sang laughed. Only Bo Na could make her smile without fail when her world was upside down. "Of course I like him more. I've known him longer. And he's cuter."

"Why are you calling my boyfriend cute?" She argued. "And how can he possibly be cuter than me? Do you need glasses?"

"Don't you think he's cuter?"

Bo Na pouted. "That's an unfair question! And don't even think I'm going to let it rest! Are you really lacking that much confidence in our project? If my father saw this work he'd hire us immediately and have it produced! Why do you look like a lamb who is going to the slaughterhouse? "

Eun Sang's heart dropped. "Don't call me that."

"Why not? Can only Choi Young Do call you that now that you're dating?" Bo Na's eyes widened suddenly. "Oh my god. Don't tell me you had a fight. Was he mean to you? Do I need to beat him? Tell me, and I will make him apologize. After beating him."

"Bo Na," she sighed. "If your father didn't like Chan Young what would you do?"

"How is that possible?" Bo Na laughed. "My Chan Young is perfect. Why? Did you meet with Choi Young Do's father? Did he see you like an insect?"

"He would see me like that, wouldn't he?"

"Are you depressed because you're going to have a crappy father-in-law?" Bo Na covered her mouth. "Sorry."

"He's _not _going to be my father-in-law." Eun Sang remembered the way that Young Do called her by his name, as if someday she would really be his by law. "It's not like that."

"Are you just going to have a casual relationship with Choi Young Do? Because that won't work out. I assure you."

"Why not?"

"Choi Young Do is many things but a player he is not." Bo Na looked at her. "He's not going to be with a girl just because. No matter how many girls Myung Soo has tried to stick on him, Young Do never spares them more than a glance."

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"I'm not saying he's a good guy. He isn't. Ya! Do you know what he said to me once before? That I should send selcas to Chan Young showing my bare skin." Bo Na rolled her eyes. "Like most boys, he's a pervert, but he's never really had a girlfriend."

"What?"

"Look around. Girls at school are scared of him. Some may find him attractive and maybe even fantasize about him." She shuddered. "But no one dates the bully. He's not exactly the type of boy girls dream of dating. You're the only crazy one who has dared."

"He's really never been with anyone?"

"Well I don't know about _that_ but he's never had anyone he's really cared about. Why do you look so surprised?"

"It's just unexpected. He's eighteen, and rich. And—"

Bo Na covered her ears. "If you say he's handsome, I'm going to die. And then it's going to be your fault that Chan Young will be alone forever, unhappily."

Had Young Do closed off his heart to the point where he had never been loved by a woman before? Was the pain of knowing his father was a womanizer so big that it had left him incapable of trusting anyone with his heart?

"Choi Young Do," Bo Na said. "He doesn't like easy things. Or fake things. So many people go to him for his name, for what they can get out of him. Easy girls. He has a lot of words to say about what guys like and want, yet he doesn't seem to care for those things himself. I'm not saying he doesn't feel like other boys, because he does, but he's never acted like other boys."

"I really thought he would have at least—"

"You're the first girl he's shown interest in. Poorly shown, as it was." Bo Na looked around. "You remember that camping trip we took?"

"How can I forget it?"

_He dumped me into a pool._

"In every picture that Myung Soo took where Choi Young Do was in the shot, he was always looking at you. In every single one."

"Really?"

"Couldn't you feel his eyes burning through you like lasers?"

How much had she ignored him back then?

"I've never seen him so interested in a girl before. That's how I definitely know you're his_first_ love."

_Love._

That was a very strong word. It was a word that she wasn't sure she would use to describe what Young Do felt for her. Eun Sang had never experienced love, personally, but she had seen it in her parents and could at least recognize what it was.

"Myung Soo took the photos down before we started rehearsing."

"Why?"

"Because he wanted to protect his friend's unrequited first love."

"But I had been in the studio before and hadn't seen them."

Bo Na shook her head. "You never see much of anything, Cha Eun Sang. Like the fact that your wolf is coming right toward us. At least his walk is definitely Young Do's. The rest is not."

"Ya! Why are you pulling me so—"

"Smile!" Bo Na said cheerfully. "Boyfriends like cute girlfriends."

She could see what Bo Na had meant. Young Do was not wearing his school uniform. In fact, as he was, Eun Sang could hardly recognize him. He was dressed entirely in black. His slacks accentuated the extensive length of his legs making him appear even taller than his usual towering height. His dress shirt was unbuttoned to mid chest revealing the pale flesh beneath. His perfectly groomed hair had been disarrayed into a messy side fringe. His bold lips had been whitened, as if he were dehydrated. He looked like he had just rolled out of bed after having a long night of debauchery.

"Are you wearing eyeliner?" Bo Na crept closer to Young Do. "Oh my god! You are!"

Young Do grunted, touching the edge of his arched brow. "Don't look at me that way."

"You actually look attractive to me!" Bo Na gasped and covered her eyes. "Chan Young! Where are you?"

Bo Na turned on her heels and ran away leaving Eun Sang with the one person she was not yet ready to confront.

"Why are you dressed like that?"

He tilted his head and the fringe swept over one eye. It was astonishing to see the character she had created come to life down to the very last detail like this.

"Isn't it obvious?" He looked at himself. "This is how you described Hyun Joong."

"Are you going to the presentation like _this_?"

"Ah. So you turned your phone off to avoid me which is why you don't know anything." He took a step forward and pinned her chin between his fingers. "I thought you promised not to run away, little lamb."

Last night, after her mother interrupted their conversation, Eun Sang had locked herself in the room claiming she had homework to finish before dinner. In truth she had cried until her eyeballs felt like they would fall from her sockets. Young Do had been right outside her door as she wept. He said nothing. He made no effort to break into her room. He merely stood outside, waiting. She could feel his presence as well as the respect he had for the distance she put between them. After, when she had no more tears, Eun Sang had dinner with them.

Young Do had explained to her mother that Eun Sang would work at his hotel. It took a lot of words, and a lot of patience, to convince her mother that Young Do was not interested in making Eun Sang a secret in his life. That working at Zeus had nothing to do with their relationship and that he merely wanted to give Eun Sang an opportunity to work somewhere with better benefits regardless of his feelings for her. He promised her mother that his sincerity was genuine and that she could have all his fingers if he disappointed her.

When he had gone, Eun Sang watched him leave from the window. He stood outside, gazing toward her apartment, as if sensing she was watching. It was so painful. To look at him, to want him, and to know that perhaps a time would come where she would have to learn to live missing him. Because he could turn to be a dream that had simply lasted longer than the one she had with Tan.

"I'm not running away." Eun Sang sighed. "I just needed time to think."

"You told me I would be the first to read it." He sounded disappointed. "The ending."

"I changed my mind."

"What else did you change your mind about, Cha Eun Sang?"

She looked away from him because seeing him was difficult. Young Do made it hard for her lungs to remember their function. It was not easy to focus on what she had to do when he made her want to forget everything. She didn't want to become the type of woman who lost her mind for a man. Eun Sang wanted to always know where she stood, what she risked, and what she had to do. She wanted control over the things which she could control.

"I'm not engaged. If you would have let me—"

"Please don't talk about that."

_I don't want to think about that. It makes me crazy. _

_"_Then don't make me feel like I have to remind you."

"Young Do." Her voice was firm. "Today I need to be strong. Stronger than ever. I don't know what will happen at the presentation. Am I walking into a trap? Am I going to be humiliated? Will they let me taste glory and later knock me down?"

She clenched her fists. "I know to you this is an insignificant battle—"

"Don't presume to know my thoughts."

"Then should I show you mine?"

She finally mustered the courage to look at him. He was so beautiful that it was heartbreaking. Not because he was the man who made her heart race but because he was, in that moment, the embodiment of an accomplishment. He was the product which she had forged from fear, from pain and resentment while in desolation. He represented what she had made from the ruins that the Chairman had left her pride in.

"I have found something important during this process. Writing this story. I've never been happier. The Chairman wanted to make me into a weapon but instead I have made a weapon for myself. He took my pride but he gave me something priceless: a dream. I never thought a person like me could have dreams Choi Young Do."

His lips parted slightly as if he had something to say, as if her words wrung his heart. Eun Sang didn't let him say anything because she didn't want to lose momentum.

"You also know how futile it is for me to have dreams. Don't you? Is it funny to see me so determined? Poor fool. Thinking she can go against the Chairman. You told Moon Joon Young once that his life would always be the same because in the future you would be his employer. There is nothing we can do, is there? We will always get beaten. These are the words he shared with me then — when he asked me to go to you for his sake. So you could withdraw the lawsuit."

Young Do's expression fell. The pain in his eyes at the realization of the weight of his words was striking. Those words had been poison and it was a poison being used against her with the same viciousness he had once laced them for another.

"Do you know why poor people cling to their pride?"

His voice was hoarse. "Cha Eun Sang."

"Because it's all we have. It's the one thing you can never take from us, Choi Young Do. Right now, it's my pride which keeps me fighting. Even when it's useless. No matter how hard I work, no matter how good I become, no matter how badly I want this — if the Chairman wants to take it from me, he will. Because he can. He can beat me if he wishes. Just like you beat Moon Joon Young. Just like the Madam beats my mother. Just like your father beats you."

Every single word she spoke was like a bullet shot into his heart. He was shaken. She could see it. This was the other side of the coin. The side he had seen from his mighty throne but had been too arrogant to consider. She had to make an example of herself for him to truly understand what it felt like to be kicked while on the ground, with nothing to hold on to.

"Fear. I don't want them to see I'm afraid. I don't want them to know I'm afraid of losing." Her voice became unsteady but she held herself upright. "Even when they _step_ on me I want to show them it doesn't hurt. Even if it's so painful that I want to die, even if standing is unbearable after so much abuse; I want to show them it isn't. Do you know why I strike back even when I know it's so useless?"

_Do you know why Moon Joon Young hit you?_

"Because I'm being attacked." The tears were an embarrassment. This wasn't the strength she wanted to show. "Because even if it's useless this is all I have left. This much at least, Choi Young Do. Let me show this much. To make him hurt and bleed a little, to show he can't break me entirely; these things are worth the consequences. Do you understand now?"

Eun Sang angrily wiped her eyes dry. He was standing in front of her now, so close she could feel her skin tingle by his mere proximity.

"What are you doing to me?"

_The same thing you're doing to me._

His voice trembled as his hand reached to caress her cheek. "Making me realize how wrongly I've lived. How ugly I am. How bad I am. That not even the precious gems on my crown can distract the attention from the filth on my face. Making me want to protect you with everything that I have."

"You don't have to protect me," she said. "If my existence in your life can make you see this much and somehow inspire you to live differently, I'll consider it enough."

"It's not enough."

"What can I possibly give you?" She shouted. "I have _nothing_!"

His eyes blurred. "You have everything my world has lacked, Cha Eun Sang."

"What?"

"I'm not asking you to forget everything and run away with me. I hate people who run more than anything in this world."

_What do you want from me?_

"Am I asking you to marry me? Am I asking you to leave everything for my sake?" He added desperately. "All I want is to stand by your side while we're at the forefront of battle. To give you support. To get support from you."

"Is that really all you want?"

"Of course it's not! But I can't ask for more right now." He tucked her hair behind her ear. "I can barely control myself when you look at me but I manage. Because now isn't the time to ask you for more than just believing in my sincerity. In me. As a man. As a person. As someone trying to learn from his mistakes. I can see my filth well, Eun Sang. But what can I do? It's already there. I can only wipe it off as I go along."

"I already see you as a man," she finally said. "And in order to be able to see you as a man, I had to accept you as a person. As someone who made many mistakes. I've never asked you to change, Choi Young Do. I've only hoped you would — not for me — but because you don't need to become anything you don't want to be.

He exhaled. "When we're both standing where we want to be, I will ask you then. What I really want. I will ask it of you then."

"And I will listen."

"Will you really?"

"Yes."

"Then how could you write such a disappointing end?"

She cursed under her breath. "I told senior not to show it to anyone."

"In the end," he recited the epilogue. "She had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. He was everywhere. In her dreams, in her waking moments, in her innermost desires. Driven to murder, to unspeakable sins, to absolute insanity, Ji Eun had nothing left worth fighting for. Life was meaningless. So Ji Eun did the only thing she could do. The same madness which had made Hyun Joong take his own life, it also possessed her. If she could not overcome him, she would join him. In death. In torment. And at least in death she could keep him from tainting another soul, the way he'd tarnished hers. She would become exactly what he wanted to make of her and he would come to regret the monster he had made, forever."

"That ending isn't about you."

"I'm not worried about my end," he said. "I'm worried about yours. I know these words are for the Chairman. But what can I do? You have shown me today how wrongly I've lived. Do you think I'll let you go as far as I've come?"

"For once in my life," Hyo Shin half sung the words. "I agree with something he says."

Every muscle of Young Do's face twisted with annoyance. "Your timing is always so—"

"Opportune, I'd say." Hyo Shin smiled. "Are you done taking the photographs that will scandalize our principal?"

"Your inconspicuous way of telling me to leave insults my intelligence."

"Some would call it manners or even diplomacy." Hyo Shin said. "Should I be rude then? Get going. I have to take Eun Sang to the computer lab. There isn't much time left."

"Time for what?" Eun Sang frowned.

"To rewrite that horrible ending, of course." Hyo Shin replied.

"What do you mean rewrite? I can't possibly—"

"I thought you wanted to write a story that left an impression of hope, and forgiveness." Hyo Shin's eyes darkened. "What kind of hope and forgiveness is found in suicide, Cha Eun Sang?"


	11. Dreams

"Where are we going?" Eun Sang asked. "The computer lab isn't that way."

Hyo Shin turned to look at her over his shoulder. He was leading her in the opposite direction. He gave her a suspicious frown. "Are you just going to change the end because I said so?"

This question caught her off guard. She hadn't even thought that she could, indeed, refuse to change the ending. It was her story after all. As usual, Hyo Shin seemed to guess her thoughts because he smiled knowingly. He knew a great deal about people; what they thought, what they dreamed, and even what they feared. He was an observer, always absorbing his surroundings through a mask of disinterest. How much had he gotten to know about her?

"I'm worried that you thought you had to change the end simply because I said so. Do you plan to fold so easily under pressure?"

"Were you testing me?"

"I don't believe in testing people," he said. "I believe in provoking them."

And yet he always defended peace.

"What worries me is not so much the act of suicide but rather the emotion behind it."

"It's a fictional story. It has no relevance—"

"Do you plan to fool me with such unconvincing lies?" He sounded amused. "At the beginning he was an incarnation of Young Do, wasn't he? But now the ghost has become a representation of your nightmares."

"I'm not going to kill myself, I assure you."

"There are many forms of suicide, Eun Sang." He nodded ahead toward the gardens. "Want to hear about mine?"

For Eun Sang, Hyo Shin had always been an enigma. He was studious, good looking, very popular, charismatic, and yet he was solitary. His loneliness was self imposed. Hyo Shin didn't lack friends, it was rather that he didn't seem to want to cultivate the relationships in order to deepen the bonds. People knew of him what Hyo Shin wanted them to know. She was aware of this because she also hid like him. It was just that while Eun Sang lived in the background Hyo Shin was even further away by being one step behind.

As he stood there, seemingly willing to show what he hid behind his mysterious smile, Eun Sang found herself curious enough to take the bait. She walked ahead of him and was satisfied when he quickly fell into step beside her. His pace was leisurely, as though they weren't pressed for time. Eun Sang didn't hasten because she thought that perhaps he was gathering courage along the way.

Hyo Shin sat at one of the benches under a tree and looked up at the sky. He reached out a hand and caught a stray snowflake. At times like this he seemed like someone with a burden heavier than his shoulders could sustain. And she wondered, not for the first time, just what made him look that way.

"You're wondering, aren't you?"

Eun Sang blinked. "How do you do that?"

"Magic," he smiled. "You really must be puzzled when you're willing to stand in the cold for a revelation."

"You knew I would be."

"I'm not that arrogant. But I am glad you're curious."

Eun Sang sat next to him. She watched him from the corner of her eyes. He dug inside his jacket and pulled out a bottle of pills. He shook it next to his ear and then handed it to her. It was a prescription medication written for him, with many refills. For what it was, Eun Sang couldn't begin to guess.

"Sometimes they tell me I don't seem to feel much of anything."

A pang of guilt hit her, as though the comment was directed at her despite the lack of accusation in his tone.

"Those pills are supposed to take the bad feelings away," he said. "But they end up taking even the good ones too. Sometimes I don't feel anything. I can see a tragedy taking place right in front of me and not be moved. I know I'm living in this body and yet some days I can't even feel it."

Eun Sang rubbed her thumb across his name on the label. This was more than she expected.

"At first my mother didn't let me carry all the pills." His smile was as cold as the breeze. "She was afraid I would try to do it again."

Eun Sang blanched. "What?"

_He couldn't possibly mean…_

"I tried to kill myself once."

Her eyes flew up to see that he was looking at her. That he was serious. Eun Sang had so many questions, so many thoughts, but none of them came out.

"Surprised?" This time his smile was warmer. "You thought wealthy people had no reasons to want to give up, didn't you?"

She couldn't stop staring. It seemed so impossible that someone like him— someone as illustrious as him— could have been driven to such desperate measures. She couldn't help the surprise in her voice. "It's not that I thought it impossible but you—"

"I seem to have it all?"

She nodded.

"My mother, to this day, thinks I'm ungrateful. Having the privilege of being born into a good family. A family whose name is influential. A name with a legacy to uphold." He chuckled bitterly. "She doesn't understand why I did it. She doesn't even want to know why I threw _everything_ away."

That small bottle of pills in her hands became heavy. The burden of the crowns they wore — they could be this unbearable. She had never considered that these heirs suffered the same way she did. That they too could feel oppression and suffocation; that in their beautiful, glamorous world — which others often envied — they could find so many things lacking.

"It was on a random school trip that I found something that made me happy," he reminisced. "I took a video camera with me because I wanted to show someone special all the pretty places I visited. While I was recording the landscape, without any real intention, I found this couple and their children. They were everything that my family wasn't. Which is probably why I was so fascinated by them. They were real people. Not fictional characters pretending to be a harmonious family. That day I realized just how much I was lacking ."

Eun Sang listened with care. His voice softened with emotion. How heavy his memories were if they prefaced the tragedy of his attempted suicide.

_Everyone is fighting their battles, some with raging noise and others in silence._

"I followed them secretly. Recording at a distance. It felt wrong to do it but I was compelled by their interactions. Up until then I hadn't really seen how dysfunctional my family was. I thought my life was normal. Those strangers showed me it wasn't."

"Did you envy them? That family?"

He considered for a moment. "More than envy I felt curiosity. I lived conditioned to think that my life was the best. That I couldn't, and shouldn't, ask for more. The moment I was born as a man into my house my fate was decided for me. I didn't know there was another world beyond mine. I didn't know I had other choices for my life."

"Was it a world you wanted?"

Hyo Shin looked ahead as if the words were clogged in his throat. Finally, with effort, he replied. "I just want freedom, Eun Sang. Just like you."

She understood that sentiment perfectly. It seemed like such a simple wish. Something that should be easily attainable considering the time they lived in. And yet it wasn't. Freedom could be as distant as a bright star in the sky.

"As soon as I got home I bought video editing software. I didn't know how to use it but I researched online. I edited the clips together, spent hours looking for an appropriate melody. It was a frustrating, tiresome process but I loved every minute of it."

"That's how you became interested in film-making, isn't it?"

He nodded. "None of my awards or achievements. None of the recognition I received from my family. Nothing I had ever accomplished, until then, gave me the satisfaction I got from making that five minute video."

_It was like being able to breathe._

"I wanted to show my mother what I had done. I wanted to share with her the discovery of my true passion — what made me happy — but she didn't even give me five minutes of her time. It had nothing to do with law school, and law school was my destiny."

Finally, he turned to her. "Do you know why I let you join the broadcasting club?"

"I've always wondered. I know you weren't impressed with my interview. And it was too obvious to you why I wanted to join. You saw right through me."

"I was impressed, Eun Sang." His smile was handsome. "Even if you were joining just for the money, in your eyes, I saw it. Determination. Resistance against the odds. I related to you. We were both fighting. We were both fighting something bigger than us."

"We still are."

"Yes. We still are."

Eun Sang felt grateful to him. For knowing her struggle without having to be told. For giving her a chance when he didn't have to. He was a good person. A good friend. Someone who, despite his pain, could show kindness and consideration.

"I'm glad you weren't successful."

"At killing myself?" He laughed genuinely. "You have the strangest way of expressing your thankfulness."

Her smile was small but heartfelt.

"I'm also glad I failed. Because there is more to do in life than there is in death. See, if I would have died I wouldn't have been able to let you in the broadcasting—"

"Don't even say something like that."

"But it's true. We all affect one another, Eun Sang. All of us."

She looked at him. How could he see so much with those eyes?

"You always amaze me."

"Don't let Young Do hear you."

She smiled. "Is that why you don't like the ending I wrote? Because there is more to do in life than in death?"

"It's because you said that Ji Eun had nowhere to go or hide. That she had nothing left worth fighting for. That life was meaningless. This is hopelessness, Eun Sang. Those are the words of someone who has been defeated."

"But in order to stop him she must die."

"If that's the point you want to convey do you think your words were appropriate?"

She thought about it.

"Is she choosing death because it's the only way to stop his rampage or is she doing it because there is nothing else to do but die? There is a difference, you see."

It was a very huge difference which she hadn't considered. Eun Sang had simply written the words which poured out from her without thought of how they could be interpreted. The sacrifice she wanted to convey, the words of forgiveness she wanted to give Hyun Joong in death, those words had been omitted.

"The way you phrased it," he said. "It's like she's only doing it because there is nothing else left to do. She's giving up. Is that what you wanted to show the audience?"

"No."

"Her hopelessness echoed my own when I tried to take my own life. I'm not saying it pains me to read it. I just wonder if you realized what you were saying in those lines."

Her hands felt like icicles. "I wrote it last night. The ending. And I… it wasn't… I was very upset."

"Does it have to do with Young Do?"

Eun Sang bit her lip feeling the emotions surface. "The ending isn't about him."

"So you told him." He sounded unconvinced. "But is it really unrelated?"

"You know what I am going through right now. What the Chairman is doing to me. I want to be brave but the truth is that I'm scared. I'm absolutely terrified. In the beginning I had nothing, so I wasn't afraid of losing."

"And now you have something that he can take from you?"

"A dream." There was more but she was reluctant to share it. "Like you, I have found my passion. Participating in this project has been an epiphany. Now that I have something I want. What if the Chairman takes it from me?"

"You're going to let him?"

"Can I really stop him?"

"You can _die_ trying."

She gave him a pointed look.

"I open up a little and you get comfortable enough to glare at your senior?"

"You know he has the power to destroy my life."

"My mother also has that power," he said. "Even though I tried to kill myself, she still pushes me to do what she wants me to do. Even when I tell her I don't want to, that I have my own dreams. Even then she simply ignores me and reminds me about my responsibilities. My family pushes me the same way you're being pushed."

"But she is your mother. She loves you. The Chairman has no such attachment to me."

"What good is love when it doesn't protect you?" He took the bottle of pills from her hand. "At any moment, I could end it, if I wanted to. She knows this. But she pushes me. Just like the Chairman pushes you. People like them, you see, they only see the world from their perspective. There is nothing else to see. They will never wear your shoes to know how it feels to walk in them. The only thing left for you to do is show them how you walk."

"I really don't want to lose, senior."

Hyo Shin studied her. "There is more that you don't want to lose than just a new found dream, isn't there, Eun Sang?"

The truth was often heavy. Sometimes it was so heavy that one had to express it no matter the consequences. For Eun Sang there was little strength left to carry it, to keep it locked within her like a secret that should never be brought to light. Still she felt she had to endure it.

"Choi Young Do," he said. "You've come to like him, haven't you?"

Eun Sang sighed.

"I knew as much already." Hyo Shin smiled. "And the reason why you can't tell me is because you haven't even told him."

Eun Sang didn't know until last night just how much she liked Young Do. The thought of him being engaged to someone felt like her heart had been clawed out from her chest. She hadn't anticipated that she could feel so devastated at the thought that he, like Tan, was one of those unreachable stars.

"I will ask you something you can answer," Hyo Shin said. "Do you want to end it with those dark, hopeless words or has your heart found the right ones to leave at the Chairman's feet?"

Eun Sang only smiled.

* * *

The last time that Eun Sang had walked into Zeus Hotel she had come to eat with Young Do as part of the agreement which he had blackmailed her to accept. He had promised to not just reveal her most painful secrets to the entire school, but also arrange for her life at Jeguk to be as scandalous as possible, if she did not meet his demands. She knew that the worst thing she could have done was give in to the intimidation of a bully. Had circumstances been different, Eun Sang wouldn't have given in to him. The Chairman, however, had been explicit in commanding that she should not draw attention to herself, that her name shouldn't be uttered by gossiping lips, and that she should not become a problem for the Chairwoman who was the honorable principal of Jeguk High and its foundation. A foundation which sponsored her full scholarship and would keep a close eye on her performance as a student, and a person.

This time, as she pushed through the revolving doors of that impressive hotel, the situation was entirely different. She was walking in as an employee. She was also the weapon being used by a greedy, old man who saw people as pawns to be moved to his convenience and benefit.

_You can turn it around._

Eun Sang went to the front desk, just as Young Do had told her to do. They immediately recognized and greeted her with a respect she didn't deserve. She would be another employee, just like them.

"Hello Ms. Cha Eun Sang."

The woman behind the counter extended a card to her. It was the key to a room. With it came a small piece of paper.

"Your uniform is there."

Eun Sang opened the folded note. It was written in Young Do's handwriting. She could hardly believe the words which he had quickly scribbled.

_**Indeed it is my suite, little lamb. Don't make a fuss about it and just change quickly. You don't want to be tardy. You will know the wrath of the terrifying manager if so.**_

Eun Sang handed the key back to the clerk. "I'm sorry, but don't you have any lockers for the employees?"

She looked at her coworker with a nervous smile. "Yes. We do. But—"

"Would it be too much to ask to have my uniform brought there?" Eun Sang leaned closer. "I don't want people to get the wrong impression."

Even though the wrong impression was precisely what the Chairman wanted her to give, Eun Sang didn't want to do so in such an obvious way. The staff already knew that she had gone into Young Do's room before. There was no need to stir those past memories. She was perfectly capable of making new, less compromising rumors for the Chairman's satisfaction.

"Let me see what I can do for you."

The women whispered among themselves. Their conflict was obviously paramount. It was certainly Young Do who had given the order of having her change in his suit and if his fame still preceded him, then people would fear to contradict him.

"We're very sorry," the clerk bowed. "These are orders we can't override."

_I knew it._

The room key was handed back to her. Eun Sang took it with slight indignation. She would have some words with Young Do.

_You're a bad guy, Choi Young Do._

The way to his room was one she had memorized. It was far easier to take the steps to his door this time. She even swiped the card without hesitation and slipped inside quickly. Leaning against the door, Eun Sang took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She heard a hearty bark and opened her eyes in time to see Hades running toward her wagging his tail. She couldn't help smile at the dog's friendliness. Eun Sang knelt in front of him and petted his head.

"He wanted to see you."

Eun Sang lifted her eyes and saw Young Do leaning against the wall with his arms and legs crossed. Gone were the effects of makeup and his hair had been meticulously arranged in the most perfect coif he had ever accomplished. A thick brow rose in question at her lingering gaze. His eyes moved up as if he could see what she did.

"You always look at my hair," he commented.

He noticed even those details? What else had he caught her doing without her knowing?

"I've only ever seen it come undone once."

"Ah, yes. When Tan dumped me into the pool."

"You deserved that one."

His smile was pleasant. "It would have been better if you had pulled me with you."

"I'll keep that in mind next time."

"Next time." His smile became mischievous. "Is that a promise, Cha Eun Sang?"

She stood and placed her book bag by the door. Hades seemed to not care about their mundane conversation and walked away. He curled by the window and watched them with mild interest.

"Why is there a dress on your bed?"

"You're going to wear it."

"Why am I going to wear a dress while I wash dishes?" She narrowed her eyes. "Where is my uniform?"

Young Do was already wearing his. Simple black trousers and a white button down shirt. He always looked stylish no matter what he wore.

"It's in my closet."

"I would prefer for it to be in the locker. I am an employee—"

"I am also an employee and my uniform isn't in a locker."

"You are the heir to this hotel."

"You keep marking our differences." He was annoyed. "It makes me want to erase them. Should I just give up my inheritance and run away with you?"

"You wouldn't do that."

His eyes sparked at the challenge. "You presume to know my thoughts to the point where you can say, with such absolute conviction, what I will or will not do?"

"Do you think you can live without all this?"

"You don't seem to understand that I am Choi Young Do." His lips lingered on the last syllable of his name. "And as such, I can very well live in whatever manner I please, Cha Eun Sang. Starting with nothing, at the bottom. This isn't terrifying. I already had a taste of it, you know. Take away this empire and I'll just build one of my own."

She knew he was strong enough to accomplish what he said. She knew that even without his money, or his name, he could excel in life. Young Do was intelligent, cunning. He could be charming and persuasive. If he set his mind to it, Eun Sang was confident he could have whatever he wanted.

_Even you, Cha Eun Sang._

"I need to change." She glanced at her wristwatch. "Work is soon."

"Work isn't until Monday."

"You said—"

He shrugged, "I lied."

"Ya! Choi Young Do. Is this a game to you?"

"When you avoid me it makes me want to do bad things. Like lying, for example." He shook his head with disappointment. "Here I am trying to become a nice, gentle person but you just don't let me grow into such a man, do you?"

Eun Sang scoffed. "Do you really want to become nice?"

"Ya!" He frowned with a smile. Only he could accomplish two opposing expressions so flawlessly. "You say that like if I were truly terrible."

"Only sometimes."

He laughed. "There are many things that I aspire to be in life. Good and gentle don't make the list."

"It wouldn't suit you."

He pushed himself off the wall and walked toward her. "Are you saying that you like me just the way I am?"

There was nowhere to run. He was in front of her and the door was behind. The question was as heavy as his gaze and Eun Sang felt entirely embarrassed because the answer was probably vividly spread across her face. She tried to slide past him but Young Do easily caught her arm and turned her to him. Hades barked in protest.

Young Do glanced at his dog. "You've even made a knight out of Hades."

"I suppose there is a reason why you tricked me into coming today."

He pressed his lips together.

"Well?"

"Whatever you thought last night is wrong," he said. "You didn't let me explain then, or this morning. I will explain it to you now."

"Are _you_ presuming to know my thoughts?"

He bit his tongue and smiled. "This is why you fascinated me."

"Don't say things like that."

"Why not? Does it make you nervous?"

"If it's not what I imagined," she said. "What is it then?"

"I am not engaged." He pulled her closer. "I will _never_ become engaged for business."

"Do you have a choice?"

"We always have a choice, Cha Eun Sang."

"I don't want to be the reason."

"You're not."

She looked at him.

"That I like you." He lifted his hand to run his thumb gingerly across her lips. "That I want you. It isn't a secret to you. But you're not the reason for my stance in this matter."

Eun Sang hadn't expected that answer. It wasn't that she thought she could move him to change such important decisions but rather that she didn't estimate marriage was something he could consider in such a high esteem.

"Long before you walked into my life I decided that I would never let my father control that aspect of my life. Marrying for money, for the expansion of business — I'm not interested. There is no amount of money that can buy me. I refuse to be an asset."

"Even if I'm not the reason," she said. "Even if this is something you decided before meeting me. To your father, I will be the reason. And like the Chairman, he will try to remove me from your life."

"Cha Eun Sang," he whispered. "What scares you so much? What my father can do or the possibility of losing me?"

His eyes searched hers with earnest. There wasn't a trace of arrogance in him. There was only doubt. It was so strange to see his confident expression falter because her response had a heavy weight for him. Because he truly cared about her answer.

"I'm used to facing adversity," she began. "I'm used to having people step on me. There is a difference though. From those of the past to those I face now. There is a huge difference. You know there is."

He waited.

"When you made me come to you I did so because you had power. Because you had the power to bend me. The only thing I could do to survive was do what you wanted me to do."

He exhaled, looking beyond her. "So this is your answer."

"I gave you my answer long ago. When I stood up against you and told you I wouldn't play with you anymore," she said. "When I told you what the Chairman wanted me to do to you. Going against you who could bend me. Betraying the Chairman who can break me. Isn't it obvious what my answer is?"

"I want to hear it."

"I told you I wouldn't run away."

He pulled her even closer. Eun Sang had never seen him this close in such bright light. She had never been brave enough to look at the fine details when she had no shadows to hide behind. She hadn't noticed the tiny freckles on his nose or the faint scar above his right eye. She hadn't realized that his lips always curved to one side more than the other when he spoke or smiled. Or how his eyes seemed to dart all over her face when he was studying her with such dedication. She hadn't let herself appreciate just how attractive he could be even in all his sharp angles. How breathtaking he was.

Eun Sang reached to touch his face. Her fingertips gently stroked the curve of his cheekbone. He closed his eyes against her touch, his bold lips parting in a soft sigh. She traced the arch of his left brow feeling the soft fibers against the pad of her fingers. Young Do leaned closer. His minty breath moistened her lips.

"Tell me why," his voice was gravelly. "Why you won't run away. _Say_ it."

"Because I like you…"

His lips touched the corner of hers with deliberate softness. He was tempting her and she let him. Eun Sang closed her eyes and leaned into him. She parted her mouth against his. His hands slipped to grip her waist bringing her closer into him. She could feel his body touching every inch of hers. Eun Sang clung to his strong shoulders because she felt too delirious to stand upright. Young Do pushed her backwards until her legs connected with the edge of his bed. He toppled over her. One of his hands moved behind her neck tilting her ever slightly so that he could deepen his flaming kiss.

_I like you._

_I like how you make me feel._

Eun Sang buried her hands into his hair relishing in how good it felt to melt underneath him. His tongue traced the inner fold of her lips with an intentionally languid sweep. Eun Sang found herself reaching out to him wanting to taste every bit of him. He electrocuted all her senses. What she was doing, what he was doing — it was all a blur. His lips slid across her cheek and he whispered her name by her ear.

_I don't want to lose you._

Eun Sang gasped when his mouth seared her neck. She had never been this intimate with anyone. The sensations were completely new and overpowering. She could feel the tension of his muscles beneath her hands. Eun Sang wanted to know what his skin felt like but his shirt made it impossible. She pressed him deeper against her feeling the stroke of his tongue swirl at her pulse. Her cheeks felt like they would burst from heat just like rest of her body. She was scorching underneath him.

"Young Do," she said breathlessly.

He groaned into the curve of her neck and bit her. Eun Sang's surprise didn't overpower her desire. She clung to him tighter, arching into him. He bit her again, this time with a hint of anger. The pain mingled with pleasure, as he kissed where he'd bitten, as hotly as he'd savored her lips.

She knew she had crossed a point of no return.

He was dangerous. He was trouble. He was an all consuming fire. Eun Sang had never been so desperate to burn.

_You're becoming an addiction._

She ran her fingers through his hair pleased with how easily she could disorder it. She wanted to make a mess out of him just like he left her in shambles.

"Young Do." She couldn't stop herself from saying his name. "Young Do…"

His lips silenced her. His previous reservation slipped away and his gentleness became fierce aggression. He kissed her in a way that she had only dared to imagine in her darkest dreams. She should have been frightened by the intensity of his passion, by the way he possessed her with such dominance.

_I can't get enough of you._

He pulled away from her, completely breathless. He rested his forehead on hers, eyes still closed. The hand at her cheek trembled. His voice had deepened to a dark richness which she hadn't heard before.

"Our lamb makes me lose control."

"And you. You make me lose myself."

"As long as you lose yourself to me."

"As long as you don't hurt me."

"I can't promise you that. Because I will probably hurt you. And make you cry."

"I knew you would say that."

"I'll never lie to you. I'll never make empty promises. These are things I can guarantee."

"You lied to get me here…"

His smile was beautiful. "I'm not a good guy, Cha Eun Sang."

"You are. You're good. And you're bad."

"You've brought out the good in me."

She cupped his cheek. "I should run from you. I know I should. But I can't. Some day I may run. I may become too scared of everything you make me feel. I'll only be able to go so far. Whether you catch up to me or I turn around — I'll always end up here. Right where you want me."

He grabbed the hand at his cheek and kissed her open palm. His eyes never left hers. He was completely open to her in that moment.

"You have no idea what you do to me."

"Is the wolf showing me his weakness?"

He chuckled. "Are you becoming comfortable enough to tease me like this?"

"I can't tease you?"

"You can tease me all you want, Cha Eun Sang." He dipped to bite her lower lip. "Just know I will take revenge on you. _Every time_."

Eun Sang didn't care if he saw her blush. He already knew just how much she liked him. There was no use in trying to pretend otherwise. There was no use in hiding just how his words affected her.

The doorbell echoed through Young Do's suite. He grunted in annoyance. They were in a very compromising position. Eun Sang pushed at his chest. She had to get up to compose herself.

He pinned her down again. "Where are you going?"

"Someone is at your door."

"And they can continue to be at my door if they'd like."

"Young Do."

He licked his lips. "It may not hurt to hear you call me like that anymore but it certainly still provokes me to do very bad things."

The doorbell rang again.

"What if it's your father?"

"The only one reason why he would come to see me today would be because he found out I used my name to get you a job here. And trust me, he wouldn't be ringing my door if so."

"I don't want him to hurt you."

"He won't kill me."

"Is that supposed to comfort me?"

_I don't want him to hit you._

"Worrying for me—" He whispered. "—makes me want to kiss you."

"Ya! Young Do! I know you're in there!" It was Myung Soo's voice. He knocked furiously on the door.

"You call me here for the pictures and then you leave me waiting at the pool? You even kicked out all the cute girls."

Young Do rolled his eyes and slid off Eun Sang. "This is why I called you here today."

"To take pictures?"

"For the radio drama. Myung Soo wants to take pictures of you in the pool so he can blend it with the photos he took of me this morning."

"We don't even know if it got approved yet."

"Of course we got approved. Didn't Lee Hyo Shin call you?"

Eun Sang couldn't believe it.

_I did it… the drama will go live._

"Did you change the end?"

"You didn't read the revision?"

"Senior wouldn't let me."

"Ya! Choi Young Do!" Myung Soo shouted. "I heard you already! Open up."

While Young Do went to the door Eun Sang bolted off the bed and went to the bathroom to straighten herself. Her hair was a mess and her school uniform had wrinkled. Her lips were swollen and evidenced what had transpired between her and Young Do. Eun Sang buried her face into her hands.

_But you won the first battle, Cha Eun Sang. Even if he fails you. The story you wrote. People will hear it. People will hear what you want to tell them through the characters._

"Ya! What happened to your hair?" She heard Myung Soo ask. "Ya! Ya! Why is your bed like that? Were you taking a nap? Seriously! You tell me to come and you're not even ready. Where is Cha Eun Sang? Didn't you call her?"

There was no use in hiding. Young Do's bathroom could be seen from the outside. Myung Soo would know that someone was in there and considering the previous arrangement he would guess it was her.

Eun Sang stepped out hoping to that she looked more presentable than she felt.

"Cha Eun Sang was here already?"

Myung Soo took in her appearance from toe to head, and back down. Then he quickly looked at Young Do and pointed between the two. Hades, who had quietly witnessed everything, came to stand by his master.

"You two!" Myung Soo gave them a devious smile. "You two were doing bad things weren't you?" He turned to Hades. "Weren't they?"

Hades only tilted his head.

Young Do frowned at his friend. "Ya! Why are you asking him? Can he talk?"

"No." Myung Soo wiggled his brows. "But the bed is telling me all I need to know."

Young Do punched his shoulder with more strength than was warranted. Myung Soo howled in pain and frowned at his friend.

"You bully! Now you even hit your best friend?"

Young Do lifted a fist threateningly and Myung Soo quickly hid behind Eun Sang. "Protect me from his wrath."

"Get away from her before I really hit you."

Myung Soo pouted from over Eun Sang's shoulder. "First promise me that no matter what I will always be your first love."

"What's this?" Young Do chuckled. "Do you want to die before experiencing _your_ first love?"

"I already fell in love!" Myung Soo said defensively. "Don't disregard my first love like that!"

Eun Sang looked at Myung Soo. "You've been in love?"

Young Do snorted. "First it was Lee Bo Na and then Yoo Rachel. Who is next?"

Myung Soo hugged Eun Sang from behind and said sweetly, "How about Cha Eun Sang?"

"You're going to die by my hands today."

Young Do went for him but Myung Soo hopped over the bed and went around very narrowly missing Young Do's dive for his arm. Hades bit the scuff of his pants and Myung Soo tripped face first onto the floor.

Young Do smiled wickedly. "Any parting words?"

Myung Soo lifted an arm dramatically at Eun Sang . "You, who could have been my third first love, remember me as handsome as I am."

* * *

In the end Young Do didn't kill Myung Soo and they proceeded to take the pictures for the radio drama. With renewed hope, Eun Sang gave the best of herself for the camera. The concept of the photo shoot had been interesting. Myung Soo wanted Eun Sang to be in the pool wearing a white, modest dress which was meant to show Ji Eun's initial goodness and purity. Myung Soo explained that when he read the story he thought that Ji Eun was drowning in the vileness of Hyun Joong's heart. She was to have her arms pulled taut by rusted chains tied around her wrist which represented the unbreakable bond with Hyun Joong. It surprised Eun Sang that he had been able to capture such a deep interpretation of the story when he seemed like such a light person.

Young Do shared with her, during a break, that Myung Soo could be dense about everything except photography.

_So we all have our dreams…_

It took them two hours trying various different angles for Myung Soo to finally announce that he had gotten "the shot." He promised to shock them with a poster that would fit Eun Sang's imagination. She really anticipated it with a grateful heart.

Young Do had let her take a shower in his suite while he saw Myung Soo off. He didn't come into his room until she sent him a text stating that she was fully dressed.

"I'll take you home," he offered.

"I was actually going to apply for a weekend job now."

He raised a brow at that. "If you keep working so much you'll really become new money."

"We both know my stay at Zeus will be short."

"She hasn't even started working here and already she is thinking of leaving. What kind of place are you betraying Zeus with?"

"I think it's a cafe. This will be my first time going."

"A cafe? Do you like making coffee that much?"

"The owner seemed like a nice woman. I'd like to have something to fall back on when your father fires me."

He crossed his arms. "You haven't been to the cafe but you met the owner? Our lamb has been quite busy during the times she's been avoiding me."

"I met her while working at Mango Six. She offered me the job when she heard I was quitting."

"What is the place called? Maybe I know it."

"Secret Garden."

He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I haven't heard of this place. Are you sure that woman wasn't a con artist? What if she wants to lure you to some unknown place to sell you off to_real_ bad guys?"

"My manager knows her," she said. "If you're so worried you can just come with me. But don't interfere. And don't glare at her."

"Why would I glare at her if she's so nice?"

"Because you're Choi Young Do."


	12. Secret Garden

_Secret Garden _was a quaint, brick-built establishment with large pane windows that offered an extensive view of the interior. It wasn't quite what Eun Sang had expected from a woman whose attire had reminded her of the Madam. The décor was cozy and as alluring as the scent of freshly brewed coffee. The delicious pastries tempted patrons from within their glass displays. The customers were a mixture of young adults and a few families with well behaved children. There was a sprinkling of high school students reading thick novels on the lounge chairs. The books were undoubtedly borrowed from the wall-to-wall book shelf at the far end of the cafe. Eun Sang liked the atmosphere. The people seemed educated but unpretentious – unlike those in the world which she was forced to live in.

"Who would have guessed that such a nice place was hidden inside such a hideous building," Young Do drawled. He leaned over her shoulder to look through the window. "The other shops in here look nice too."

"The building isn't hideous."

He ignored her remark. "It's very busy. Are those children I see? It's a good thing you have practice dealing with devious customers."

Eun Sang rolled her eyes. "I do remember a tall child once. He spilled his mango smoothie on the floor which I had just finished mopping."

"Ah, yes." He placed his chin on her shoulder. "The things kids will do for attention."

"I thought you were just dropping me off."

"Are you treating me like your chauffeur right now?"

"Are you going to behave?"

Eun Sang pointed at the family sitting closest to their view point. Their children sat properly and drank their juices with graceful etiquette. They didn't fuss or cry or cause a scene.

"If they can do it. So can you."

His laughter wasn't promising.

"Choi Young Do. I'm serious."

"Whatever happened," he whispered by her ear. "To calling me Young Do? Is Choi Young Do what you'll revert to when you're mad?"

Eun Sang hated when he spoke in that hushed, suggestive tone. She hated how it made her insides tangle and melt all at once. It was a strange feeling – to be overwhelmed by a boy. With a sigh, she moved from him, hoping distance would help clear her mind. She could still feel his lips burning her neck and it was the last thing she needed to recall at that moment.

_Focus. You've never been this type of girl._

"I'm not mad," she said through tight teeth. "I'm threatening you."

"Really?" He chuckled. "You need to work on your intimidation skills, Cha Eun Sang. The only thing you're provoking in me is—"

She placed a hand on his mouth. "Must you torture me?"

He arched a brow and bit her. Eun Sang yelped, pulling away. She stared with disbelief at his teeth marks on the palm of her hand.

"You bit me!"

Young Do crossed his arms. "You said I could stay as long as I didn't glare at your future boss."

"Or spill drinks. Or give the staff a hard time. Or cause any form of trouble—"

"Too many demands." He leaned against the window. "What are you going to give me to assure compliance to such an extensive list of requirements?"

"Do you have to make everything into a deal?"

"Some habits are hard to break." He pressed his lips together smugly. "I'm a businessman at heart."

"What do you want?"

He pulled her by the edge of her coat. "Are you really going to give me whatever I want?"

Her eyes fell on his lips.

"Cook for me again." Young Do smiled. He hadn't missed her wandering thought. "In my kitchen. Wearing my apron."

"Do you even have an apron?"

"Of course I do. I even know how to cook."

"I don't believe you."

"What's this?" He grinned. "Are you challenging me to prove it? Should I cook for you?"

"You shouldn't eat instant ramen if you can cook for yourself."

He scrunched his face. "What good is it to cook when there's no one to compliment me? Am I supposed to pat myself on the back and praise myself? Oh! Young Do – the food was amazing." He held his face affectionately. "Ya! How can you be so perfect? You're so handsome – and skilled. I would marry you right away if I could."

She laughed. "You are incorrigible."

"We have asserted this previously." He ran his fingers through her hair. It was such a simple gesture and yet it made Eun Sang feel impossibly hot. "There are things about me which are unlikely to ever change, little lamb. Ah – how soft is your _wool_."

"You really do take your metaphors seriously," she whispered.

"You seem incapable of hearing the explicit words of my heart, Cha Eun Sang. Metaphors are all I have left."

It was true. Even his ridiculous words were hard to accept.

_Because you feel the weight of his words._

Eun Sang looked at Young Do. Every time he peeled his layers away she was surprised by what she found. She had once considered him untouchable – unreasonable – someone she could not even remotely relate to. That boy who prowled through school marking his territory like a zealous beast was more than just dangerous trouble. He was more than aggression. His heart, which she had once considered unfeeling and black, was just bruised and soiled.

She wanted to cook for him – with him – and share many meals together. She wanted to have conversations with him about what his dreams were, what he hoped for, and what he wanted from life. Eun Sang found that she wanted to know Young Do more than any person she had ever met in her life. She wanted to keep peeling his layers until she reached the essence.

"I'll cook for you." She stretched her hand to him. "Or we can cook together. I'd like that too."

"A handshake?" He was amused. "You want to seal our deal with a handshake? You disappoint me."

"Should I sign my name in blood? Is that dramatic enough for you?"

He laced his fingers loosely through hers and pulled her for a kiss. It was a gentle brush of his lips. A little taste to remind her how much she liked him – and how she wanted more of him. The taste of him was becoming unforgettable and addicting.

Eun Sang pulled away and looked around. "Are you crazy?"

"Now that our deal is sealed." He squeezed her hand softly. "I'll be on my best behavior."

Eun Sang walked into the cafe and took a deep, steadying breath. Young Do followed behind at a prudent distance. Wearing a simple coat over his uniform from Zeus – he drew the attention of many female customers with his impressive frame. They noticed in Young Do everything that she had only recently become acutely aware of. She resisted the urge to turn around and acknowledge him. It was wiser if the owner of Secret Garden didn't make assumptions about the two of them.

_You're here to apply for a job._

She looked around and saw her. Standing behind the main counter, holding an adorable little boy in her arms, was Yoo Kyung Ran. Her smile was so bright that it lit up everyone around her. She was as beautiful as she was kind. She spoke to her customers and staff with such consideration and familiarity that Eun Sang couldn't help feel her nerves relax. Kyung Ran dressed as impeccably as the Madam but her heart was as humble as her mother's. It was a comforting fact.

"He's getting so big," she heard a lady say with sweetness. "How old is he now?"

Kyung Ran caressed the boy's cute face. "Our Nam Soon is five."

The woman cooed. "You must be so proud to have such a handsome little boy."

They talked some more about their children and then bid their farewells. Eun Sang stepped forward and bowed politely at her. Kyung Ran's smile widened with joyful recognition.

"Cha Eun Sang! You came after all."

"You remembered my name."

"Your smile is most memorable." She beamed. "Are you here to get acquainted with the place or perhaps to take up my offer?"

"I would like to work here on the weekends, if possible. To start."

"I would be happy to accommodate that."

The little boy in her arms looked up and pointed beyond Eun Sang. Kyung Ran's eyes lifted and her expression fell. It was like seeing a mask slip away to reveal the sorrowful expression beneath it. Kyung Ran's breath caught in her throat. A barista took Nam Soon from her arms as if understanding her perturbation. Kyung Ran walked around the counter with faltering steps. She was shaking.

_What's going on here?_

Young Do was standing in the middle of the cafe looking perplexed. Confusion twisted his face into a frown. His eyes darted from Kyung Ran to the child behind the counter with growing aggravation. It was an anger so hot that Eun Sang was taken back by its intensity. The fearless boy, the confident Choi Young Do – his walls were falling. Eun Sang could see raw pain – a brokenness so shattered that she doubted the pieces could ever be put together again.

"Young Do," Kyung Ran called out tenderly.

He took a step away from her as if he'd been slapped. Kyung Ran reached out to him. He stepped back – further and further – until he stormed out of the cafe. Kyung Ran went after him, calling his name desperately. People stared after them, murmuring. Who was the young man? Why had Kyung Ran looked so sick? Why had they gone? Those were the same questions going through Eun Sang's mind. She followed them outside.

Kyung Ran grabbed his arm before Young Do could cross the street. His chauffeur was still there, waiting.

"Please listen to me." Kyung Ran's voice was constrained. "I have waited so long for this."

He was a statue – hard and unforgiving. Young Do turned but didn't meet her eyes. Instead he looked at Eun Sang. "Was it really a coincidence that you met this person?"

She looked between Young Do and Kyung Ran, unable to determine why the atmosphere was so tight. Or why Young Do was so upset. The guilt that was smeared in the woman's eyes – Eun Sang couldn't comprehend it either.

"Cha Eun Sang doesn't know anything," Kyung Ran assured.

"What a baffling coincidence that you two would meet."

"Please come inside," she pleaded. "Let me explain."

"I will embarrass you in front of everyone if we go inside," Young Do chuckled bitterly. "My manners are lacking since I didn't have a mother to properly teach me."

Kyung Ran looked at him as if his words had sliced her throat.

"You were waiting for this moment?" His eyes finally met hers. "What moment is this? The moment which would have never happened had I not come with Cha Eun Sang?"

"I knew you would come eventually."

His scowl deepened. "You planned it this way? A coincidental meeting where I walked into the life you've built without me?"

Eun Sang gasped into her hands. This woman was Young Do's mother. The mother who read books to him, who cooked delicious meals for him – and who had kept a beautiful garden beneath her son's room, so that he could awaken to the beauty of flowers. This was the woman whose return Young Do had waited for – the one who had caused the deepest wound on his heart. Eun Sang knew she should have gone, that she should have let them have this moment alone, but she was rooted on the sidewalk.

_How did this happen?_

The little boy inside was Young Do's brother. A son whom Kyung Ran had raised while the one in front of her spent the past three years torturing himself – and others – over losing her.

"All this time. I have been watching over you."

"Is that supposed to comfort me?" He choked on his words. "To tell me that while my father made of me what he wanted – what _you _hated – you have been watching him do it? Was it easier to leave me because you had another child to care for, mother? A child who obviously doesn't have my father's filthy blood running through his veins."

"It's not what you think, Young Do."

"It all makes sense now." He inhaled sharply looking away from her. His brows furrowed as he recalled the memories. "The fight you had with father. Grandmother making you leave the house. Disappearing for a year. It was because of that child. All this time I thought that father was the only one who cheated. It turns out you're just like him."

Kyung Ran slapped him.

Eun Sang felt her stomach drop. She knew by looking at Young Do that he had done the impossible; he raised his shattered pieces and put them back together. She could see that dangerous glimmer in his eyes – a deranged fascination for destruction. He was going to set the world on fire.

_Don't do it, Young Do. Don't do something you'll regret._

He touched his reddened cheek and looked at his fingertips with a broken smile. "At least your blows don't draw blood."

"Your father would never—"

"Hurt me?" His eyes widened incredulously. "You obviously haven't been watching closely, mother. I'd like to think that. Because if you knew just how he has hurt me and stood by—"

"I thought he would protect you," she sobbed. "You were the only person he truly cared for."

"The only thing my father cares about," Young Do spat. "Is money. Power. Control."

Kyung Ran was crestfallen. "I know how you must feel—"

"Everyone always assumes to know my thoughts or my feelings." He closed his eyes. "It really angers me. Because you don't."

"I deserve your resentment. I know I do…"

"Do you think I _resent _you? Do you think _that _is what I feel right now?" He bit his lip furiously. "You ran away from hell and left me in it, mother. You left me there. And I thought you did it because you had no choice. Because they drove you out."

_Did they really tear her away from her son?_

"I thought that if you didn't come back for me it was because you couldn't. Because you were running like a fugitive from grandmother. I wanted to think that way. Because you were the only person in this awful, cold world who ever showed she loved me."

"I couldn't take you with me. You know they wouldn't let me."

"I _know_ that, mother. I know. But why didn't you wait for me? It was going to be our last meal." His voice faltered. "Do you know how I have lived since? How much I hate myself? I've been sick with guilt. With regret. The two people that mattered most in my life – I lost them that day."

_Kim Tan?_

Eun Sang had known that Young Do and Tan were close in the past. There were so many pictures of the two together at Myung Soo's studio to prove years of friendship. She had always wondered what had been so grave to destroy such a seemingly strong bond. The answer was starting to reveal itself.

"I know, Young Do." She took his hands and held them tight. "I know how much I hurt you. I know I should have waited. I'm so sorry."

"You knew I would look for you. But you hid yourself from me. I wasn't going to ask you to come back, mother. I wasn't going to make you stay in that hell. I just wanted to see you. To know you were well. And when I couldn't find you, I thought the worst. Three years assuming the worst. Fighting with my father for even a chance to ask him where you were. To _earn _the right to ask such a simple question."

"I couldn't let you find me." Kyung Ran wept into her hands. "I couldn't break the agreement."

"Ah, the _agreement_." Young Do glanced at the building behind her. "This business – did grandmother give it to you? Has it been worth my value to you, mother?"

Kyung Ran tried to pull him close but Young Do snatched his hands away.

"Your tears," his voice was ice. "Dry them. Don't you know? The Choi Young Do my father raised is not moved by sentimentality. It's a pity, mother. I am worth far more than a coffee shop. You should have asked for my true worth. I would have at least admired your business sense then."

"Choi Young Do," Eun Sang gasped.

His eyes flashed to her.

Even then, even after saying something so cruel, Eun Sang could see the remorse in his tearful eyes. She could see the twitch of his lip – the apology a whisper away. He was lying. He _was_ moved. He was breathing with relief that all those horrible scenarios he had feared were untrue; his mother was alive and well. Eun Sang saw his hesitation, the jerk of a hand that wanted to reach out to the crying woman in front of him. The boy who had preserved his mother's beautiful garden was wrestling the boy who was too wounded to let love wash away the anguish of abandonment. He was choosing the most painful path because it echoed his suffering.

_You don't know how to be happy._

Young Do pressed his lips into a thin line and took his phone out from his pocket. He flipped it over and showed it to his mother.

"Your father," she said breathlessly. "He doesn't know."

Young Do clenched his jaw. "Did you think I would tell him?"

Without awaiting her response he picked up the call. They could hear the man's angry reproaches. How Young Do was late to work, how they had somewhere to go after, how Young Do disappointed him.

"I'm not skipping work, father. I got caught up in something unexpected. I'm on my way back."

Dong Wook's threats became darker, more menacing. Young Do ended the call.

"I'm late for washing dishes," he announced. "I can't stay to hear your overdue explanation, mother. I don't want to be disciplined again. It's painful. But you can wait for me to come by. Wait for me like I waited for you."

"My son," she whispered shakily.

"Don't call me that."

"I'm your mother."

"I wasn't the one who forgot that."

Young Do's cruelty was his armor. It had been forged by the hard blows of life and the flames of his father's ruthlessness. Beneath the thorns which wrapped around his heart was a boy who longed, who aspired, who could smile beautifully. In order to reach him one had to get cut — one had to bleed.

_There are things about me which are unlikely to ever change, little lamb._

His imperious gaze fell on Eun Sang. "Are you coming with me or staying?"

* * *

Eun Sang donned the apron of Secret Garden as though it were her first day of work. She substituted for the barista who had gone up to Kyung Ran's office to try and calm her after Young Do had left. Kyung Ran had not said much to Eun Sang, not that she needed to. It had been her choice to stay with her. Eun Sang knew the heavy implication of having chosen to stay behind when Young Do had expected her to follow him. To Young Do, those who didn't stand by him were against him. As such, he ignored her texts and calls. After leaving him a sixth voice message, Eun Sang called Myung Soo and asked him to stay with Young Do.

Myung Soo had many questions which she didn't answer. She knew that the weight of curiosity would push Myung Soo to want to find Young Do with more vehemence. He was perhaps the only true friend which Young Do had at this point in his life. Myung Soo promised he would _go to the ends of the Earth _to find his friend. It was that type of loyalty – that bond – which Young Do needed after such a shocking event. He was reckless enough to do something foolish if no one was there to serve as anchor.

_I have to be sure his mother is alright. Do what he couldn't do._

Eun Sang decided, with stronger conviction than before, that she wanted to work at Secret Garden. She forced herself to focus on learning everything which the staff taught her throughout the evening. It seemed that Kyung Ran trusted her secret to a few of the eldest members of her staff. They were especially appreciative of Eun Sang's willingness to serve under those circumstances. At closing, Kyung Ran finally came down looking calmer. Her eyes were still red and swollen – her depression was palpable. She came to Eun Sang and took the mop from her hands.

"I thank you for what you have done tonight." Kyung Ran gave her a faltering smile. "Please let the others handle the rest. I want to talk with you."

Eun Sang bowed.

"You must have a lot of questions."

She did. Eun Sang had enough questions to fill a book.

"I won't ask anything. It's not my place."

"I don't like that," Kyung Ran said. "Hearing it's not your place. When you care for my son."

Eun Sang lowered her head. "I just think that he should hear it from you first."

"Let me exercise bravery by telling you." Kyung Ran took her hands in hers. "I let him walk away with a bad impression. I can't let you do the same."

_Why didn't you go after him?_

The two sat at one of the tables, away from the cleaning staff. One of the workers brought them tea and Kyung Ran poured the hot liquid for Eun Sang with mesmerizing grace.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Kyung Ran took a deep breath. "In order for you to understand, I must summarize my life."

Eun Sang nodded and sipped her tea respectfully.

"My father was the personal assistant of Hong Hye Young, sole heiress of Hong Ru Group. She is the mother of Choi Dong Wook, my ex husband."

Eun Sang didn't know much about Young Do's family other than the fact that they were old money. Rachel had explained as much when she punctuated the differences between them. It wasn't until Kyung Ran explained who Young Do's grandmother was that she realized just how much money and power was behind his name. That the heiress of Hong Ru had married the former president of Zeus — it had definitely been for the glory of money.

"Hong Hye Young was very fond of my father and consequently of me. I suppose a part of it was pity. I didn't have a mother and she didn't have a daughter. My father's position, and her favor, allowed me to have better opportunities than most people of my social class."

_But they never give anything for free._

"She cared for me as a mother would care for a daughter. She taught me most of the things I know. She allowed me to go to good schools. I went to a prestigious university. She was proud of me to the extent that she wanted to find a good husband for me – someone with enough influence to forward my life."

Kyung Ran sighed.

"I fell in love with her son. He was her pride. He was her first born. The smartest, brightest – the most hardworking. He shared his late father's vision for Zeus and she had plans for him. Plans which didn't include having a wife like me. I was not enough. Even if she had educated me, even if she was proud of me, in the end I wasn't good enough for Dong Wook."

"Yet you married him."

"I always wondered why she allowed it. To her, my feelings for Dong Wook were a betrayal. She never gave us her blessing. She didn't even attend the wedding. I foolishly believed that eventually her love for me would cover that heiress pride – that she would accept me. When Young Do was born she spoke to me. For the first time in _years_. I thought it was the beginning of reconciliation but Hong Hye Young had just bid her time. In the end I was still a blemish to her."

Eun Sang hadn't wanted to interrupt but the words tumbled out. "They cleaned you out of his life."

"I know what is happening to you."

Eun Sang panicked. "You do?"

"You are being sponsored by Jeguk Foundation," she said. "Or rather Kim Nam Yoon. I know President Kim well enough to be certain that he is holding something over you in exchange. The bigger their gift to you, the bigger what they take from you will be."

"Is that why you came to see me?"

_Do you know that I was the reason Tan and Rachel broke their engagement?_

"I am in a position now where I can help you."

"Because of Young Do."

"In part," Kyung Ran admitted. "But also because I never want to see you lose the warmth of your smile. Because you remind me of myself when I was your age. If I can spare you what I've lived…"

"What did they do to you?" Eun Sang bit her lip. "If I may ask."

"You can ask me anything you want. I want you to be comfortable with me."

Eun Sang clasped her hands together and nodded vaguely.

"They made me kneel." Her fingers tightened around the handle of her tea cup. "Hong Hye Young schemed against me."

_Is that my future? To be played by the Chairman?_

"You know how hard it is to go to a school full of children who share nothing in common with you."

"Yes, I do."

"I managed to make friends nonetheless. There are always those who don't care how much money is in your bank account. Children who feel just as overwhelmed as you do. Among those few there was Kang Shi On – and he was the closest friend to my heart. I met him when I was eight and we have been inseparable since. They say men and women can't be friends. Shi On and I defied that notion."

_Just like Chan Young and I._

"We went to the same university and even shared a dorm despite how scandalous it was to others. His family loved me. My father loved him. We had a beautiful friendship. Do you believe in such bonds?"

"I do," Eun Sang replied. "I have a very close friend like that too. A lot of people misunderstand us but I'll never see him as more than a good friend."

"Someone you would do anything for."

Eun Sang nodded.

"Shi On came from a family of prominent doctors. He met Eun Gi at the hospital. She had been a patient of his father's. They fell in love and married some time after I wed Dong Wook." Kyung Ran paused to gather herself. "We were great friends – the three of us. When I became pregnant with Young Do, Eun Gi was so happy for me. She loved children. But she couldn't have any. She had been battling cancer."

Kyung Ran's eyes swelled with tears. "Her biggest dream was to become a mother. To have a child with Shi On. When she approached me to be surrogate mother I was hesitant. I knew why she asked that favor of me. She wanted the person who carried the child to be someone close to their hearts. For me there was too much at stake. I was married. I was older. Hong Hye Young found out, somehow. She tarnished such a pure and sincere friendship by making Dong Wook think I was having an affair with Shi On. Our marriage was unsteady then, so he easily believed it. It wasn't hard to manipulate him to believe such a lie. His mother plotted everything with meticulous precision. Young Do was barely twelve when I was forced out of the house and into a divorce settlement."

"So the child…"

"I accepted to be surrogate mother. That's why I was gone for a year. To have the child."

"Shouldn't he be with your friends then?"

"Eun Gi only lived long enough to put him to sleep a few times. She died a month after the baby was born."

_What a tragedy._

Eun Sang considered Chan Young and Bo Na. How if such a circumstance ever presented itself – if she had the chance to give her friends such happiness – Eun Sang too would not have hesitated. She would have also done as Kyung Ran.

_Someone you would do anything for._

"Shi On came to me a few months before I parted from Young Do. He left Nam Soon entirely in my care. He had become an alcoholic after Eun Gi's passing and wanted to go into rehabilitation."

"Young Do needs to know all this."

_Before he hears the wrong story from his father._

"The reason I left Young Do," she said, with slight hesitation. "Was because Hong Hye Young promised that Young Do would have freedom."

"What?"

"By staying behind. By remaining a part of Young Do's life. She swore she would make my child's existence lamentable. If I left. If I put distance between us then Young Do would be free to choose whatever life he wanted for himself. She had another son. Other grandchildren. She promised to lay the burden on someone else."

_And you believed her?_

"I seem foolish, don't I? Trusting someone who would twist my relationship with Shi On – with something as delicate as surrogacy – just to be rid of me. Of course I seem foolish. But I trusted her. Because she was like a mother to me. I wanted to believe that her pride had been bigger than her love, which was why she couldn't accept me as a daughter-in-law. I wanted to believe she still cared for me as a person. She liked making deals and had always kept her word."

"His father isn't tied to such promise," Eun Sang said.

"Dong Wook won't force his son into the same abyss he grew up in. A marriage of convenience – he knows what it's like to live that way. He saw it in his parents." Her conviction was strong. "I know that perhaps to you he seems like a heartless man. I know him well. There are things he won't do."

Eun Sang felt her phone vibrate. She looked up at Kyung Ran. "My phone is ringing. May I get this call? I've been trying to get a hold of Young Do."

"Please answer," Kyung Ran said with worry.

"Myung Soo?" Eun Sang said. "Did you find him? Are you with him?"

"_He's not at the studio. Or his suite. He came to work and left. He might have broken some dishes. And maybe given someone a black eye. Ya! What's going on, Cha Eun Sang? He always ignores my calls but you – he waited so long to have you call him. He's not going to blow you off like that. A meteor must have fallen on his head."_

"Did you try his house?"

"_I can't check there. His father banned me from the house. As soon as they even see my car pull up they send out the bodyguards. I'm not made for fighting."_

Eun Sang didn't want to know the reasons why Myung Soo had been banned.

"Then I'll go check."

"_I can take you to his house. I'll dress up and tell them I'm your sister. Where are you?"_

"I'm at a cafe called Secret Garden. I'll text you the address."

Kyung Ran leaned forward. "Is he alright?"

Eun Sang hurriedly typed the address to Myung Soo.

"I don't know how much Young Do has changed since you last saw him," Eun Sang said. "But he's not the type of person to go down so easily."

* * *

Myung Soo had exaggerated when he said that bodyguards rounded Young Do's house whenever they so much as heard the engine of his black luxury sedan. When Eun Sang got out of the car, Myung Soo followed behind her. The black gate looked more intimidating at night than it did during the day. Eun Sang looked at the call box and pressed the red button. Myung Soo sniffled behind her and looked around – as if he was truly expecting bodyguards to pound him into a pulp. He had asked her questions without relent. Eun Sang refused to give him any answers. She knew that Myung Soo was close to Young Do but she wasn't certain how much he knew concerning Kyung Ran. There was so much of Young Do's life that was shrouded in mystery that she wondered if anyone truly knew what waited beyond the shadows.

Mrs. Go's voice echoed through the speaker of the call box in a customary greeting.

"Good evening. It's Cha Eun Sang," she announced. "Is Choi Young Do home? Can we see him?"

The relief in Mrs. Go's voice was worrisome. "_Oh! Miss Cha Eun Sang. It's good that you're here. I will personally escort you from the gate. The young master is here… but…"_

Eun Sang's heart sank. "But what?"

"_It would be best for you to see for yourself."_

When Mrs. Go came to get them, she looked nervously at Myung Soo. It was evident that she worried about stepping over Dong Wook's explicit order to not let this particular friend inside.

"Don't worry!" Myung Soo said. "I'll just say I jumped the fence. He'll definitely believe me."

Mrs. Go nodded. "He came a while ago. He was bruised. He went straight to the janitor's room for a machete."

"A _machete_?" Myung Soo gasped. "Ya! Ya! How could you let him take a machete? Don't you know his fists are dangerous enough?"

Mrs. Go's perturbation was evident. "Who can stop the young master?"

Without being told another word – Eun Sang ran. She knew where he was, and what he had done. She glanced up at his impressive house and located his bedroom window. Below it was the garden. She just had to run a bit more. Eun Sang knew he was there. Her heart accelerated as she came to the clearing. The scent of flowers was almost nauseating. He was on his knees when she spotted him, the machete hanging from a limp arm. His uniform was torn and dirty; he was in rags. Young Do had chopped away all the flowers – every last one – until they were scattered about him in an explosion of color. He was trembling. It was the coldest night of winter. He looked so pale beneath the moonlight – almost like a ghost.

"Don't you dare take a step closer, Cha Eun Sang."

"How did you know it was me?"

"You have a habit of regretting your decisions," his voice was hoarse. "It's too late this time."

"I never knew you could be so pessimistic," she said with annoyance. "All this time. You have cheered me on. When it seemed impossible, you told me it was possible. Was it all bullshit?"

"You can even curse in front of me now?" He stabbed the machete point first into the soil. "Maybe I have gone too soft. Maybe I should remind you why you made the wrong choice earlier."

"I did what you wanted to do," she said defiantly. "What you wanted to do but couldn't bring yourself to do. I did that. I stayed with her. I made sure she was alright. She cried a lot. And she regrets as badly as you do. She's worried. She misses you."

His grip on the hilt tightened until his knuckles went white. "I didn't ask you for a report concerning my mother, Cha Eun Sang."

"What can I do? I can even hear your thoughts now. You've become that buried inside of me."

"You have no idea what my thoughts are," he hissed.

"Then tell me I guessed wrong just now."

He didn't respond.

"What are you doing here?"

"I should ask you the same," he retorted. "This is _my _house."

"You know exactly why I'm here. I was worried."

"Well, now that you have verified I'm alive, you can leave." His voice was acid. "You can go and call her to let her know that her son is still breathing. It seems that's as far as my well being matters to her."

"Are you really going to be like this, Choi Young Do?"

"Does it disappoint you? That this is all I can do?" He lifted a handful of broken petals. His hands were bleeding. "Destroying the garden that I stupidly kept for a woman who never intended to see me again – is it childish? Well. This is only the beginning. I plan to burn every book she ever read to me."

"Do you think that doing any of this will change anything?"

Young Do yanked the machete from the ground and stood. He whirled around to face her and pointed it at her. He looked lethal – dangerous. He wanted to intimidate her. He wanted her to falter. Eun Sang would have once been afraid, long ago. She would have run away. She would have played right into his hand. This is what Young Do did – he pushed people away by terrorizing them. He made sure no one dared to dig deeper – to find what was hidden beneath him.

_I already know. And I won't let you go._

"It may not change anything," he drawled. "But it makes me feel good."

"Do you think holding _that _against me will scare me away?" She shook her head. "Is that what you did to Kim Tan? Did you hurt him to the point where he left you? Is that what you do?"

His eyes narrowed at her.

"You picked the wrong lamb if you wanted this to be easy."

"I already told you. I _will _hurt you. I will make you cry."

She took a step forward. "It doesn't make you feel good."

Eun Sang bent to grab a broken rose from the ground.

"Every flower you destroyed weighs on your heart. Every book you burn will be like setting your skin on fire. Hurting the kids at school – like your father hurt you – it leaves you more bruised than what you leave them. Every word you've cut people with has made you bleed more than them. Every single thing you do is a punishment to yourself. You thought I wouldn't see that? It was you who _wanted _me to see you. To acknowledge you. Now I have. And that's what I see."

Young Do let the machete drop from his hand. His eyes were a whirlpool of feelings. His parched lips parted, "I'm warning you, Cha Eun Sang. I'm not _playing _bad wolf tonight."

"Didn't you know?" She took another step closer. "I'm a stray lamb. It may seem like I don't know what I'm getting into – where I'm heading – but I do. So let's not play games anymore."

"You'll regret that decision."

"Then it will be my choice to regret," she said. "You once said I shouldn't worry about your crown. I haven't. Even when I feel I'll have to pay for it – I'm not going to concern myself. So stop worrying about my wool. I'll take care of it myself."

"Did you really just say—"

"Don't even think of diverting," she warned. "How long will you do this to yourself?"

He regarded her for a long moment.

"I don't know how to stop. I don't think I can stop. The pain is bigger than reason, Cha Eun Sang. Right now all I want is revenge."

"Your mother is the last person who should be on the receiving end of your rage," she said. "You know how they work, Choi Young Do. You know they have power over those who don't have anything. You're seeing the Chairman do it to me."

"Don't you think I know that? I know they forced her out. I always knew. And that's why I didn't resent her for leaving me. But does knowledge lessen the pain, Cha Eun Sang? My mind can logically accept it but—" He punched his chest angrily. "—my heart doesn't get it. Do you know what I felt when I walked in there and saw her? Living so well, with another son… while I've been here… like _this_. Always like this. I can't accept it."

"You don't have to explain it to me."

"Then stop looking at me like that!" He shouted furiously. "Stop looking at me like you can't comprehend what I'm going through."

"I never said I didn't understand!" She cried. "Or that you weren't entitled to react this way. I'm not disappointed in you because of what you said to your mother or what you're feeling right now. Who am I to judge you?"

He pressed his lips together. She saw that he wanted to cry – that he was still holding back. How many cries had he swallowed? How many feelings were buried in him – weighing him down miserably?

"What's killing me right now is the defeat in your eyes! Destroying the garden, burning books, getting into fights – what does it accomplish?" She waved a hand around. "What does any of this prove? That you're in pain? That you're mad? I know that. I get it. But you're Choi Young Do. You've already come this far. Don't you dare give up."

He stared at her – as though he were seeing her for the first time, as though he hadn't quite seen her before.

"You said you would never become a tame wolf. I expect you to keep that promise. You can't be tame if you're going to take revenge."

"You _want _me to take revenge?"

"Revenge doesn't always have to be evil," she reasoned. "What wrong is there to put everything back to its rightful place? Isn't that what you want? Isn't that what you've been fighting for? To have your mother be able to walk through those gates and see these flowers – and the library. To let her walk back into your life without fear?"

Young Do closed the remaining distance between them. He was shivering like a leaf through a windstorm. Eun Sang shrugged her coat off and put it over his shoulders. The intensity of his eyes left her breathless. Even in his most broken moment he was beautiful. Because he was flawed. Because he was human. Because he could be angry, childish, and petty but he was also kind. He was gentle. Because he could be as cruel as his father but as warm as his mother. He was a contradiction that somehow made perfect sense. She could not – and would not – look away from him. In that moment she understood him. How he had wanted to simply stand by her side at the forefront of battle. Not to fight her battles for her but to fight them with her. For that was exactly what Eun Sang wanted to do for him.

"Ya! Choi Young Do!" Myung Soo jogged up to them. He bent over to catch his breath. "I hate to interrupt your exchange of eye jewels but—" He pointed over his shoulder. "Your mom is here."

Young Do looked at Eun Sang.

"I came with Myung Soo."

"That's not all!" Myung Soo leaned on Eun Sang for support. "Your dad is here too. And they're fighting outside."


End file.
